Farming on Nipthm

The sun beats down, drenching the field in blue light. The snubflower silently vibrates as they absorb it. You wipe your brow and lean against the hoe, breathing in the peppery air. Well that's enough exercise for one day, you think. With the flick of a switch, you leave it up to the Farmbot 2000 to carry out the rest. Why do they always call it 2000 with these robots? It's not like they had 1999 older models.

You don't put another thought in it. Time to turn on Galaxy News and see what all those crazy planets are up to. Then maybe hit up a bar, since you can't get a match on It's not you, it's them.

Click! The digi-screen forms from pinpoints, beading out from all sides of the holographic screen. The light coalesces and a middle-aged newsman appears before you, his face wrinkled in concern.

"Alert! Alert! Infamous outlaw Raoul Chicharrones was just seen landing a craft only 20 miles away from the city of Hereish. He is a contemptible and dangerous man, known for his bingo gambling scams and underground midget fighting rings!" A picture of Raoul appears on-screen, with a Spanish complexion in all ways but for a lustrous, thin handlebar stache.

"The robocam that identified him was destroyed by his own gunfire blast, and from then on, there were no further witnesses. Please do not interact with any suspicious looking characters in the meantime. This story will update in realtime as we-" the narrator looks away from the camera, talking on mute to someone else. He turns back.

"Sorry for the interruption, folks, but this is now escalating to a major emergency. A bounty gang called AimFire has declared they will take generalized action if we don't find and hand over Mr. Chicharrones. Rest assured we will engage in negotiations even as we find him. We're confident in this. Thank you, that is all for now. Stay safe."

Oh, you've heard about AimFire. Who hasn't? They pop up now and then for some high-profile bounties, usually wreaking havoc on everything around to kill their target. Their salaries are paid on a mixture of blasting cities to ruins to kill one guy in it, and massive bribes to not do that. The problem is, United Space doesn't recognize outer planets like Nipthm, and nobody else in the outer planets has the economy to afford those solutions. "Generalized action" could be an orbital bombardment with AimFire. There's a lot of caves on Nipthm, so they probably won't send a hit squad.

This isn't good. Maybe you can do something about it.