Will11, The Master Scrivener

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3/27/2017 12:29 PM

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Pre-Eminent Architect Exemplar


Golden Rule: Treat other people as you would want to be treated yourself. Thank you to everyone who takes the time to read and comment on my stories and have a great day :D I might be busy for a while and not on the site so much :) The Weekly Review will return at a future date. If anyone needs me for anything urgent just send me a pm :)

Trophies Earned

Earning 100 Points Earning 500 Points Earning 1,000 Points Earning 2,000 Points The weekly review. Having 5 Storygame(s) Featured Rated 94.9% of all Stories Given by BerkaZerka on 01/10/2017 - Love the Weekly Review and Quality Work! Given by EndMaster on 08/04/2015 - For continuing to put out quality work. Given by JJJ-thebanisher on 12/11/2016 - For incredible site contributions ranging from excellent stories to a measured forum presence. Given by Sethaniel on 08/05/2015 - As promised, awarded for "Hunting the Ripper," and elevating the Edutainment category in general-- not to mention your fabulous review skills. Given by Will11 on 01/15/2017 - Because it's mine :)


A Titanic Experience

You know the story and have probably seen the film; now you can experience what the disaster was really like for those who were there.

Authors Note: This story is about 90% historically accurate, every event and spoken word occurred in identical or similar form, though to prevent this becoming a comedy I had to change some of the speech (things like "I say old man, that is frightfully sporting" has become "That is very decent of you"). On the bright side you should not find Jack and Rose running around in this story :)


American Outlaws: The Dillinger Gang
It is 1933 and America is in its fourth year of Depression. There is widespread anger at the banks and at the forces of justice. Against this backdrop the charismatic and carefree John Dillinger has emerged to lead a gang of hardened bank robbers and killers in challenging the American Government and the newly-formed FBI. You are one of his gang who rob the wealthiest banks in the country to buy the best life has to offer. The forces of justice will relentlessly pursue you and it is only by surviving deadly gunfights and high-speed chases that you will be able to stay ahead of them... Author's Note: Though the next story in this series should be Butch Cassidy's Hole in the Wall Gang I decided to skip forward a bit and write about a smaller group operating in a different time than my previous two stories which were set in the Old West. Dillinger was one of the closest examples of a Robin Hood type criminal that America has yet produced and I hope the reader enjoys reading the story as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Featured Story American Outlaws: The James Gang

Jesse James was a lad that killed many a man / he robbed the Glendale train / he stole from the rich and he gave to the poor / he had a hand and a heart and a brain.

It was on a Saturday night and the moon was shining bright / they robbed the Glendale train / and people did say over many miles away / it was those outlaws Frank and Jesse James!

Now the people held their breath when they heard of Jesse's death / and wondered how he'd ever come to fall / Robert Ford, it was a fact, he shot Jesse in the back / While Jesse hung a picture on the wall...

In this story your name is Bill Grey and you are an outlaw, one of a desperate gang who have chosen to live outside the law. By robbing Yankee banks you can make more money in one day than you could make in ten years of work but at the cost that thousands of lawmen and law-abiding citizens everywhere will hunt you relentlessly, not stopping until you are brought to justice Dead or Alive! By surviving deadly gunfights and eluding pursuit with the help of your fellow outlaws your objective is to escape with your ill-gotten gains and live a life of luxury!

Author's Note: This is a little gift to the site to make up for the fact that The CYS Challenge isn't even a quarter finished yet and Magellan 5 is still in the planning stage. As always with my Edutainment stories it's about 90% true but events have been edited or simplified to make the story flow more easily and be more enjoyable. Incidentally my personal feelings about Jesse James and his companions is that history has been incredibly kind to men who shot defenseless people, stole the money of their countrymen and kept it all for themselves but the things he and others like Billy the Kid, John Dillinger et al did are so remarkable it's hard to keep from admiring their pure nerve :)

American Outlaws: The Wild Bunch

They were dueling Doolin-Dalton / High or low it was the same / Easy money and faithless women / Red eye whiskey for the pain.

