Player Comments on Forensic Toxicology
Pretty solid game. I was actually invested in solving the murder. The author clearly has a solid understanding of forensic toxicology lol. Also, it's cool to see Ontario being represented in some CYS games.
I only have a few complaints. The first is that there wasn't really much in the way of character development. With something like this, obviously, narrative and characters take a back seat to the subject matter, but it was a little dry.
The second is a bit of a nitpick, but whatever; the "convict" option isn't really representative of how the court system works. A forensic expert wouldn't be able to unilaterally convict someone; the accused's defence council could hire their own expert, who would detect your fuckup. This could still be a bad ending; maybe your career gets damaged because you wasted the taxpayer's money.
The third is an easy fix. A lot of your dialogue tags are wrong. There are commas and periods all over the place. Review this article, please. https://thewritepractice.com/dialogue-tags/
Otherwise, that's a really solid game, and something to be proud of.
on 1/19/2018 12:30:15 AM with a score of 0
Impressive for a first story. You clearly did all your homework with the science jargon.
Can't wait for your next story!
on 1/27/2018 2:02:59 PM with a score of 0
Page 35 is unfinished or just screwed up
on 1/19/2018 1:25:03 AM with a score of 0
Good job for a first story, you seem to have done your homework with all the chemicals and tests.
Are there meant to be links on page thirty five?
I hope to see more from you.
on 1/19/2018 12:15:47 AM with a score of 0