Player Comments on The WorldWalker

I'm sorry for some reason the endings that I typed out didn't show up I saw a comment saying something about it and I knew I put them there so I played through a couple of the failed endings and I don't know why there not there sorry I'll try to fix that in part 2 and 3 thanks for pointing it out

Oh good it's a part 1 of something :) How many more parts until we get the whole story? I like the imagination and creativity you put into this and the fantasy setting is decent enough but this story is difficult to read because the text is all jumbled together.

How about some spacing like this?

Your grammar and sentence structures could use some work but I didn't spot too many spelling errors. If it's your first story that's all the more reason to take the time to ensure it's error-free. Do not be discouraged though: there is some good strong writing here. It seems your creativity wants to translate from your mind to the page so quickly that it's rushing out in a jumble. It's boring but when you've finished go back and double-check the presentation, it's not a fun job but your readers will thank you :)

Your punctuation and grammar needs some work. Sometimes, it was so awful that I could hardly understand what you're trying to tell the reader. Also, I found quite a number of unexpected end game links (In which you end the game with a link that doesn't clearly state that it's an end game link, rather than adding a new page describing why the game ended and then placing an end game link on that page). Overall, this game is just a mess. 2/8