Player Comments on Awesomeland - The Adventure Begins

This game's maturity level is misleading. I thought this was a game for kids to be honest.

Alright, i'll start with my criticism now.

The thing that I hate about most stories is that the first page doesn't hook me at all. It is the foundation of your storygame! At least you make up for it by making your game interesting.

Second, this game is... random. I understand that it may be the whole point but you didn't do a fine job being random. This game's idea wasn't really thought out and every option on the game is random.

Here's my third point. I gone through about 4 endings and realized that this game is so linear. So much end game and leave comments links that your story ends in 3 clicks or so. I gave up trying to find the other endings because i'm sure that the game will end suddenly.

The fourth point? The maturity level. How is this game a choking hazard for children under 4 if it includes swearing?

The fifth point? The description says that this game is a serious funny storygame. There's clearly a difference between a game with random choices and a funny serious story with a plot. It's simply too random to be considered a story at all! A story have a well thought plot and not just random choices.

Here are some positives:

The author of this story did a good job putting details into this story. At least you didn't make this story boring. The only problem is the slightly random first page.
-- Plelb on 1/21/2017 11:01:09 AM
Good story. My only complaint is that it said it was G when it was more like PG-13.
-- Morganis on 9/5/2016 8:06:55 PM
a good game, but it was pretty short
-- thebigE on 4/23/2016 3:59:21 PM
It was weird and funny, definitely random in a good way. However, the language was a bit much, especially for something that's supposed to be okay for children over 4. It made the story hard to enjoy. The difficulty, length and maturity aren't set right.
Still, it was well written and, like I said, funny. It was pretty good.
-- Ninja_Kirby on 4/11/2016 8:59:57 PM
WHATTT?!?!? It was just getting so good and funny and it stops. I'm so sad, but i can't wait for Chapter 2. Good Job!
-- CurseOfTime on 12/16/2015 10:07:38 PM
Are you kidding me? It was so good, and then, wait for Chapter two? What is this nonsense? Why not just write the whole thing?
-- Corgi213 on 9/4/2015 9:48:11 PM
Awesomeness has it
-- nickshetty on 8/15/2015 11:00:28 AM
What the wha-???
-- TheMonitor on 7/17/2015 12:24:37 AM
It's a good start, but why post a story without an ending. Take this down, complete the story and then repost this so people can read a full story and not a work in progress
-- Jordi P on 7/14/2015 11:57:08 AM
this is really bad
-- sam on 4/25/2015 8:42:02 AM
Fun! I liked not having to make a map for one thing, which can get pretty tiresome. My only regret is that this game was not longer. Keep up the good work :)
-- Wavyhill on 1/22/2015 1:38:14 AM
that was extremely random. god job solider. *salutes*
-- Stormpearldamagnificent on 7/2/2014 8:57:38 PM
short
-- required on 6/25/2014 8:58:09 PM
...You watch too much Adventure Time.

That is all.
-- someguy1294 on 3/9/2014 12:18:05 AM
Like all random stories, this uses slightly too many trochees.

http://xkcd.com/856/
-- vladimir262 on 6/21/2013 12:07:45 PM
I laughed hard. That's a good thing, right?
-- Rainbowsmash1998 on 5/31/2012 11:25:20 PM
I loved it, im a sucker for random things XD nice work^_^ is there a sequelllll :D?
-- ChaiHai on 9/30/2011 5:44:51 AM
Scary. LOL. Good.
-- Killer999 on 9/20/2011 2:44:37 PM
Bit random, but the result is random but it still follows some logic. It's a good random, as in rather unexpected but beleivable.
-- bradhal on 9/14/2011 5:41:22 PM
When you make a random story, there still needs to be a bit of depth, at least in the beginning, to get your readers hooked. 4/8
-- ThisisBo on 7/19/2011 11:17:55 AM
um, weird. i didn't understand the storyline at all.
-- fergie14233 on 11/28/2010 4:33:34 PM
You never gave me any reason to care at all about my character, so naturally I didn't. This felt too random and ridiculous to really entertain me.
-- JJJ-thebanisher on 10/27/2010 1:26:50 AM
Hey there. I know you wanted this story to be great. It wasn't the worst. I would have liked more options as I got to the end, it ended abruptly, well for me at least. Your not a bad author, and you just need work. But overall, just keep trying. The fact I saw a play length of 5 made me interested. Keep up the long games! Get them longer!
-- mr.xcentrix on 10/26/2010 8:06:44 PM
Hello Face Champion! I certainly hope you weren't planning on telling of the exploits of Lavabeard without including your stalwart brother in arms in the tale... It might hazardous for you if you know what I mean... Uppercut into the sun hazardous...

Typhoon Mountainpuncher and Face Champion must join forces to fight this menace. I trust you will take my words to heart.
-- Typhoon Mountainpuncher on 10/17/2010 2:48:40 PM
I love Awesomeland! Can't wait for the rest of the story to see how it unfolds! Great work!
-- Jared on 10/17/2010 10:47:57 AM
Entertaining and well-written. I'm looking forward to chapter 2, but you should make it longer.
-- Sunshine on 10/17/2010 4:17:58 AM
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