Plelb, The Reader

Member Since

11/3/2016

Last Activity

3/26/2017 8:19 AM

EXP Points

63

Post Count

167

Storygame Count

0

Duel Stats

25 wins / 38 losses

Order

Infrangible Warden

Commendations

20

No Profile Entered 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sore wa chigao yo! (No that's wrong!)

Hello there person that visited my tacky profile! My name is Plelb, but you can call me Plelb. I'm just this ordinary dude that doesn't really do much and tends to be such a slow writer that nothing gets finished. You're probably gonna get bored while reading this won't cha? Well, here are some random facts about me.

Favorite games: None. I prefer stories.

Currently watching: Soul Eater, Spongebob Squarehead, Your death noted, Sword Art Online, Your Mom.

Friends on this site: People and genderless robots

Current storygames I may or may not be working on because i'm really lazy: Wandering Souls
 

Whispers of Hell
You play as a not so ordinary fairy names Rayen. For some reason, she gets pulled into the underworld because her turf got invaded by beings. More details soon... 

Actually just check out my storygames below, i'm too lazy to write it down on this profile. 

OH WAIT!

I'll really be joining and completing the March contest this time. Especially since I'll be bettin' really high. I'll go find a rival for now so that I may be motivated.

Current Rivals: Mr/s. Minnie the King (MinnieKing), Banning Lord (BannerLord)

How to beat the rival based on past experience (MinnieKing): Hmm... this is a hard one. Minnie is quite a fast writer, basing it on quantity instead of quality. However, the problem is that  Minnie tends to start small and work his way up. A problem I need to beat. Also, he's quite good at distracting you. 

How to beat the rival based on past experience (BannerLord): Oh no! The Generic Banner has been making more banners to welcome the newbs of Cystia. I must beat him by welcoming all of the newbs before he gets there, because if I don't, I will die. That and the fact that I need to beat a banner maker due to the fact that I'm just a number. I wonder why many people in Cystia make their profile names similar to objects anyways...

 

Storygames

The Lights of Liberation
unpublished

Summary of the story:

Oh no! You need to pass your project about the expeditions made by people in Asia, America, Europe, and so much more. Of course, the deadline is after 2 days and you always do things at the eleventh hour. It looks like you have to read your history book for the assignment...

“History is always written by the winners. When two cultures clash, the loser is obliterated, and the winner writes the history books-books which glorify their own cause and disparage the conquered foe. As Napoleon once said, 'What is history, but a fable agreed upon?” - Dan Brown, The Da Vinci Code

There are numerous endings and paths depending on what you do for your essay and your choices as the explorers. Remember, You are able to completely rewrite history so the information in this edutainment isn't accurate. Could you achieve all the endings?

Extremely Important:

If you reach certain endings, you could play as some more explorers that isn't from Spain, Portugal, or Europe. Those explorers are simply added to your essays to get bonus points for your assignment. Do note that your choices can affect the life of those explorers.

Additional Notes:

This story is geared for kids around 10-13 years old despite it having a broad vocabulary. If you don't understand a word in this story, simply look it up on Google!

This story is a last minute entry for the January 2017 contest. I need to write about 200 pages per day if I want to make this work!


The Sinner's Nightmare
unpublished , coauthor

"I look around once again and observe my damned chamber. I twirl around like a ballerina and laugh. Oh, this is what feels like. To be truly free, one has to be imprisoned. A man cannot be tied to earthly desires. Nothing must pull him down. He has to love nothing but himself. I twirl round and round dancing to the beat of my heart. I laugh in my rasping voice. Soon, I grow dizzy and the walls revolve before my eyes.

I fall to the ground and graze my skin on the sharp rock. I close my eyes and listen to the laughter. I listen to the cries of pain. The sound is intoxicating. It is mesmerizing. One has not lived when he has not heard a man beg for his life.

I open my eyes again and I observe that the walls have changed. They have turned into steel and they are closing around me. The walls grow closer and closer. I open my arms and I smile. Death is coming. I long for it. But alas. It is not to be. I blink for a moment only to find that the walls have vanished before my eyes. Iron has replaced it. I am now in an iron cage. I am the iron beast. Man is a beast. No matter how much he hates to admit it, man is a beast!"

 

Man is flawed. Man is a monster. Man is madness. Man will pay for his crimes.

But, man must know, man must believe that in the midst of darkness and pain, there is always hope. There is always light.

 

Note: There are two paths in this story. The path of truth and the path of lies. There are several different endings in this tale. On second thought, scratch all that and just know this. This story is a little madness written by the madman in me?


