Player Comments on Escape from here... (OG)
Okay so this is a 1000 word story and the author is new and seems quite young. Usually a recipe for disaster, but this was better than I expected.
It still might end up taken down since I know the ratings are going to shake out on the low end, but while the game itself isn't anything to get excited about, I think the author exhibits the basic skills to put together a much more viable second try. Grammar is fine, there's an understanding of items and link restrictions, that's all a good start.
I'd advise next time to just focus on making the writing itself a little more vivid and exciting. We're told there's these monsters pounding on the walls with their fists or "something", and you can be attacked by them for a losing ending, but about this and the place you're in ("somewhere") a lot is left pretty vague.
If there's going to be a focus on puzzle elements, those could be jazzed up a little too. The one where you pick a door didn't even seem to have a hint given, so it wasn't much of a puzzle, just clicking links one after another until you found the right one.
Some questions to consider when writing the next one: Are you describing the story events you imagine in a way that can be clearly visualized by others? Does the main character have their own personality or thoughts on these events, or is it a generic 'you' with the focus on the reader solving puzzles? Are the puzzles interesting/challenging enough to be engaging on their own, or does there need to be more focus on character and plot?
At any rate, you seem pretty young so just understanding how sentences work is a pretty bit accomplishment in itself, the rest I imagine will improve with time as you're exposed to more good books and different writing styles.
view more...
—
Mizal
on 3/12/2024 10:20:27 AM with a score of 0
I love the length. It's so short yo' momma thought it was a recipe. (Coming from the author)
view more...
—
TemporDestroyer
on 3/12/2024 9:01:22 AM with a score of 0
Close Window