Player Comments on Cantina Band: Dusty Death in D-Minor
This isn't bad. Here are some thoughts:
- "The three beings are approachig the speeder fast. You need to make a decision....pronto!" Your grammar and spelling started off fairly good, then kind of dropped off a cliff a little bit towards the end and descended into the dreaded '!' and '...' abuse. Most of the issues are with spelling to be honest; you seem to have a lot of words where two letters are swapped around so it needs a proof-read, then another one.
- "Don't worry there's a sequel : ]" I'd put this in the description because it kind of detracts away from the ending.
- I actually quite liked the general plot and it helps that the setting doesn't particularly need to be fleshed out as long as you know what Star Wars is, which is a given assuming you don't live in one of those Amazon tribal communities that's shut off from the World. The writing isn't bad; I'd say it's above average for this site. Still, the average here leaves a lot to be desired, so you can always improve. I'd suggest maybe a little more description of the specific bar or the Mos Eisley Spaceport to get the reader a little more immersed.
- Some of the sound effects were... audibly questionable, 'FreEEEerf!' and 'BhraCRH!' being my two favourites. I find that restraining the urge to mash your keyboard with one hand tends to help with this.
- Not a fan of the font changes from the start to the second page. Personally, I feel like sticking it in italics would have looked nicer, but it was consistent thereon so we cool fam.
- Also with the start, the 'deadly news' thing was a little bit cliche and could have been more subtly written, but I guess it whipped up a tiny amount of tension.
- Of course, the length is an issue. Something like a Star Wars fanfic (fanfic? That sounds a bit wrong somehow in this context. I don't know... spinoff?) deserves more than 4000 words, which most people can write in a couple of hours.
- I don't really see why one branch basically became a Star Wars quiz, but you do seem pretty damn into Star Wars so I guess that explains it. Still, I feel that it was pretty unrealistic and detracted from the story a little, even if I did enjoy doing it! Also, the arbitrary 'which box represents the force?' thing was kind of lame, not gonna lie.
- "The second box is of a more modest size, and is made of craved wood." God, I know exactly the wood you're talking about. There isn't a day that goes by where I don't want that damn good wood.
Despite my criticism, the dialogue was pretty realistic, more so than I was expecting upon seeing that <4.00 rating when I first came across this game.
4/8. A proof-read could have bumped it up to 5/8.
on 7/18/2017 7:57:53 AM
Very nicely written with good descriptions and plot. The variety of choices one has are also excellent. I don't see that it's necessarily linear, because of course you want to move the story forward. Some of the choices, however, could have branched a bit more instead of leading to instant death. Also, I would have liked more of the story! I felt it ended too quickly, right as I was figuring things out. Excellent job, though. Please keep contributing.
on 9/6/2006 1:43:57 AM
Not a Star Wars fan so i guess this just wasn't for me
on 7/9/2017 10:57:49 PM
It was very short. There some spelling and grammar issues, but an okay start to a larger story.
on 10/6/2016 12:40:04 PM
Meh... I wish there had been more than one way to not die
-- Nikerk05 on 3/2/2016 11:45:10 PM
It was good, but just as it was geting going it eneded. Needs to be longer
-- Jordy P on 9/18/2014 11:36:54 AM
It was okay. There were a couple of mistakes like the use of "obsurbed" instead of "observed." Also it was too short and ended right when it started to get fun. I'll go try the sequel now though. :)
-- Silver on 6/29/2013 3:30:55 AM
easy to win
on 5/3/2013 9:52:28 AM
Nice start, would liek to see more. But there's a sequel, I go there now. :D
on 9/28/2011 6:21:06 AM
a very good start!
on 5/16/2010 10:20:23 PM
It's really good, but not enough action. However, I believe you made up for that in your sequel.
on 7/15/2009 8:55:56 PM
pretty cool can't wait to play sequal
-- mr. x on 7/26/2008 7:27:33 PM
hey people the sequel is out! Cantina Band:The Assassin's new tune is out.
Play this then play the sequel ENJOY!
on 7/23/2008 12:10:32 PM
Linear, but okay. Yeah.
on 4/18/2008 8:23:11 PM
Thanks for all the comments, but I'm not going to be on for a while, Bye.
P.S. The next sequel will probably be in Summer/Fall 2008
-- th*mage*of*kings on 12/29/2007 12:32:38 PM
Had to play it once more. It's really good, I upped my rating to an 8 instead. Can't wait for the sequel. ;)
on 10/27/2007 2:35:06 PM
Don't worry, the sequal will fix all these problems
on 5/12/2007 11:39:31 AM
Good game, just fix up the spelling and spell Bith with a capital.
on 4/1/2007 7:51:33 AM
Good writing. Except that Jedi in the story and the widespread knowledge of IG-88 units, this fits into the Star Wars universe pretty well. It bothered me a little that some important proper nouns, such as "Jedi" and "Bith" were left uncapitalized, but of course that doesn't take too much away from the narrative. By the way, I love the title.
on 1/11/2007 7:43:13 PM
Life is complex for a cantina band.
on 1/7/2007 5:02:39 PM
Too much writing. Try splitting them up into more pages. Also make it less linear.
on 10/28/2006 12:42:26 AM
good game a bit liner and I wish it was longe but it was good looking forwrad to the seqiul
on 10/26/2006 8:27:30 PM
well written- might be hard to play if you didn't know much Star Wars
on 10/12/2006 11:35:54 PM
We take all comments into the sequel...
linear...depends on which path you take
on 9/8/2006 5:06:44 PM
That was too linear, had too much Star Wars lingo and was quite short, which i understand will be fixed by the sequel
on 9/8/2006 4:53:22 PM
Great game! Good story line, but next time, CAPITALIZE names. Like Tuscan.
on 9/5/2006 6:31:39 PM
the whole star wars stuff has been done to death! not that original and only 2 choices/page. thanks for having clear writing, but be more creative.
on 9/4/2006 11:15:53 PM
I enjoyed this game very much. You did the whole, it's linear, but there are different ways to get to the conclusion without missing the story. I like that, I like that a lot in a game on here. You defiently show potential, I think. I am just one person though, we'll see how the others like JJJ respond to this game. I will give a very nice, 7/8. Well, done. I WILL play the sequel when it comes out.
on 9/4/2006 10:26:10 PM