"Hello and welcome to this week's episode of 'Who wants to be a Christian'", the egregious Chris Tarrant announces to a crowd of hooting plebians. "This week's contestant wants to defend their faith in front of the ITV watching public (one can only assume he is referring to the retarded, lobotomised, cretinous and deranged demographic if our faith in humanity is to remain intact) for fabulous cash prizes! Well, let's get on with the first question..."