Player Comments on Temporary Paradise

Not bad, honestly was expecting worse!

First Impressions: "Oh thank god this wasn't a loop until you get it right kind of story!"

Overall the story was pretty well written for how short it was. Sadly it is extremely linear. The choices you make barely effect the story until the end. Even then, you just choose between a good ending and a bad ending.

The grammar was alright too. There is a part in the story where you wrote "Then, for a split second, you saw it. A tiny spark of energy dancing on the edge of the town, as if something was safeguarding it, or even better, guarding it." The ending bit with the commas was unnecessary. Otherwise there isn't anything I can complain about in this category.

The gameplay, like I said above, was pretty much non-existent. There are only six actual choices and a sort of optional description, but the first four choices don't actually change much. There is a bit of a different dialogue but you still end up with the same ending choices.

Because of the decent writing and I'm still feeling good from submitting my own story at the last minute, I'll give this a 4/8.