Wandering Souls
unpublished

 Summary of the story:

You, the protagonist are suffering from your inner demons. Inner demons that often cause you harm and when intense, no emotions at all. Just because of the past, all your emotions have been put into the void, unable to break free. Your time has become weary, confusing, and pointless. There is absolutely no point in doing anything in your life as, for a hundred years, most people born today will die anyways. Most of the time, you just sit on your bed, wishing those inner demons would go away... but they don't... nor will they ever. If a miracle happens than it's a different story but... maybe they weren't supposed to, but maybe because such a 'miracle' doesn't exist. As the emptiness in your soul wraps around your body, just a lone thought in your mind arises. What if you're able to fully immerse yourself in the past and... through small deeds change yourself in the present. However, an opportunity to change the world presents itself to you, will you be taking this shot or will you miss?

Special Thanks To and Cameos:

MinnieKing - The author of numerous books, and only one is decent enough to be published.
StrykerL-
StillWatersRunDeep-

Additional notes:

Please do note that this is my first storygame that I plan to complete and finish so constructive criticism is really appreciated.

If you're stuck on the first page, click the title of the storygame on the top.

Images and GIFS in this story are 'borrowed' from Google than slightly altered to fit the needs of a CYOA about your inner demons.

The prologue and the first half of chapter one has lacking choices because of the fact that the theme, depression wraps around you just like vines. This shall be considered a cutscene.

Lastly, I would like to dedicate these to the people mentioned in the cameos.

WARNING: This story deals with some very dark matters such as Depression and OCD. This is a presentation of what would happen if this were to occur to you but be wary as this isn't completely accurate and some people aren't that lucky. If you are having any personality disorders or feel extreme sadness than play at your own risk.

Hold it! Before you are allowed to play, I would like to let you know that this is an entry for the Chaos Contest.

(Inspired by the anime, Mirai Nikki/Future Diary)


Recent Posts

Hiiiiiiiiii on 3/26/2017 3:08:13 AM

A young author eh? At least you know how to incorporate punctuation and spelling into your posts, not sure about your name though. Also, don't do spammy lettering or punctuation. They're incredibly annoying.

Anyways, here's some text:

Hello and welcome to Cystia! Good luck on your writing and future endeavors. Here, have a few inspirational stories!

If you have any questions about this site, feel free to PM me, or any other member for help. This might be obvious, but never give out personal information, or your password to anyone on this site. It would also be a good idea to take a glance at the Help & Info section of the forums, particularly in the awesome articles made by other site members! These is a good starter article, as it displays numerous helpful information at this site, and can be counted as an archive.

Before you go on submerge yourself further in the reading or writing world, you must read this article that shows proper forum etiquette. I highly advise you do this to avoid potential fights. Remember, do not feed the troll!

Lastly, have this beautiful face to 'inspire' you.

Thomas The Train


Draw My Attention (Age of Apples) on 3/25/2017 1:29:33 AM

Recommending my comments for featuring

On http://chooseyourstory.com/story/jack-and-jill-live-on-2

1.) This story... is bad. I haven't seen the first story you made, but I assume that it's really bad which is why it got deleted. Well, here are my opinions on your story. 

I admit, you put more effort into this story, but it still feels lacking in a way. You put in effort into this, as more than one sentence is put into a page, and there is dialogue that isn't ridiculous. It has a sense of realism, despite being a fantasy adventure. However, your story still has flaws. 

The one I noticed the most is that your story suffers from the "You" trap for second-person storygames. You should add more variety when using pronouns, and not start most of your sentences with you. 

Description. This story lacks details, but first let's look at the description of your story. This is your description: 

Hey Guys. This is the second parts of the story. All your comments were really helpful, so yah, ill try to make it longer. *Has worried expression*. 

Alright so this part will start with you being with Jack, cause I need him as a character. 

Have fun!!! 

Don't do that, it makes you look like you put no effort at all in your stories. The words, yah, and the shorter version of because makes this story feel... like it's not made by a serious author. It's not even proofread, and there is some grammatical errors in your description. 

Anyways, back to the topic. Your story, though has adjectives, still feels lacking. You just mention random details, and you don't even describe them. It feels like you're making a random choice. 

Remember, each and every story can still be improved, no matter how good their story is. I wish you luck on your next story! 

Oh, you want to know my rating? It's a 3 for effort.

-- Plelb on 3/25/2017 12:44:46 AM

On http://chooseyourstory.com/story/adventures-of-a-normal-man

2.) 

This game is actually pretty good, despite having numerous errors. 

Here's a tip of advice for you, let someone else proofread this game for you. If you're not good at English, it's alright. Still, each story has to be revised for quality, and you can ask for help from the wonderful members on this site for help. 

Onto my review!

This game is a nice attempt for your first game, even though it suffers from errors. Your use of the advanced editor seems proficient enough, but you need more experience, particularly in scripting. You can exploit the game and get some things for free, without the necessary items to get them.

Your use of humor seems to be fine, although it's still random and randomness usually doesn't work in stories. This story is no exception, as there was an instance where if you don't follow the narrator, you get killed by random reasons.

