Ogre11, The Grandmaster of the Written Word

Member Since

11/20/2014

Last Activity

5/27/2018 11:06 PM

EXP Points

4,081

Post Count

2409

Storygame Count

13

Duel Stats

33 wins / 27 losses

Order

Pre-Eminent Architect Exemplar

Commendations

151

 

I like to write. I have lots of stories running around in my head, but it does take me (WAY) too long to get them from my mind to paper (or computer bits). I've always loved "Choose your own Adventure" type books, so I thought, why not write a few to share with others? I hope you like the stories I set up here.

I suppose I should update this some day... but today is not that day...

 

Trophies Earned

Earning 100 Points Earning 500 Points Earning 1,000 Points Earning 2,000 Points Jointly won the 2017 Wilderness Contest Having 1 Storygame(s) Featured Rated 99.9% of all Stories Given by BerkaZerka on 01/20/2018 - Plentiful Contributions to the Site! Given by Will11 on 01/14/2018 - For your thirteen well-written stories, especially Spy Mission

Storygames

A UFO at School

There's a UFO at the school!

This story was written as a an attempt to try out a different way to write storygames. I tried to write the entire story from start to finish, then insert choices only after writing the story (see more here). The story is intentionally short: this is supposed to be a short story of the type you might read in a magazine: no matter which path you take, it should end up with a story about 800-1,200 words long. For those interested, there are eight different endings.


Alien Abduction

You were minding your own business when you are suddenly abducted by aliens! Now you need to find your way home before, well, you're not sure, but before something!

This is a short, lighthearted puzzle adventure. It is not too hard and not too serious. The puzzle is simple, but try and pay attention to the clues to avoid dying and having to back up! There are seven ways to die and just one way to win.


Created for Riddles & Puzzles 2016 contest

First Runner-up: Riddles & Puzzles 2016


Cryogenic Failure
You signed up for a long space journey -- so long that you would have to be frozen in a cryogenic state for decades until the ship reached the destination: a new planet that was just like earth, but had no inhabitants. The ship was automated, and a group of 249 other people were frozen with you -- to be automatically un-frozen when the ship reached its destination and landed on the planet.

After many strange dreams, you find yourself waking up, but something doesn't seem quite right. This waking up process is not what was described to you at all, and now you're going to have to figure out what happened and what you're doing to do about it!

---

This is a relatively simple choose-your-own ending story adventure. There are many different endings (eight total) with a good story (I hope) behind each. Enjoy picking your own story!

Finding the Muse

This is a game based on writing, inspired by the forums here at CYS.

Your goal is to find your muse and write a storygame for CYS. How will you do that? There is only so much time in the day, and there are so many things that you can do...

In this game, you make the selections and see if you can find the way to the muse and the next great CYS story. There are a total of 5 different endings to this storygame.

Special thanks to Kiel Farren and ISentinel Penguin for their forum contributions to this story (whether they believe it or not).


Go Get The Mail!

You have a simple task -- go and get the mail. Oh, it sounds easy, but could you ever imagine how many different things could get in your way?

This is my first attempt at a storygame. It's a very basic "Choose your path" story. Let me know what you think of it in the forums!


Featured Story Spy Mission

In this story, you take on the role of yourself. Your day starts out like every other day for you, until a few different things happen... and you have to decide what to do about those things... Join in this fun spy adventure and journey to Prague, Havana, Buenos Aries, and more!

Note: There are a lot of different options in this game. Please do try it more than once -- there are many different ways through (you will always see the same first chapter, but there are many different ways through it to other chapters).

There are also quite a number of endings. For those who like to look for such things, each ending is labeled with a number, and there are 28 different endings (and many ways to get to each one).


Surviving Pre-School

High school can be tough with all the cliques, bullies, "resource" officers, and changing rules. But that is nothing compared to the pre-school room! In pre-school you don't even know what a rule is, never mind that you're breaking it. And those evil naps can slip up on you before you know it. Can you make the right choices to make it through the pre-school day without getting spanked?