Go down Bill Dalton, it must be God's will / Two brothers lying dead in Coffeyville / Two voices call you from where they stood / Lay down your law books now, they're no damn good.

Better keep on moving Doolin-Dalton / Till your shadow sets you free / If you're fast and if you're lucky / you will never see that hanging tree.

With a pistol in each hand, your horse's hooves drumming beneath you, the incessant bangs and whizzes of gunshots all around you, the shouts of angry men and the screams of the injured and dying ringing in your ears you roam the towns, plains and wilderness of the American Old West with your fellow outlaws: the daring Dalton boys, the King of the Oklahoma Outlaws Bill Doolin and all the other members of The Wild Bunch. Your mission is to get rich or die trying and if you are very clever and very lucky you might just live to enjoy your ill-gotten gains; if not... a weather-beaten cross in a dusty cemetery and your rusting pistol in a 21st century museum next to an old black and white photo of a bullet-riddled body will be your fate!

Author's Note: Following the (for me) surprisingly positive feedback on The James Gang I've decided to write the next story I had planned in that series, putting The CYS Challenge and Magellan 5 on hold for now. With a new cast of larger-than-life characters, more epic gunfights and daring robberies like it's predecessor this is the sort of story too unbelievable for fiction and absolutely incredible for being true! I sincerely hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it :)

Battlefield Commander: The Trojan War

In this story game you become a commander from ancient times, leading your brave warriors into the greatest battles of history! Your decisions will determine whether you and your men live or die as you fight with and against the greatest and worst commanders the world has ever known! Let the fight begin!

Author's Note: This is basically a test story-game to see if I can figure out the mechanics of this site well enough to deliver a respectable war simulation...

Climbing Beyond The Clouds

Can you be the first man to reach the summit of Mount Everest?

Authors Note: My last Edutainment game, I promise! It is Fantasy, Modern Adventure and Puzzles all summer now :D

Featured Story HOW NOT TO WRITE- A Pokemon Adventure - Part 1 - Chapter I - Section A: The Beginning of the Start

Rule 1: Unless your story is at least 100 pages long you shouldn't divide it into parts and pay some attention to choosing the correct Maturity, Difficulty and Tags for your story.

As I happen to be on holiday for the first time in about 900 years I've managed to write a little story game offering some examples I've brainstormed or seen recently in badly-written stories of how not to write. Like it's older cousin, The Land of Bad Writing, this story uses examples of bad writing as a way of showing how not to write and I don't have any one story in mind particularly in writing this, just practitioners of bad writing in general.

I've decided to base this story on Pokemon for no other reason than the fact Fan Fiction requires less creativity than most other styles of writing and because Pokemon reminds me of when I was a little Will11 and I, my ten brothers (all coincidently called Will as well) and my nine sisters (the Wilmas 1 to 9) would gather behind the nuclear waste and anthrax testing facility in the woods outside our little trailer park called Asbetos to trade black market Pokemon cards for Plutonium with a mixture of Gypsies, Elves and the Dutch... basically I'm writing about Pokemon because I'm feeling a little Nostalgic today :D

(Rule 1.5: Don't write lengthy and pointless descriptions offering fake autobiographies to your readers).

Featured Story Hunting the Ripper

"Jack the Ripper is dead / Jack the Ripper is dead / He's lying on his bed / Bleeding through his head / Jack the Ripper is dead" - A Victorian Children's Skipping Rope Song.

Death stalks the fog-shrouded streets of London as prostitutes are killed and mutilated in the darkness of the night... As a Private Detective working alongside Scotland Yard you will be faced with the most challenging adversary of your career, a man who's very name has become a byword for terror: Jack the Ripper. Are you smart enough to catch him?

