Player Comments on Wolves of FireBlaze: The Finding

I love this where can I find the next part?

I knew this was going to be bad...oh so bad...


New paragraphs when someone new is speaking. More writing. Better details. More important choices. Unpublish and get someone to proofread your edits. Thanks, and buh bye.

2/8 (although, I'll cut you some slack, 3/8)

Well, it was decent, but some things Could be improved. There was only about one paragraph on each page, which makes it short. You should also make sure to create a new paragraph everyime the speaker changes. (If one wolf is done speaking, and another starts to, what they say should be in a new paragraph.)

Too short and linear but decent writing.

As these wolf stories go I liked this one. Your writing style is descriptive and interesting though not quite Call of the Wild yet :) A few recommendations:
1) With dialogue put the speaker on a new line otherwise the text is a jumble and difficult to read.
2) For a choose your own adventure story you should have more genuine choices and story branches, if you find it a bit tricky at first have them link back to each other/the one real path.
3) Don't divide your stories into chapters or parts, nobody does this unless you're getting paid by a magazine to release a story in instalments and we would rather read one finished story, even if it's short, than 10 bits of a story :) Think of a plot with a distinctive opening, middle and end, populate it with named characters and just give us that :)
I hope you write more though, I like the descriptions and settings :D

I rated it 5/8.
Storyline: It's fine I guess. I mean, not a lot of effort was put into this right now. I can you see you plan on expanding it further, but why don't you wait until you finish to put that out there? It's incomplete work. Overall, though, the choices were bland. It just kind of. . . I don't really know.

Grammar: I didn't see any serious typos in my playthrough.

Interest: Like next to 0. Still, though, your story, if put more effort into it, will and can be an amazing story. But steer away from the Warriors fan-fictitious stories. Because everyone on here is so damn tired of those.