Player Comments on An Empty Head

Well...when I opened the storygame to begin with, the first thing I thought was, 'Where's the rest?'

As I read the rest of the storygame, that initial impression was only firmed. And I'm disappointed that, out of the list of options I did have, only a couple could actually be clicked on.

The player character not knowing who they are would be something that could be done really well...but in this instance, the pages in the storygame were so short, it just didn't live up to its potential. And I'm not really sure why I was able to click on all of the links after completing the storygame in the first place, since all of them just brought me to blank pages.

I think this storygame could have had a lot of potential...but sadly, it just didn't live up to that. If it gets expanded into a full storygame at some point in the future, I'd be interested in reading it, as I think the core concept was a really interesting one. Even in the time given, though, I think this storygame could have been expanded a lot more than it actually was, with far more detail about the world and the characters.

There is a charm to short stories cast into the dream sphere. There can be enjoyment in the mystery of an unknown character and setting and the realization of everything coming together. This does not do any of that very well BUT it definitely has the ability to develop into a story that does those things.
I think everything is just a little too vague, there is too little writing and the writing that is there is bland and boring. There can be a lot done in 24 hours. This is not that.

Not really the best choice for a competition which requires a storygame, keyword 'storygame', written in 24 hours. This reads more like a prologue than a short and finished story.

0 actual branching, little story to actually read, no epilogue.

3 out of 8

The game had very little effort put into this. It was confusing, there were some misspellings, and it was boring.

It's certainly a good idea, and with further development of the story, it could become a great piece of work.