BEWARE: This game is 200+ pages long and will take about 30-60 minutes to read through. Do not read if operating heavy machinery, juggling chainsaws or entertaining small children.

Author's Note: This story will require some thinking and the reader might want to make notes, though with a bit of cleverness and logic readers should be able to correctly identify the real Ripper. About 95% of the information in this story is historically accurate.  Finally as you'd probably guess a story about hunting someone who killed and mutilated prostitutes is not a feel-good family comedy, if you are under 13 I don't recommend that you read this. Certainly do not google "Jack the Ripper victims" if you suffer from nightmares :D

Magellan 1: Race into the Great Unknown

For hundreds of years your people have lived on The Three Islands completely surrounded by a vast impenetrable reef. Scientific advances and large amounts of gunpowder has finally allowed your people to breach this reef in two places, making accessible for the first time a vast unexplored world beyond your country's borders. The ten greatest sea captains of The Three Islands have been summoned by the King to take part in a great race: to be the first to sail around an unexplored world!
You are one of these Captains and an exciting adventure into the unknown awaits you!

Author's Note: My first foray into Fantasy for teenage readers! Inspired by the incredible first voyage around the world by Ferdinand Magellan if this story isn't universally detested it will be the first of a five-part series of adventures! I hope you enjoy it and as always, thank you for taking the time to read the semi-literate scribbles I like to call my writing :)

Magellan 2: Fight for Beliefs

The Great Reef has been breached and your people are pouring out into a vast new world: a world of opportunities, adventure... and danger.

Explorers and traders establishing new colonies on the islands discovered by you and your fellow sea-farers have come into conflict with warlike and deadly Natives and blood has been shed. In response Queen Anne-Marie has assembled a vast War Fleet to sail out to meet with these Natives and establish land ownership by diplomacy or force. As a member of this great expedition you will travel once more into an unknown and dangerous world in the greatest undertaking in your people's history... do you have what it takes?

Author's Note: This story can be read by itself but useful background information is provided by reading Magellan 1: Race into the Great Unknown first. In an effort to try to respond to the feedback of readers I have specifically tried to create a greater interaction between the strong-willed and unique personalities of you and your fellow Captains and also changed the main character's name from Cleo to Leo to make him more... manly. I hope you enjoy reading this :)

Magellan 3: Journey to New Horizons

As you country continue to expand beyond the borders of the Great Reef into the largely unknown world of Magellan worrying news arrives: Tobias Cuthrew, the greatest sailor your people have known, has vanished while on a voyage of exploration into the West. Once more your hard-hearted monarch Queen Anne-Marie demands your services, this time to lead an expedition to find your missing comrade. But is there more to this mission that meets the eye?

Author's Note: As always thank you to everyone who takes the time to read my stories and a larger thank you to the CYOA community at large for giving me a reason to write them in the first place :) I have specifically tried to make this story less linear than the last, with four main story branches.

Magellan 4: Search for Original Ideas

Betrayed by your Queen and hunted by her allies the situation looks bleak for you and your small band of allies. But opposition to tyranny takes many forms and from small beginnings and a few great ideas is it possible you could gain the weapons you need to defeat your enemies while simultaneously protecting your defenseless allies from the vengeance of your foes? Requiring all your ingenuity you are about to embark on the greatest fight of your career!

Author's Note: This fourth installment of the series is a bit longer and more difficult than its predecessors but it ties up quite a few loose threads ready for a big finish in Magellan 5. Thanks for everyone's feedback and support so far! Please be aware teenage readers and those of a low maturity this story is a bit more X Rated than earlier stories in the series as the relationship between Leo and Naomi is... improving :). Homophobes should probably steer clear of this story too :)

Featured Story The Donner Party

In this story-game you become a member of the Donner Party.
The Donner Party were a group of about 90 men, women and children who tried traveling to their new homes in California by an unfamiliar route across the Salt Lake Desert of Utah and the Sierra Nevada Mountains but met with enough misfortunes and suffering to kill half the group and leave the remainder scarred for the rest of their lives...