Please note: There are just three endings to this little short: you survive pre-school, you do not make it through the day, and, well, you don't want to get the other ending.

Also note: This is an intentionally short, very light-hearted story that is meant to be silly. Please read and enjoy in that vein.

Story inspired by MattC


Survivors

This is a short story that is was an entry for playa988's 4-week long contest. Yes, I wish it was longer, too, but this was intentionally short for the purposes of writing a complete story in the short time frame allowed for the contest. There are, however, 18 endings, so feel free to try the story more than once and follow different paths. The theme of the contest was "gray vs gray," so don't look for a "winning" ending. When it's all grey, no one wins.

The year is 2016 and a series of nuclear bombs have been detonated in dozens of cities across the United States in the population centers. The country is destroyed and many people are dead.

While many cities (and surrounding areas) have been destroyed, there are various areas, far from the population centers, where people have survived. The people are trying to make sense of what happened and are trying to rebuild their lives and their country.

This story takes place in Western Montana where you follow the adventures of Jim Thompson, a survivor of the massive attack, trying to make sense of what is left of the world. Your choices will decide what happens to Jim, and perhaps what happens to the country...

 
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The Adventures of Rory Thorn in Math Class

Rory heads to Math class. That's boring, right?

Well, it is boring for most people, but not Rory Thorn. Rory always manages to find adventure, even in math class. Join Rory in math class and help decide what happens to him and his adventures!

The suggested way to read this story: do not press the back button. Oh sure, I know you want to, but read the whole story through, then start over. You will find that the stories will take you in entirely different directions and I think you really see that when you start over instead of just backing up! But hey, you're the reader, you get to read it however you want!


There is only one ending to this story. However, there are 32 different pathways that lead to that end! There are almost 16,000 words in this story. However, since there are so many pathways, the average story you will read will only be 3,000 words. So it's a short story...but with 16,000 words...


Author's Note: I do hope you enjoy this story. If you think it should be longer, well, I'm sorry, but do look for more stories in the "Adventures of Rory Thorn" series. The idea here was to give you a LOT of options and end up with a single short story.


The Emperor's Zoo
The emperor sends you to a faraway land to capture exotic beasts for his zoo. But a spreading plague, a witch-doctor, and a brewing feud between local tribes presents . . . difficulties.

This is a contest entry for Bucky's December 2017 contest

This ended up being more of a puzzle game than a story. It still has a good story, I think, so I do hope you enjoy it. It will take a little time, there's not a short way through this one!

The Mayoral Campaign

Try to get elected as mayor of your town!

This is more game than story. Okay, there's not really much story to this one, it's a game. There are many options and lots of variables, so be sure to play more than once!


The Mountain Pass
You wake up after a car crash and find yourself lost in the snow. Can you survive and get out alive?

For those interested in such things, there are eight bad endings and three good endings. Sorry about that, but there are lots of ways to die in the wilderness you know.

Created for January, 2017 New Frontier Contest

The Quick Dating Game

Play the quick dating game and see if you can get the girl!

I hope you have as much fun reading this as I did writing it. It was a lot of fun.

This is my official entry for the contest, "Brevity, the Soul of Wit" for August, 2015.

Please note: If you are easily offended by stereotypes, especially as they relate to men, women, and dating, please don't read, rate, or comment on this game. It is meant to be silly.


Adventurer
unpublished
This is a fantasy adventure where you star in the role of the young adventurer! Follow the adventurer along throughout his life starting out as a child and leading into adventure. Be careful with your choices because almost every time you make a choice, it will have an effect later in the story.

A Solar Flare
unpublished

Solar flares are quite common. Many days the sun throws out a number of different solar flares in all directions. Most are of no interest to anyone but astronomers. They aren't dangerous. In fact, the worst solar flare followed by a coronal mass ejection in history (The Carrington Event) really didn't even have much of an effect on the entire planet other than a couple fires and a lot of pretty colors.

