Player Comments on Riddles

Improvements necessary

Well, simply put, that was terrible.

I don't remember this being posted previously but er...grammar and punctuation still needs quite a bit of work and if this is the 'extended' version it's still less than a thousand words.

I mean, just taking the first paragraph:

'A fourteen year old girl was founded murdered in the backyard last night her name was Jesseka Ackerman,the investigators sees a nail gun next to her .But there are no signs of the nails outside her body.Police takes her body and has her go through autopsy.'

I'm not getting the sense a lot of time and certainly not any time spent proofreading went into this. Imperator's suggestion of just taking some time to get a handle on the basic technical aspects of writing is probably the best idea for now. www.grammarly.com/handbook would be one site to browse, but there are free resources all of the internet. Simple reading more books or asking a parent or teacher for help would also be useful.

Keep practicing of course, but something like a few regular short stories might be a more useful way for you to focus on the writing directly. As it is right now I have a feeling publishing more stuff to the site will just be discouraging for you since it will likely wind up removed.

Okay I'll remember that thanks

I think you should probably work more on your written English before attempting to write another piece. Also, in general, a space is left after the use of a comma (,) or full stop (.)