The Land of Bad Writing

You knew you should not have eaten and drank so much on Christmas Day, a troubled sleep leads to a nightmare where you find yourself trapped in the worst place imaginable: The Land of Bad Writing! Will you ever escape?

Authors Note: I should point out I have assumed about twenty different author's voices to give the worst examples of bad writing as possible as a guide of how not to write. If you want to know what my usual style is like message me or read my other story-games. It is also worth pointing out this story-game isn't aimed at anyone's stories in particular but practitioners of bad writing in general.

Featured Story The Lost Expedition (1)

You are a Victorian Adventurer, a man who explores dangerous places and does dangerous things for the thrill of it. Following your recent expeditions in Africa you have been invited to the island of Marco, recently claimed by the British Government. Landing in the port of Victoria on the east side of the island you soon learn why you are there: a party of fifty men led by a certain Captain Donovan have vanished on an exploration expedition into the unknown jungle interior.
Your assignment is to find him and learn what has befallen his men, though you will be lucky if you too do not vanish from sight and knowledge beneath those deadly trees...

Author's Note: As this is the first story game I will have posted I am only posting half of it while I get used to the scripting etc. If it is not universally despised I will post the sequel Donovan's Curse (2) as soon as I have written it.

The Lost Expedition (2)

You are a Victorian Adventurer, a man who explores dangerous places and does dangerous things for the thrill of it. Following a month of searching the deadly island of Marco you have found the remnants of the lost expedition of Captain William Donovan, a renegade officer who seems to enjoy his role as adopted chief of the local Yantu Natives. You and your men now find yourself at the mercy of these dangerous and war-loving warriors... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Author's Note: This is the sequel to The Lost Expedition (1), the first story-game I wrote on this site over two years ago, and my entry into the January 2017 Wilderness themed competition. I think everything I've done in these Lost Expedition stories I've done bigger and better in the Magellan stories but I'm glad Bucky's competition has given me the motivation to finish this little two-part adventure. To get the most out of this story I recommend you read The Lost Expedition (1), first, though this can be read as a stand-alone adventure.

Recent Posts

The Cystia Roll of Honour on 3/20/2017 3:44:29 AM
Princess is now a new achievement unique to Steve :) It's like Prince but even better... haha gotta love typos :D

The Cystia Roll of Honour on 3/19/2017 2:05:14 PM


1 Queen TharaApples, Ordained amongst the Sages (112 Commendations)

2 Princess Steve24833, Lauded Exemplar amongst the Sages (84 Commendations)

3 Duke Will11, Pre-Eminent Exemplar amongst the Architects (75 Commendations)

4 Marquis IronPanther, Sovereign amongst the Wardens (71 Commendations)

5 Earl MinnieKing, Lauded amongst the Sages (63 Commendations)

6 Viscount Nyctophilia, Immortal amongst the Marauders (61 Commendations)

7 Baroness mizal, Lauded amongst the Sages (48 Commendations)

8 Count StrykerL, Lauded amongst the Sages (47 Commendations)

9 Chamberlain JJJ-thebanisher, Exemplar amongst the Sages (35 Commendations)

10 Captain Crescentstar, Esteemed amongst the Architects (29 Commendations)


11 Sir Ogre11, Esteemed amongst the Architects (25 Commendations)

12 Sir ISentinelPenguinI of the Sages (18 Commendations)

13 Sir WouldntItBeNice, Notorious amongst the Marauders (15 Commendations)

14 Sir Plelb, Infrangible amongst the Wardens (14 Commendations)

15 Sir Romulus, Infrangible Exemplar amongst the Wardens (13 Commendations)


Sir LNFyle of the Sages (10 Commendations)

Sir Bucky, Infrangible amongst the Wardens (10 Commendations)

Sir Bannerlord, Esteemed amongst the Architects (9 Commendations)

Sir jep49 of the Sages (9 Commendations)

A special congratulations to TharaApples who rises to the Number One position and becomes the first person on this site to individually earn over 100 Commendations, also congratulations to MinnieKing for earning a lot of Commendations in the last week. Incidentally the Previously Noted list will extend up to ten names, after that people at the tail end will begin to "vanish"... :)

Well done to everyone for their hard work and I wonder if anyone can drive Thara off her pedestal?

