Player Comments on Sweetie, It's Time to Die

Sorry, guys! Didn't know WHAT I was thinking! :P. I'll unpublish and get to at least the library scene which is a good way into the story. Then you guys can play up till that and I'll see what you think, make some changes if necessary, and finish the full story by Thanksgiving! After the full thing is published, though, I will continue to make updates to make it even more fun and enjoyable! So sorry for any inconvenience, I'll unpublish right now!

Your writing style is great. I was excited about this game for the few pages of you gave us before throwing out an End Game and Leave Comments link.

It's good to be excited about making a new story, and I realize a lot of people make demos to get a rough idea of how others are going to react to the story idea, but it's generally not a good thing to do. You've got a promising start - I recommend unpublishing this and working on it until it's complete before publishing it once more. A lot of raters on this site have a rule of thumb where an unfinished story never gets rated any higher than a 3, no matter how well-written.

I think I should recommend this for deletion. It isn't a story; it CERTAINLY isn't a game.

I'll refrain from rating for now, but my advice is to change your story to either "unpublished" or in preview mode if you want others to proofread it. The story sounds interesting so far and your grammar is well enough, but so far, there IS NO STORY, and it's bringing your story low scores.

I must say, you have a phenomenal writing style!

And I'm a bit sad that this is alpha, but it's very good. May I suggest that you fully complete the game before publishing it, so we can see the whole story before us.

I look forward to more from you, and:

Keep writing!

Protip: Don't release alpha/unreleased/demo versions of your game, for obvious reasons.

2/8, just because it was pretty well-written for it's first few pages.

It is still developing. I just wanted to start Alpha testing to see what people think of the plot so far. I know it isn't finished, it is just a test. Once Beta comes out, THEN it will be more like a game. Sorry for any confusion...

It's well written, but it isn't a game yet. You shouldn't publish unfinished stories.

For these reasons, I have given it a 1/8. This isn't a storygame. It's not even a story.

This is still in development, so please don't judge too hard, kay? I hope you guys like the plot so far, and the next update will come out shortly! Thank you for playing!