Player Comments on Sora (Chapter 1)

Um... first before I forget: "He told me, taking another sip of his tea with grace and I was so memorized." What exactly does the last part mean?

Okay, moving on. Grammar. I caught a few mistakes here and there (the above quoted sentence actually contains a mistake—missing comma), but it doesn't completely destroy coherency, so that's good.

I really, really like the idea of the story! It went along smoothly and nicely, and it was very enjoyable. However... don't post sections/demos. Most people don't really like them... but if you just HAVE to, at least include "part of a series" as a tag.

I like how the story picks up and runs, but hate how it ends suddenly at the end of Chapter 1. Please expand! *eagerly awaits* This storygame has A LOT of potential!

I really don't like the choice of using (your name) throughout to indicate the player's name. Just pick a name.
Also, it falls into the common VN trap of "one choice locks you onto a path."
There are a lot of grammatical errors, even in the description. "One of the girls are a bisexual?"

Hard to understand bc the story jumps so much.

Good story in my opinion so far. Grammatical errors here and there, but it's pretty interesting.

Ok story. But I HATE drafts and previews.

Nice concept, but you should proofread your stories. Did Alexander die his russet hair dark brown?

It was interesting, but hopefully a lot more will be explained in the following chapters. Also, hopefully as the player chooses different love intrusts there will be slightly different story pathways that aren't just death or next scene.

Please continue!!! :D I relly am excited now for more chapters even if there is bugs here and there in the story choices. But either way i enjoyed it nonless so keep up the good work ;)

(I hope we can interact with Nathan soon!)

Confusing, full of holes, and ridiculously unexplained.

Other than that, just wonderful. I feel like I was cheated.