Player Comments on The Murderous Masseur

Nice suspense and a nice ending which you can add more to later.

This was really good, with only a few grammatical errors. Personally, I loved it and I would definitely suggest it to others.

Noice

I really enjoyed the game.

This was a well created game. Some of the text on the pages was very long, and it took a while to read. Also, this game wasn’t that difficult, too be honest, and required mostly common sense in a way in my opinion. Overal though, a fun story.

Dude seriously use a spell checker. Spelling errors all over the place.

This was actually pretty interesting. Few grammar errors here and there, but did not detract from story. It was a good mystery, nice job ??

I really wish this had been proof read and edited. There's a solid story here with some decent writing, but encountering so many spelling and punctuation errors throughout the entire thing was frustrating.

I'd recommend the author check the Grammarly link in my profile for a crash course in how dialogue is meant to be punctuated in particular. That's something that always seems to trip people up and this story is no exception. (And though this is more subjective, I'd tone it down a little on the actual dialogue tags too. A simple 'he said' is all that's needed 90% of the time. When you start getting into odd descriptors like 'he patronized' or over-rely on adverbs with things like 'he suggested sadly' you're usually telling instead of showing, and it's a distraction that weakens your writing.)

Anyway, as I said this was pretty well written, and definitely a sign of a lot of promise from a first time author, though the plot was unfortunately pretty much entirely linear. I feel like it's got to be some kind of crime against mystery fiction to spell out who the killer is in both the title and description as well. Still I hope to see more stories from this author, and I expect they'll improve as they continue writing.