That was then, this is now.

Most of the time, earth has days to react to a solar flare because there are astronomers out there watching and recording the sun 24 hours a day. But what if there were a solar flare larger than the Carrington Event? And what if that solar storm made a direct hit on the planet, before anyone had time to prepare? Could humans survive? Could the planet itself survive?

>

The Adventures of Rory Thorn in Biology Class
unpublished

Time for Biology! Sounds fun, doesn't it? What? It doesn't? Well, apparently you've never been in Biology class with Rory Thorn! Come, help Rory get through class by choosing your own adventure and see where he will end up!

The first story in this series is Rory Thorn in Math Class. You do not have to read that story to understand what is going on in this story, but that is his first class of the day, while Biology is his second class.

This series is an attempt to create stories that have recurring characters and are in a way similar to a sitcom -- no matter what happens during the story, everyone returns and is ready to start the next story.

I hope you enjoy this story!


The Adventures of Rory Thorn in English Class
unpublished
It's time to head to English Class

The Archaeologist
unpublished


Join in the adventures of archaeology student Tom Forsyth as he follows clues that lead around the world. Help him make decisions that will unwrap ancient secrets without releasing evil on the world. Discover the pathways of old before others decipher the clues and reveal enough power to take over the world!
>

Winning the CYS Contest
unpublished
Try your hand at winning the latest CYS writing contest! It's not as easy as it sounds: you will have to use strategy, do some quality writing, and figure out how to beat all the other entrants. And you will have to overcome the random number generator (because that's how your opponents are going to be determined).

It's a short game that you can try over and over again until hopefully one time you win that coveted trophy for winning a CYS contest!

Note: This is not an actual CYS writing contest and you will not actually win a trophy for your account if you happen to win this game.

Articles Written

Choose-Your-Own-Stories, Paths, and Writing
How do different paths work in CYS stories? How do you write different paths in your story? What is branching?

Recent Posts

How do you get from one chapter to the next? on 5/26/2018 8:39:06 PM
For chapters, whatever you name the chapter will be the link destination. For example, if I name a chapter "Chapter 2," then when I am in any page and I click the "Add Link" button, there should be an item in the list to select destinations that says "Chapter 2." It won't say the name of the page in the chapter, but should have the actual chapter name.