No Review this week but here's a cool story on 3/16/2017 12:54:29 AM
Haha yes :D I think the Review will be published in what are effectively series, a number of editions for some months, a break of a few months, this another run of editions etc to give me a chance to streamline the review, play around with what works and doesn't work and also give everyone a period to experience the truth joy-less horror of a world without the review before returning their salvation to them :D Plus I'm really tired atm :) No Review this week or next for definite and probably not for a few months :)

Selling Out on 3/15/2017 8:37:12 AM
Well it's your game so of course it's your choice for whatever you do with it and it's always best to go with what motivates you the most :) In fairness these motivation threads on cys generally have the opposite effect because they distract people from writing and stand as a record for any missed targets which generally have a demoralising effect :P

No Review this week but here's a cool story on 3/14/2017 12:06:12 PM
Yeah, sorry about that :) Tbh I'll be a bit busy with real life for the next six months due to changing jobs, changing cities, changing apartments, two holidays to two different countries and various other stuff... apart from copying and pasting articles and contributions from Mizal and Steve it's a bit hectic to write a whole Review every week and my inspiration is running low :) I think a break for the Review for a few months again before picking it up for another run might be handy for me :D

The Cystia Roll of Honour on 3/9/2017 11:03:46 PM
It sounds like a good idea... I was thinking keeping them there will get them motivated to get back on the roll though rather than if they get dropped they might just think "screw commendations" and lose interest in earning them :)

The Cystia Roll of Honour on 3/9/2017 10:37:47 PM
Haha that's ok :D 3rd place is probably about as high as I'll ever get :D It's only going to go down for me from here :P

The Cystia Roll of Honour on 3/9/2017 10:37:09 PM
I expect that in time it will get very competitive but hopefully not just within the same group of 10-15 people but amongst members of the site in general :) Maybe I'll make a new category: In Training or something for the next ten below the Honourable Mentions...

The Cystia Roll of Honour on 3/9/2017 10:35:24 PM
Haha yes, some members have jumped up so some members have gone down, in time the Previously Featured list will be longer than the Roll of Honour :D I think doing it every ten days gives people time to go for commendations if they're keen to get them :D