The problem is... although this story was of decent length, it ended abruptly. That makes this storygame a part 1 or a demo essentially, but it seems complete enough to not be qualified as an incomplete game. 

If you were to make a part 2, make sure it's proofread for quality and is complete. There is a path I took that is incomplete, which is the Fine path, and I hope that you complete it.

My rating is 4 for fine.

-- Plelb on 3/25/2017 1:27:55 AM with a score of 0


hello on 3/24/2017 11:34:58 AM

I guess I would just say that I get your point. I don't want to derail this thread any further.


hello on 3/24/2017 11:29:26 AM

Well, it doesn't matter in the first place. 4 letters isn't enough for me to know what that person intends to do. Does he need advice? Does he just want to introduce himself? No one can really tell, even if that person is trying to say hello but failed miserably. Clarity is everything Minnie.


hello on 3/24/2017 11:14:26 AM

Hello and welcome to CYSti... You are not worth my welcome message. I will call you out now, alternate account. Stop while you're at it. I spammed annoying alts once and the community doesn't like it, so stop while you can. However, if you aren't an alternate account, let me give you my advice. Incorporate proper spelling, syntax, and punctuation in your posts. You are able use the shift key, as shown by your first game:

spirit animal(not fan based)
unpublished
In this story you will play as a spirit animal to a new adventurer
This my first story so please give advice on how to fix it if problems occur


Hi! on 3/24/2017 10:49:44 AM

Hey, @CrescentStar, don't join in our rivalry! Well... it was a rivalry until Banner stole all my links like a cheater. Anyways, here's my welcome message!
--------
 

Hello and welcome to Cystia! Good luck on your writing and future endeavors. Here, have a few inspirational stories!

If you have any questions about this site, feel free to PM me, or any other member for help. This might be obvious, but never give out personal information, or your password to anyone on this site. It would also be a good idea to take a glance at the Help & Info section of the forums, particularly in the awesome articles made by other site members! These is a good starter article, as it displays numerous helpful information at this site, and can be counted as an archive.

Before you go on submerge yourself further in the reading or writing world, you must read this article that shows proper forum etiquette. I highly advise you do this to avoid potential fights. Remember, do not feed the troll!

Lastly, have this beautiful face to 'inspire' you.

Thomas The Train


Yet another one... on 3/24/2017 12:40:47 AM

Hello and welcome to CYStia! I have two pieces of advice for you.

One, don't use comic sans. It's obnoxious!

Two, Good luck on your future endeavors!


Another Noob....*Sigh* (You know you thought it):P on 3/21/2017 2:05:51 AM

Hello and welcome to CYStia! I would welcome you with my welcome message, but I have to work on my Chaos entry. @BannerLord will welcome you, eventually...


Dialoque in poetry? on 3/16/2017 6:20:02 AM

I have an idea for a 'boss' in one of my fantasy storygames which involves 'breaking the fourth wall' and it involves changing the story to a poetic form. The problem is, dialoque is the foundation of a story and I can't do a 'boss' fight without it. I'm pretty sure that poetry rarely involves dialoque but instead, it revolves around the imagery and other figures of speech but in this case, dialoque is required.

Here are a few questions I have just in case dialoque is possible. If the poem starts with a rhyming scheme, must the dialoque be in a rhyming scheme too? Does the dialoque have to be in a stanza, or should it be in a sentence? If I need to make another stanza, should I put another quotation mark if the same person is speaking or just put the quotation mark at the end of both stanzas? Is there any alternative ways I can make a character say something without involving dialoque? This feels like a stupid question... but just to be sure right?

I shall show a two stanzas if dialoque is possible, please correct my mistakes:

"Be quiet you insolent fool!
I am the best, and the most supreme,
Even if you call me cruel...
I will beat you, by using the unseen." 

"I'll use my power to change your path,
Slowly making the world feel my wrath.
My body invigorated and your life, 
complicated,
I will make this section of thy battle... separated." 

PS: I am not good at all in poetry so please excuse my stupidity.


Hi me is new on 3/16/2017 4:09:45 AM

Cough, cough, your story is still unpublished or got unpublished. Well, next time try to actually put effort into your story games, and put an end game link! 

Anyways, here's my message I will paste to this individual, I don't want to meddle with you anymore.

Hello and welcome to Cystia! Good luck on your writing and future endeavors. Here, have a few inspirational stories!

If you have any questions about this site, feel free to PM me, or any other member for help. This might be obvious, but never give out personal information, or your password to anyone on this site. It would also be a good idea to take a glance at the Help & Info section of the forums, particularly in the awesome articles made by other site members! These is a good starter article, as it displays numerous helpful information at this site, and can be counted as an archive.

Before you go on submerge yourself further in the reading or writing world, you must read this article that shows proper forum etiquette. I highly advise you do this to avoid potential fights. Remember, do not feed the troll!

Lastly, have this beautiful face to 'inspire' you.

Thomas The Train