You're Hired


(A young man covered in flames is running up and down the street, begging for someone to save him, but he's only met with looks of amazement as the bystanders have never seen anything like it before. They stare in shock and awe while the man continues to burn. He eventually collapses in the middle of the road and dies, his flames going up in smoke)



INTERIOR: A lifeless mall, where Henry Farrier, is seen maintaining a table containing various items.

NARRATOR: It all started on a lazy Sunday afternoon. He had just graduated college, but the only place he could find work was at some zombie mall. The place was so dead I'm not even sure if the name was worth mentioning. He got put in charge of sales, and believe it or not selling crappy rip-offs is extremely hard. He just sat there, as the people avoid eye contact, obviously the right decision. And it's good for him too cause less work. Honestly, if the pay were a little bit better, one could say this was a nice gig. But of course, just when he was thinking the job was ok, he get a rude awakening. 

                                {Enter a blonde manager with pearly white teeth who approaches Henry}

MANAGER: (smiling eerily) Excuse me? Do you work here?

HENRY: (nods slowly)

MANAGER:Look buddy,I know it's "controversial" nowadays to ask people to do their jobs, but the CEO's son is here right now. The least you could do is try to get SOME sales, y'know?

NARRATOR: He looked at his table, holding three different types of items. You had the Kissinger Fragrance, a Cologne made for guys who want to feel "respected." I'm guessing it's supposed to used to let women know that their date has money but he hates showering. Kissinger Lotion, it doubles as skin and hair lotion. But it feels like a product that's meant to be looked at before the person buys something else. And last was my raffle wheel. The lucky ticket holder would win a free cellphone since those are all the rave these days. If someone asked me which of these I want I'd probably file a complaint.

HENRY:(shrugs) I can try.

MANAGER:Thanks, bud he resurrected his creeper smile. "Trust me if you work hard you'll go far here," (walks away finger banging)

NARRATOR: I think the janitor makes more than Henry,so I'm not sure which direction "far" is supposed to be.Either way, he's gonna have to get off his ass. For today at least. 

 {A blonde women with perfectly permed hair, and business attire complete with sunglasses walks through the aisle} 

 NARRATOR:But he can't just try to sell everything. Looking desperate is how you lose leverage. You gotta make the right choice but what exactly is this person gonna fall, hook, line, and sinker for?