My Writing Is Going Downhill - What Do I Do? on 5/26/2018 3:58:18 PM
What’s that? You want comments and feedback? That I can do! First, the disclaimers: I am writing these comments as I read through the words you have written the first time. These are really a peek into my demented brain and what I’m thinking as I read along. This is not a comprehensive review, just a smattering of what I’m seeing and thinking. These thoughts and review are not meant to insult you or your writing, and I apologize in advance if they do, it’s just what I think as I’m reading. Also, you did ask for advice. Finally, this review is mine and my thoughts only, so it is likely worth exactly what you paid for it. Yeah, that small print is annoying. I know it’s not part of the writing, but presentation matters. I like that you gave a little context or I really would have been lost. Based on that background, I’m picturing a completely different world, not earth at all, and in a sort of sci-fi time frame. From the background I don’t get a true feeling for if this is a magic world or more modern, but I’m leaning towards a medieval type time frame with peasants and low technology. I start out a bit confused (not that that is uncommon for me). The setup said a boy, Arcas, is returning from a trip. But in the first scene, Arcas is apparently working on forging some very, very shiny steel. I’m also confused by the firelight flickering INTO his eyes. That strangely makes it sound like the light is blasting him in the eyes like some kind of laser beam. I get that you’re trying to describe more of the scene, and I do appreciate the details included with the scene to try and set up the sweaty boy at the forge. Then the scene confuses me again. Maybe there was more in the background, but in your setup you mentioned that the two boys never got along and that Nero did a freeze-ray thing on Arcas’ dad. Yet here they are, hanging out in a forge like they’re best buddies. Why the heck is Arcas even talking to Nero? Why isn’t Arcas attacking him outright at the start of the scene? Is one of the two afraid of the other one for any reason? It seems like Nero has these awesome Mr. Freeze powers, so is that something Arcas is afraid of? Again, maybe all this is covered in other background, but that sort of confused me. And the scene seemed off a little, too. It was setup as a forge. A forge is never a quiet place. There is banging and burning and smoke (okay, smoke is noisy, but still). But somehow a silence filled the room. I don’t see how…oh wait, EXCEPT for the sizzling steaks, I mean coals. Telling me the room was silent and then telling me it wasn’t didn’t work for me. Maybe it would make more sense to say something like “the sound of the sizzling coals was the only sound” or something along those lines. Of course, then I’d still ask why the coals are sizzling. That usually only happens when you drip grease from the bigfoot steaks on them or something like that. When I got to the paragraph that starts with “The noble’s,” I was confused again. Who is the noble? I don’t know who we’re talking about here. Wait, is Nero the noble? Is that why he was able to deep freeze Arcas’ dad and Arcas isn’t doing anything about it? Um… I appreciate the attempts at description, I really do, but how in the heck does messed up hair look like fire against a night? I just really can’t see how that comparison is supposed to work. Anyway, must be a hot day because this guy is drenched in sweat, too. That seems extraneous to mention that just after talking about the other guy drenched in sweat too. Wait, how does light cast a pale shade? That sentence really didn’t make any sense to me at all. Light casts light. Other things cause shadows. Skin can be pale, but I’m not sure a light source (that should be a fire, we’re in a blacksmith shop with walls, I think) can be pale unless it was really designed that way. I don’t know, maybe this smithy has old, poor fluorescent lighting or something. “Nero’s face?” I’m confused again. Is this still the same noble? Maybe the paragraph could have started out with Nero and then it wouldn’t be needed in the middle of the sentence (and I wouldn’t get confused either time). What is so significant about green eyes? I mean, if everyone has green eyes, and that’s been reveled before, I suppose that sentence makes sense. Otherwise, why not blue? Or hazel? And why are his eyes painted? And he’s staring into darkness behind the paint? That whole thing with the eyes is confusing to me. The next sentence throws me off again. Nero talks about being enlightened. At this moment, it sounds like Nero is the typical noble-born bully, walking around and doing whatever he likes. I can picture him walking along, running his fingers over dusty equipment in the shop, knowing he is untouchable. But that type of person would also not have painted over inky depths of eyes that send chills down the smith’s back. Nor would they have unkempt hair. They’d be perfect, immaculate, and always in total control and they’d know it. I don’t know, at this point I’m just confused about the personality of Nero because he seems to have many different ones all at one time so far. And I have no idea why each of those particular words would feel like a punch to the gut to anyone. A moment later, Arcas is threatening to kill Nero. Once again, the personality and position of Nero has changed to be someone who people can actually threaten. That’s not a bully noble, because the bully would never allow that. Wait, what the hell is going on!?! Arcas’ dad is here? When did that happen? I thought Arcas was sitting at the forge working on a sword or something. But now we’re just hanging around and Nero is stand there with a sword at Arcas’ dad’s throat? I’m thinking that’s something I should have known at the very start of this scene. But wait, it gets worse! Apparently, and I have just discovered this, not only was Arcas’ dad in the room the whole time, with the sword at his throat, AND he was completely frozen, Arcas didn’t know any of this. What?!? At some point the completely non-moving and non-speaking father might have been noticed. I mean come on, who, when they have a sword at their throat, doesn’t say something or at least give looks to people to communicate? So Arcas’ dad didn’t do any of that and Arcas didn’t even notice? Maybe the firelight really was beaming lasers into his eyes so he was blind. But now Arcas doesn’t have a sword in his hand, but he’s grabbing one. I thought that he was at the forge, but I guess not. Now he has a sword. Wait, who the heck is Phaidros? Where did he come from? Is he Arcas’ strange father? I guess so. Oh wait, they’re brothers, too? Yeah, I’m pretty confused now. So that doesn’t quite make it up to the first break. I like the story, I like the idea of the story, but I’m just missing some parts. As I’ve mentioned, perhaps they were covered in other background areas of this story, but without them, I’m a bit lost. I think there’s lots of potential here, but it just needs some clarifications in a few areas that I’ve noted. I do hope this has been useful. If it has, I can do some more with further sections if you like. Please do realize this is just one person’s opinion! Good luck with your story and your writing.

