AzBaz, The Reader
Cut me, I bleed ink.
Location: Somewhere deep within the beating heart of England that is the Midlands (a.k.a: that other bit that's not Lundun).
Slogan: "Hahaha, yeah... But seriously, if you touch me I will cut you."
Favourite Tea: Need you ask? The delicate taste of Earl Grey. Obviously.
Hobbies: Contemplation of the infinite and juggling
Favourite colour: I'm blind, thanks for bringing it up...
I'm working on, and have been working on, a story for 4 years now. It's been very on and off, but I like the idea of having one thing I've invested huge amounts of time into that I can be proud of. It will probably take me another year to finish.
You decide to...
1) Play the game
2) Don't play the game, get off your internet-capable device of choice, and make a nice hot cuppa... only to jump up out of curiosity and play the game
3) Question whether your choices in life are actually limited to these meager options, or whether free will is coherent in a deterministic Universe governed by Newtonian mechanics, only to pretentiously assert that Bergson's theory of 'La Durée' successfully defends the liberty of indifference definition and, content with your shallow metaphysical speculation so easily obtainable from a quick internet search, smugly begin playing the game
4) Weigh up the pros and cons of both playing and not playing the game in the form of a neat spider diagram, then end up playing it after 10 minutes of sobbing about how you haven't felt the warm touch of another human being in nearly 3 months with a healthy dollop of self-pity
Still not convinced? Let's take a look at some reviews:
"A masterful display by young master AzBaz on the intricacies of literary stains usually rare to the English language, which he so carelessly insists upon bandying about. The only respite from the morass of lifeless droning this pitiful attempt at a story presents is the end, where the reader is finally allowed to indulge themselves in their cesspit of self-loathing for having considered continuing to read this abomination for more than 5 minutes." - Jœgën Kølfsmetzsch, Thrice Winner of the 'Generic Norden Noir Award' and Loving Father of Four
"Truly, horrendous" - The Sunday Cloud
"Unrecognised genius! An author clearly decades ahead of his time, AzBaz beautifully crafts a tale rife with passion, adventure, and fantasy, steeped subtly in a melancholic undertone sure to resound with readers of all ages on a fundamental level." - Local Madman
Recent PostsA forgetful newbie on 5/22/2017 10:26:01 AM
Hey:) I'll bear that in mind, thank you!
A forgetful newbie on 5/21/2017 6:06:36 PM
Thanks- your articles have been really useful!
A forgetful newbie on 5/21/2017 6:48:52 AM
Hello Mayana, I think I have seen you in a few forums I've scrolled through!:) Thank you, I'll make sure to take time in making my story!
A forgetful newbie on 5/20/2017 8:17:29 PM
Thank you, everybody seems so nice here!(^?^)
A forgetful newbie on 5/20/2017 8:15:55 PM
In fact, I think I've just thought of how to get round the problem of the random story. But it can only be done once, really. That's gonna be my one.
A forgetful newbie on 5/20/2017 6:42:22 PM
Thank you! I can't believe I haven't stumbled on it before.
A forgetful newbie on 5/20/2017 6:41:36 PM
I'm working my way through them- it's taking a while but I guess it's best to understand it all before I go ahead and copy and paste everything I've written so far in and have to relink or script it all again! Thanks:)
A forgetful newbie on 5/20/2017 6:39:48 PM
Thanks, I was looking through some of the forums and saw 'Mizalism'. Without trying fitting the newbie stereotype too much, what is that? You must be well liked to have your own religion!
I appreciate your advice, thank you. I've put a lot of thought into my story, and just as many words. It isn't particularly canonical, but I think it has some potential. I just want to make my mark and add to the excellent collection and, hopefully, make some people laugh:)
A forgetful newbie on 5/20/2017 5:33:20 PM
A forgetful newbie on 5/20/2017 11:40:02 AM
I signed up a few days ago and I'm loving this community! Stumbled upon it after having been writing a CYOA for the past 4 years on and off and I'm desperately rummaging through how to script (which makes things so much easier and more complex than having to scroll down to each option in a huge document- the literary equivalent of banging rocks together compared to 3D printing). Can't wait to check out stories and publish my own!
Ed: forgot that I meant to say I forgot to say hi. Meta. So hey from England!