Player Comments on Where am i? 0.0

This could actually be a decent little story, if you'd bothered to proofread it. Terrible spelling, grammar, run-on sentences, and other issues make it difficult to read.
The background could use more explanation as well. There's a lot of totally interchangeable, ill-defined characters (who all seem to have names ending in "y") who all (I guess?) know each other, and suddenly start narrating the backstory to one another. It feels like you, the author, know what this story is about- but you didn't do a very good job explaining it to the reader.
The overall impression I get is that you were in a tremendous rush to write and publish this as quickly as possible.

It was good but why do you not remember who you are does not make sense????
sincerly, 24freddy

Slightly incoherent, messy quotations. I would recommend that you check the punctuations in all of your quotations and have someone else check them. It would also be in your best interests to flesh out the story a little, adding some more details to help the reader understand. I gave your story a 4/8, but if you make some changes, please feel free to pm me and I will rate it again.

The poor grammar in parts made the story annoying to read. You fall into lapses of not using periods or capitalizing the first word of a new sentence. This is elementary grammar, and it shows you rushed the process.