Player Comments on Children of the Plague

I guess it was interesting. One of the biggest problems of this story is that it is riiddled with grammatical errors, most usually 'your' instead of 'you're'. Furthermore, after playing some other paths it seems like the choices you make -- emo or good, and the sprinkles for example, don't seem to have much affect on you or the world as the same events and choices occur each time. Because of this, I was a little confused by some of the events of the story -- I mean, what is the significance of the robber? Or turning into a cat? Everything seemed to be a bit random, which I think is mostly caused by my next point...

I think the biggest offender is the fact that this is unfinished. There's simply no justification for releasing an unfinished story just to see if your "writing is good" or whatever; it seems to me you were going in with something, added in some random events and kind of lost steam. So please finish this.

As a side note, I think you should flesh out the plot and characters more, as I was confuse about what you meant by infected and non-infecteds and why my mother carried around a shotgun; point is you could do a better job of describing the world the protaganist is in better. Why does my character hate my father? And what about ny mother? You could also build-up the brother/sister relationship too, perhaps add some history between us.

I don't really understand, well, the lore of this story and what and why is really going on. Despite the fact it was riddled woth grammatical errors, it seems to be written fairly well. The world and the plot need to be fleshed out some to make this a little non-linear, and all of this brings us back to the main point: Finish this!

It doesn't make sense. One moment I'm choosing ice cream flavors, and next there's a robber? And then I go to the freaking zoo?? What's the plot and where are you going with this? Jeez, even the title and description don't make much sense.
It looks like you put some effort in, but if you don't plan on finishing this you should probably unpublish it. 2/8.

PS, I graded this a 5 out of 8.
PPS, Love story?

I definitely would've graded this better if you'd finished it. As for ideas, maybe if you go catty, mom & dad wig out and call the police and they try to catch you and do horrible things to you, they succeed, and then you find out the flame-y kid is there right before a jail break. you get out, find out some horrid plot of the gov's (like Gregor and the Curse of the Warmbloods(by Suzanne Collins) with a sickness off Inhuman (by Kat Falls).
... And yes, I suggest you read those. :)

This would have got a much better rating if it was finished. There is a lot of potential to this story, it just needs a lot more development with the plot and characters. I see you haven't been on in a while, but if you do decide to finish the story, just remember, YOU CAN DO IT!!

Even if it is you birthday, you can't get ice cream in the morning. Also you could have explained why a man could catch someone on fire or why a 10 year old girl can beat up a grown man.

{SPOILER ALERT]

I like how you let the readers choose to be [strong, fast, charming] and how it affects in the latter part of the story [if you choose chocolate, you should choose charge later on]. Too bad the game isn't finished yet. I'd like to know what happens when I check under the dresser...

Bad links, and everything leads to a dead end. I like the concept and direction you are going with this though. Please finish it ^.^

well it was involved but just when you started to interest me i got led to an incomplete page with no options

Seems interesting, though the final options lead to death if I'm trying to be charming. Don't know if it's on purpose since the game isn't finished yet.
Hope you write up the full story. I'll be looking foward to it.