Readers Wanted on 5/25/2018 11:58:55 AM
That was one of the best lolrandom games I think I've read. I'm a boat!

New Writer - Advice? on 5/25/2018 11:55:06 AM
As for ending and branches...

CYS stories are insane when it comes to branching and stories. This article, if you haven't read it yet, highlights a few of the issue with paths and stories here. These really are different and can get crazy quickly. I have one story here that has 16,000 words but because of paths any one-time through the story will only see 3,000 words -- and that one only has one ending!

You also asked what people like here. As you might imagine, every person will give you a different answer. In general, people really don't like very short stories, stories without choices, and stories that are just poorly written. Beyond that, you need to write for what you like to write. If you try to write to get high ratings here, you're going to spend a lot of time just trying to please others. If you want to go down that road, go ahead, but it's not easy.

Yes, more endings is certainly fun. Having a number of different endings and making many paths to those ending can be rewarding -- but this will require a lot of work and a lot of planning for it to make sense. In addition, you have to prepare yourself for the idea that people simply aren't going to read most of your story because of the paths! Also, beware of fake choices -- choices that don't have any effect, don't add to the story, and end up leading back to where you started. That and insta-death choices without any warning aren't that much fun, either.

Feel free to keep asking questions about anything! Post ideas, thoughts, and other things, there are some here that will give you feedback (though it might take a few days sometimes). Good luck!

How do you get from one chapter to the next? on 5/25/2018 11:45:09 AM
Yes, the idea behind chapters was more of a "choke point." In other words, the way this was designed, it was intended that you wouldn't be bouncing around a lot between chapters. Instead, linking to a chapter links you to the start page (as mentioned here), but there's not a menu-driven way to jump to different places in the chapter from other chapters. You can, if you like, work around that using scripting and the DEST variable, as mizal mentioned. But in general I've found it easier to only use additional chapters when you do have that clear separation between sections of the story.

Hello on 5/24/2018 3:10:10 PM
Hi there. Welcome to the site. I shall call you "Bruce."

Draw My Attention (Toxic Creativity) on 5/22/2018 11:48:57 AM
And the quicker we all understand that, the better off we all will be.

Scourge on 5/22/2018 11:06:38 AM
Well, unless Tumble the orc is an orc that constantly falls over. I think it works great if Tumble is more of a klutz and not really orc material.

Draw My Attention (Toxic Creativity) on 5/21/2018 10:19:27 PM
Maybe. I know I sure got raped a lot in that one...

Draw My Attention (Toxic Creativity) on 5/21/2018 7:29:20 PM
Recommending a comment for featuring:

On Don't Get Date Raped!

Comment:

Yeah… well parody stories can be fun! This WAS a parody, wasn’t it? Oh my…

Anyway, nice job with the story and options. It is always nice to read a CYS that actually has options that affect the story. Here the options are clear and after playing a few times, it is clear how the different options do end up giving you different choices. So this is certainly a nice addition to the CYS site.

There are also some nice descriptions of some of the actions you get to take. As a matter of fact, I do often drink my drink with both hands, and like a horse. Except with that path, it was weird, because on the previous page I was actually hoping to get with Greg and after the drugging, well, I did. So I got what I wanted? And do they even make pudding pops any more? But yeah, I have no idea how I got to be an FBI agent, either.

Overall, this is a nice, short, entertaining story about a “socially important” topic or something. Well done!

By me, Ogre11.