Player Comments on Maintenance Systems

Spoilers Ahead

People may have seen me write a few reviews, but I thought I would rate storygames better as I progressed through this boredom phase on CYS. Okay, enough with that, This is an edutainment storygame about Biology, and some of the functions of the cardiorespiratory system (which is the heart and lungs). So, here's my thoughts on this:

Education Value: 2/8
The storygame does explain a few things on this, but not fully. The entire storygame is a quiz with two right answers. If you get a question wrong, the "Biology Man" briefly explains the correct answer, but nothing beyond that. Nothing completely infuriating, but the author should've explained more past the death pages. Could've had a higher rating if those changes are made.

Entertainment Value: 4/8
Besides the education value, the entertainment value was nearly decent. The good writing makes readers actually engaged in the plot, and that brings in a lot of enjoyment for me. But, since this story is very short, there is nothing else entertaining. The deaths were unpredictable, but the protagonist died nearly the same ways throughout the quiz. The plot is good enough since this is an edutainment game, but would be rated worse if this was any other genre.

Plot Mechanics: 3/8
The plot mechanics were okay, but again, I would've rated this worse if this was another genre. People were engaged in the plot: There was a character who had to study for a biology test, and he has a dream where he is quizzed on Biology. This all makes sense, until things get very infuriating once you get to the end. Why did the character die if it was all just a dream? Is it really the end of the world if the protagonist chose not to study for biology? and why does his wishes magically come true if you do? I barely studied for Biology, and I aced all my quizzes and my End of year test. The plot doesn't make sense near the end. The Biology Man was a guy who has a passion for biology, and that's it. Why does he have such a passion? His reasons for making a quiz is good since it's a dream, but everything else, I need explanations.

Grammar: 3/8
The writing for this storygame was alright. It does engage the reader into the plot, and I see no grammatical errors. However, does not explain a few things in the story. What is the room the protagonist is in in that dream? what did it look like? And who was the politician who took control of the world at the bad ending? Was it the Biology Man? Was it Ron DeSantis? Was it Hitler? Again, the story needs to explain a few things to me, as it fails to explain crucial parts to the story.

Gameplay: 3/8
The gameplay and branching are okay. You do decide the decisions of the protagonist, but nothing else special. The game is a boring quiz, and you die if you get the wrong answer. The end of the game does branch out a bit, like studying for your biology test or not, but nothing else special. I appreciate the author for making more than one ending, but there can be so much more that can be done.

In conclusion, this is just an average edutainment game, one done for school. Storygames with this purpose are only focused on their teacher's demands, not the enjoyment of the community. I don't think the author will care about this since it's extra credit and nothing else. Overall, is not the worst Edutainment i've seen, but still needs work to each a 'decent' tier.

Final Rating: 3/8

Hmm, wasn't really a story but this was certainly an interesting quiz :) I liked the humor for the most part, and the questions weren't too difficult (at least for me...)

This was good for a refresher and the deaths were amusing. However, I don't think this kind of thing would be for everyone. Not that this wasn't enjoyable for me to play, as I find it a bit fun to test my logic sometimes.

You obviously have a very creative mind and good sense of humor. I wouldn't mind seeing these things applied to create a intriguing adventure next time. I certainly think that you'd be able to create something rather interesting.

While this wasn't much of a story, it wasn't bad to play and was actually rather entertaining. The humor was done well and this was a useful game in brushing up on my knowledge. So a game that's able to be both funny and educating gets a thumbs up from me.

How do I start… this story is kind of exactly as the description says. It is a biology quiz with a crazy biology man.

The good: The questions had variety and you tried to set questions that were relevant to your topic. There was actually a little background information to the quiz.

The problem is, this is a choose-your-story site instead of a quiz site. Instead of dying immediately whenever you refuse or get a question wrong, maybe you could have some varying paths that still require you to complete the quiz in some way or other. For example, if you refuse to play the game, the biology man can pretend to let you go, but as you escape you find out that there is a maze outside that requires you to answer most of the questions correctly. Besides, you could have more answer options if you want it to be a multiple choice quiz. Although almost all choose-your-stories work with two choices on each page, that doesn’t mean you can’t include more to make the quiz more challenging. Maybe you could also make a path which you join in the biology man’s passion for biology and become the next biology man.

The grammar and spelling was mostly satisfactory, although some sentences were strange or did not flow smooth enough, along with quite some typos, like ‘Boilogy’.

I know this is just an extra credit assignment, but I’m still going to rate it like any other edutainment storygame on the site, so it will be a 2/8 for me.

Based on the amount of SPAG issues I would have given a 2, but the sheer humor of the storyline made me raise that rating to a 3.

I acutally enjoyed this, despite having no knowledge of biologoy at all. 10/10

It was a fun little quiz, I liked how you also put the twist of making a maniac tell you the questions. good read.

It was a good way to disguise a game as an educational quiz. It was good as a side project and probably can stand as a game. Good job

Interesting deaths :)

To say it's slightly more fun than homework is the most accurate rating since at it's core this is homework with a framing story, lol. It's okay for a quiz I guess. there were a couple of spelling errors but other wise an okay attempt. Maybe a little more story to go with it Like what motivates Biology Man, give him a tragic past or something.

Not bad for what you were trying to do which I guess was make an interesting revision quiz :)

sorry for saying this, but it is bad