Player Comments on Shallow Heart: Maybe I'll be okay.

Okay, yes, real books do come in series. But you know what? Each book in a series is a complete story in and of itself. This is promising, but it is incomplete. Just make it available for sneak preview if you need feedback, and wait until you have a finished story to publish.

It was ok, there were a few grammar mistakes and it wasn't as detailed as I feel it should have been, but the story was good and the characters are interesting, and I personally feel that this should be compacted down into just one story, most people don't enjoy waiting for sequels, that's one reason I wait until an entire series of books is out before I read them, I don't want to get to a cliff hanger and have to wait, kinda like how you are making us wait. When your next story comes out I will read it and then, depending on how much I like it, I will decide if I agree with your decision about this making this a series.

Should have made it longer :(

Because I wanted to?

Why so short?

Thank you, Will! I understand, I was planning on adding to it. I will add more the 'brother relationship' as much as I can. I think my story was much better than it was on my first time.

That was very good writing but why the sudden ending? You've written an excellent opening to a story then it just STOPS, the brother's problems and the relationship need to be explored further. I think you should write the whole complete story, if you do then I think it'll be pretty good :D