Player Comments on Random Life

On the bright side by publishing A Random Room first this one gets a lot more favourable reviews by comparison :D There were characters, settings, story branches and even a rough plot here but again it's too short. Like Mizal says you should not be writing three or four words a page. I noticed on your Profile it says you don't do paragraphs. It's not that difficult, I've just done one there. Try it.

If you're stuck for inspiration try reading some of the writing advice in the Help and Info Section, some of the other great stories on here (particularly in the Puzzle section if that's a favourite of yours) and think more about what you're going to write. Above all aim for more pages, try 50 instead of 10 or 30 as you'll never get more than 1/8 or 2/8 rating with stories that are so short it takes 30-60 seconds to read them :)
Improvement as an author is very easy at this stage if you are willing to put in the time and a little effort :)

This story requires a lot more work, and dedication. Detail to set the scene is extremely important in stories. There also isn't much of a story here. Remember these: "who, what, where, why, how". Those can be pointers that can help your story work.

Let's take an example here.
"Your friend got arrested."
This is how the story starts out, and I have to say, I'm not exactly impressed with this. But you've made a start to it. It can go on to be more detailed, and so much more.

Main factors questions for this are:
Who is my friend?
What did he do?
Where did this take place?
Why did he do it?
How was he arrested?

So the next time you edit your story, or you're in the production of making one, be sure to refer to the "WWWWH".

It has an okay idea...just...add description :3

This one has the same problems as your others. You need to write out actual scenes, three or four words a page doesn't really cut it.

Pay more attention to your spelling and grammar as well, there's just no excuse for the number of mistakes here considering there's probably less than 500 words in the entire game.