The Sea of Legends

Spoilers below.

I would like to note that, while I gave a lot of criticism, the story was quite good.

Plot-5/8
The story states exactly what will happen, an adventure set in a Greek myth, then delivers. However, it does not go any farther than that. There are no plot twists or major realizations to keep the reader engaged after the first two pages. It delivers exactly and only what it said it would deliver.
I agree with Petros in that it was very similar to the Odyssey. It would be better if it was just a bit more unpredictable.
This story was also quite linear. Any straying from the main path resulted in death.
The death endings were also hard to distinguish from one another, as almost all of them involve being killed by a boulder thrown by the cyclops. Still, this is somewhat excusable because more graphic deaths would not be quite as family friendly.
The gameplay was smooth, and it felt like a lot of work was put into the planning.

Characters-6/8
For such a short story, Daniel is well characterized in the way he reacts to the main character telling him to not do something, by just doing it anyway. I also liked how he actually did what the main character told him to do when in life-threatening situations.
Katie is also pretty well characterized, by just tagging along with whatever Daniel is doing or spouting knowledge of Greek myths and electrocution.
The main character could use some work. I felt their only personality trait was caring about Daniel and Katie and being the leader of the group. I also felt his reactions were quite tame, and while Daniel’s and Katie’s somewhat tame reactions are understandable, as they are rather young, the main character is an adult who should be extremely worried about being lost in the middle of the ocean. Still, it is pretty hard to characterize multiple characters in a fairly short story, so this didn’t really lower my rating.

General Writing-6/8
The writing style was consistent throughout, and there were occasional typos, though nothing that distracted from the story.
Honestly, the dialogue was probably the best part of the story. It was entertaining while also revealing important personality traits. It was truly well-written.

I have nothing more to say. Quite a good story, truly. I gave it a 5/8, though just a bit more unpredictability would have made it a 6.

Alright, so obviously, as Gryphon has said, this is the first part of a longer story he has planned. It was obviously at least a little bit rushed, so it’s missing some polish and has the occasional typo. That said, it does have a nice, nostalgic feel to it.

If I were to compare it to anything, this story kind of reads like a Magic Treehouse book. The kids are put in the place of a great hero of the past, they are in grave danger, but a well-read, clever kid with some common sense will come out ahead in the end. Though I’m pretty sure the protagonist is actually supposed to be a young adult. Still kind of feels like a kid though.

(Possible Spoilers)

It feels like the dangers may have been scaled back from the Odyssey to provide a kid sized version or something. Polyphemus is certainly at least less man eating. These differences can sometimes be jarring, but it is important to realize that it’s probably sanitized for a family friendly audience, and that many of the problems in the Odyssey could be avoided by not bring an aggressive idiot.

If I was forced to pick something that I consider a flaw with this story, it would probably be the fact that it is so linear. Honestly, even this would be fine if it didn’t follow the idea of the Odyssey so closely. It almost felt like an adaptation rather than its own story.

All in all though, it was enjoyable and managed the short length well.

this was fun

Not sure how to rate it since it's not finished, but I'm curious what my score is.

Decent for a short game.

The characters were well constructed and the world seems fun to explore. The narrative was well written, and had a decent amount of choices for endings.

Overall, I enjoyed it. Wish it was longer.

Not a bad game, but I got a tummy ache from the last time I ate at a greek restaurant so 1/8.

A quality blend of modern day and greek myth. A bit basic, but overall pretty safe and still entertaining. Overall 6/8