Player Comments on The Joy

This was a story, not a game. There weren't any proper choices and I felt that nothing I did choose made any effect at all. The concept is good, however. I recommend you add more detail on the 'disease' and what was going on. I mean, how did the character know what it was, and the names for the different things? How did she know it was less effective on adults? You could maybe have her find a book or see a news report on the information. I am assuming the 'rainclipse' was the cause of the disease, so maybe she can find out about this in some way? Maybe the character sees a later news report of people saying what is going on?

It was very linear and I feel that there is a lot more you can add. However, your grammar and concept was good. 3/8.

While it isn't much of a game, I love the concept and the writing is well structured.

The story is quite well written- but it's a story, not a game. There are very few choices, and they don't seem to affect the plotline. Even if there's only one "true" ending to the story, multiple paths with significant differences make the game replayable.
If it's a choice that could lead to an endgame, try to give the reader the chance to deduce which option is correct- rather than letting them die by pure chance.
If you're going to use items, please give them pictures instead of just the default icon. Also, I'd suggest not telling the reader when to use the item- let them figure it out.

Please let me know how I can improve this game! I know that it is not very interactive, but I appreciate your support and I wish to evolve this made-in-my-spare-time-because-I-was-bored game into an oh-my-gosh-this-is-such-a-good-game game. Please let me know how this could be made into a more fun and interactive game and I'll see you next time!

The story in itself was good. Kept the reader engrossed and thrilled. Your writing style is good too, fluid and dramatic, perfect for a story writer. However the problem with this story was it was not a choose your adventure story game. It was just a story. The whole story had only two instances of options and that too in the first instance the options didn't make much difference. Best of luck with your next stories.

That was actually fairly well done. I also have respect to the author for rating his/her own game a 5/8 instead of 8/8 just to comment.

Let me know if it can be improved! Thank you!