No Review this week but here's a cool story on 3/9/2017 10:33:31 PM
I'm afraid there won't be a Weekly Review this week due to my work pressures/lack of time and the fact that I just don't have time to write the whole thing this week :D I'll try to bust out another edition next week but as my workload is increasing until I change jobs and cities this summer I might not have as much time in the future; in consolation here is a typically great piece of writing by everyone's favourite carefree author, the site's lovable resident Irishman Steve24833 :D Barak was never a superstitious person, but he was always a complacent one. When the priests came along, year after year collecting their flesh tithe, Barak never complained. Friends, cousins, uncles were all taken by the masked warriors with their stone clubs, on the orders of the priests whose sightless eyes scoured the throngs of villagers, picking out one "lucky" soul to be taken up the great mountain where their fate is unknown to the common farmers like you, only known by the priests themselves and their warrior bodyguard. It finally changed on a cold day as the first life of the year broke free. Barak knelt over the snow, gathering firewood, Bundled in his arms was whatever dry wood he could find. He picked up a large branch, revealing a small green sprout bursting up from the frozen soil. He paused, frowning as he realized what the first burst of life of the season meant for him and the entire village. He considered hiding it, just brushing some snow over the green sprout before Tana saw it, grinning. "Winter is over! It's finally over!" she said gleefully. Barak grimaced, before nodding. "Yes, it is." "I'll tell the chief," she said, gleefully, turning to rush off. Barak considered turning to her, trying to stop her, convince her they didn't need to tell anyone for now, but that was not only far too risky for him, putting him in the sights of the rest of the tribe. It wasn't worth saving a few days before someone else noticed some other green, if that. "Go," Barak said, as Tana eagerly ran off. Barak sighed, and turned to walk after her. *** The entire village stood outside the rows of huts, watching the procession of people enter. Warriors, tall, strong and muscular figures walked in, wooden clubs studded with stone held in their hands as they hefted them over their shoulders, chanting in a deep, melodic unison. The priests, all ancient figures whose eyes are milk white and completely sightless, wailing with high pitched voices that crack the solid chanting of the warriors, marched along. They clutched at the faces and hands of villagers, as if that helps clear the haze of the Gods' visions and help them find the one who needs to be given up to Oro'Maki in the mountain. One of them paused in front of Barak, grabbing his faze and squeezing it tightly. "Yes... yes..." he said, stretching your mouth and pressing his dirty fingers against the inside of your cheeks, before tapping your teeth gently. "So close... but too old," he sighs. The high pitch wail of a baby breaks through that of the priests', and the priest in front of you pauses. His toothless mouth shifted to a grin as he turned around, wrinkled fingers wrapping around the chubby limbs of your little brother, Rama. "Yes... here he is. The boy." Barak turned to look at Mama, but she was dull and complacent. He nodded, slow and unsure, before simply handing Rama over to the priest, who nodded happily. Barak paused, looking around to see if anyone else would act before grabbing at the priest's arm. Instantly, the warriors surged forward, letting out shouts of anger at his defiance to the will of the priests and more importantly, the will of the Gods. "He's just a baby!" Barak said. "He's gone either way!" the priest says. "If Oro'Maki isn't pleased, he will awake from his home in the mountain and everything will die!" Two of the warriors stepped forward, stone clubs in their hand, ready to swing. Barak considered fighting, or running, but he knew he had no choice and nodded. "Good boy," the priest nods. The priest pulled away, free of Barak's grip. Rama stayed silent,, not understanding the gravity of the situation, his infantile mind content. watched, his eyes filled with passion as their attention shifted back to their chosen one to be taken. Barak would do... something. *** Despite Barak's earlier outburst, the village was as always a trusting place. They trusted that when wind came, spring would follow. They trusted that the priests spoke directly for the Gods themselves. They trusted that when Barak said he was going out hunting for those little squirrels and shrews that had woken up from their slumber. He had not. He crept up the mountain slowly, determined. He would find his brother up the twisting, frosty mountain. He knew the priests and their prophecy was wrong. Oro'Maki had slumbered in that mountain since the start of time itself. The tribe hadn't always been in this place. Thus, when they weren't there, there would've been no one to perform the rituals and Oro'Maki's wrath would've been released long ago. No, these were the superstitions of fools, and he wasn't letting his brother fall victim to them. It wasn't hard to find the priests' mountaintop temple. The pillar of smoke rising up from the side of the mountain showed him where to go, and he did, heading straight up the frozen path. He clambered up the frozen terrain, a long hunting spear in one hand, the other holding onto the frozen rocks as he moved further up the snow. His feet were almost blue and purple from the cold. He didn't know how the elderly priests could survive the journey up here, let alone stay up there for weeks at a time. He continued up there for a good few minutes, before he finally arrived to find the small camp nestled away in the mountain, just at the edge of a sharp cliff and a long drop. A dozen hide tents sat around a large fire. A few warriors sat around the fire, conversing as they roasted wild Pheasant over the campfire. Barak listened softly for crying of Rama, hearing it in one of his tents. He edged down towards the tent he heard the crying come from. He lifted up the back of the tent, dropping to his belly and crawling into the tent. Rama lay in a bundle of cloth and furs. One of the priests, an elderly female, stood next to him, gently soothing it. He paused, unsure of what to do. "We sleep now, little one. We wake at midnight for the ceremony." The priest turned away, lying down next to Rama. It was cold and it was late. Barak moved forward slowly, creeping along the tent. The soft snoring of the priest assured him that sleep had taken her. He slowly put his hands around Rama, slowly prying her fingers off the baby boy. He gently slid the snoozing Rama free of the priest's grip, before she tensed up. Barak froze, pausing. "Ah!" the priest screamed as she burst awake. "Intruder!" Barak didn't have time to think, only to act. He drove the tip of his spear through her wrinkled throat. She paused, gurgling on her own blood as she collapsed onto the ground. Barak grabbed Rama, who woke with a start. "Intruders!" a warrior outside answered to the dying priest's final call. Barak swore as Rama burst into crying. He considered heading out the front, but he decided against that action as a club forced its way through the tent entrance. Barak turned, diving to the ground with Rama above him, as he began to shuffle through the bottom of the tent opening. A hand grabbed his foot, so he kicked, his bare, frozen feet land on the wrist of one of the warriors. The warrior releases his grip, only for his stone-studded club to slam down on Barak's ankle. Barak screamed loudly as his ankle broke. He gritted his teeth, squeezing Rama as he pulled himself free. He burst forward, dragging himself out into the frosty cold illuminated by the golden sun that disappeared over the horizon. He tried to stand, but only collapsed back on a knee. A warrior appeared, swinging his club as it smashed into his arm, bruising flesh and perhaps breaking bone. Barak screamed, desperately clinging to Rama as he struggled to his feet. "Watch the child!" a priest yelled. Barak tried to run, before finding himself surrounded by warriors, the priests standing cautiously behind him. Rama would die at the hands of these fools in a barbaric sacrifice. He would be executed for killing a priest. Their deaths would be certain if Barak surrendered. He looked around, as the advancing warriors pushed him further back to the edge of a drop. Barak had no choice. Clinging tightly to Rama with his spare hand, he stepped back, plummeting off the edge of the cliff. He plunged through the air with a scream, smashing into the cold, frozen ground. His legs shattered as they hit the ground as the cold, frosty wind carried his screaming voice far on the wind. He slammed into the ground, spiraling down as he smacked into the stones and ice as he bounced off the cold tundra as he screamed in desperate pain, trying to shield Rama from the fall. His head smacked into a chunk of ice, before he quickly lose consciousness. *** Barak woke, lying in the cold earth, bathed in moonlight. He head tightly onto a bundle of cloth and flesh, struggling to recall what had happened. Suddenly, the piercing scream of Rama roused him as he tried pulling the blankets off to reveal the tiny baby at the center of the pile. He shivered desperately and cried, but he wasn't bleeding, his limbs seemed where they were and he was alive. He gently kissed the top of its head, wrapping it up in blankets. Then, he tried to move. Even moving his legs an inch shot pain throughout his body and made him wish for death. He stopped moving, knowing his body was broken and he wasn't able to move. In the distance he could hear the voices of others. Other villagers, hunters perhaps, or foragers. Hunters, more likely, taking advantage of the dark to sneak up on resting herds. Rama cried for attention, and Barak relaxed slightly, knowing they were coming. Perhaps they'd take him back to the village and give him back to the priests, where he'd meet his fate anyway. Perhaps, since the sacrificial date was over, as night had already fallen and the sun was rising in the distance once more, they'd let him be, or perhaps they'd already found a replacement. Maybe they'd see when the world didn't end that they didn't need to do this. Maybe they wouldn't. It didn't matter. It was beyond his ability to do anything at this point. Barak's head rolled back, as his mission stared up at the mountain. He heard a very loud boom, the top of mountain lighting like a torch, spewing black into the sky that blocked out the rising sun. As the volcano erupted in the distance, death took Barak and he closed his eyes for the last time.