ISentinelPenguinI, The Novelist

Member Since

4/4/2013

Last Activity

9/22/2017 6:06 PM

EXP Points

1,391

Post Count

8319

Storygame Count

2

Duel Stats

75 wins / 81 losses

Order

Sage

Commendations

21

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One day I had a test, and the teacher farted, and then this kid bent over to pick up his pencil, and everyone was scared because they thought they heard a gunshot and there was a school shooting, but actually it was a deafeningly loud flatulence emitted from the kid who picked up his pencil, with such tremendous force and pressure that his pants had ripped open and were smoking. And everyone was laughing, but the kid was pissed.

He got up on his chair and screamed something like, "OH YOU THINK THAT'S FUCKING FUNNY DO YOU!?"

He grabbed one of the girls, and there were many gasps, "I'LL FUCKING SHOW YOU ASSHOLES FUNNY!"

He shoved the girl out of the way, and took a massive shit on her desk. The class laughed, and even applauded. For the first 2 minutes, at least, but the kid would not stop shitting. Eventually it overloaded the desk and started to drop onto the floor.  At 5 minutes, the giggles gave way to horrified screams. Worms and blood started to appear within the shit, and the oils of his eyes were diluting with lymph and starting to drip down his face.

10 minutes, and he was shitting this constant stream of worms like a faucet, they were pooling out underneath him and writhing over each other, burrowing into whatever they could find. The floor was too hard for them, but they found the girl's shoes. You could hear them chewing on everything they could find. They made little clicking noises wherever they bit on something, it was like dumping one bag of marbles into another... But then they found the girl's flesh underneath her shoes and socks, and boy howdy...

The worm hoard sort of swarmed her and started burrowing into whatever bits and bobs they could find. As they chewed, it sounded like those aforementioned marbles were being poured into a bowl of semi-hard jello. A thousand little splats in an orgy of blood and gluttony.

"CAERBOG PROVIDES!" Screamed the fart kid, "CAERBOG EXTRICATES!"

He just kept shitting worms and screaming about our glorious holy lord and savior Caerbog. Just sitting there. The worms turned to eyeballs all melted and grafted together, and the molten skin of his rectum slowly started dribbling down between his legs, but he just kept going. His real eyes were totally gone by this point, and actually his bare testicles were dangling out of one eyehole by their epidydimus, but what was even funnier was that a little horse fetus (Couldn't be more than two months) was desperately trying to escape from his head, but he was too big to fit through the eyeholes, so he just kept squealing and stamping impotently at the walls of his flesh prison.

Eventually, the eyes and the worms and the shit were creating this massive pool of shit that was ankle-deep over the floor of the room, and the girl being eaten by the worms was now a skeleton full of boreholes and tiny bitemarks. The class started really laughing their asses off as her jaw fell off, and one kid even fell out of his chair laughing and was devoured by worms, eyes-first.

The kid just kept on shitting. His legs had been worn down by worms into just nubs of flesh, so no one was surpised when the entire lower part of his torso burst open and started spraying eyeballs and bloody shit everywhere.

"CAERBOG PROVIDES! CAERBOG EXTRICATES! CAERBOG EXTRICAAAATES!" he screamed. More kids laughed themselves into the waist-deep pile of worms.

The teacher just stood on his desk with a look of utter disappointment on his face.

"Caerbog does not exist, you zealous religious faggot." Said the teacher, driving a knife into his belly as the holy purgative fires of Caerbog began biting into the flesh of his taint.

Long story short, the kid got a detention, and our sides fucking exploded that day. Even the fucked up skeleton whose desk he shat on was laughing. You can still hear her laughing if you put your ear to her grave. It's just underneath the floorboards of the basketball court.

It was so hilarious though. You had to be there for the full effect. He was just squatting over her desk with the same strained look on his face the whole time. I mean, while he could still squat and move his face, I guess.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you came to this page in hopes of learning more about me, you're boning up the wrong tree.

Trophies Earned

Earning 100 Points Earning 500 Points Earning 1,000 Points Posting 8319 Forum Posts

Storygames

A Quiz I made for the Blatant Hell of it All.

I discovered a thing that JJJ wrote. It told me all about this quiz-making shit. I followed the instructions, even though I disobeyed JJJ's opening lines by starting this WITHOUT a basic knowledge of any of that weird scripty shit he reccomended. Because blatant recklessness that could potentially break an entire webpage is something I do from time to time. This is a test, to see whether or not I should actually convert one of my projects to an advanced game. This was surprisingly easy, and with what I have in mind, I probably will...


Randomly Walk II, The epic sequel.

this is a loosely satirical and somewhat more gamey version of the game that isn't really a game. thanks to the creative juices of Bardockwest. The ORIGINAL: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/randomly-walk


biddleshite
unpublished

fucking bullshit ass fuck dammit shit asshole tits on a duck fucking a pile of dipshit dumbfuck ass.


FWDR
unpublished

Flame Wars Dice Roller.


monster roar roar!!
unpublished , coauthor

yrr8s s/ht ;m6g tns/ yd6;r t;y

;m8c kc6b n;hw / hs/n/f dn6 ;v6h r[8y dn/m nw8lb


Pictures Test
unpublished

Just a little story to see how I can place my pictures around text.


Recent Posts

CYS-Steam Group get together on 9/22/2017 4:36:40 PM

I dunno, there's a certain sort of appeal to being the guy that makes high-tech weapons for everyone but he still runs around throwing spears and rocks at people.


CYS-Steam Group get together on 9/22/2017 4:22:35 AM

Pff, whatever's wrong with having a charismatic engie who throws spears? Or an insanely strong Quickdraw sniper?


CYS-Steam Group get together on 9/22/2017 3:28:00 AM

I still say we should try to have 5-player fallout, if only to get in loud arguments over the ammo shortage except for the guy who specced into Melee.


CYS-Steam Group get together on 9/22/2017 2:58:24 AM

Also note: No way in hell I'm gonna be reliable enough for a whole Total War campaign. I'm down for a siege, though. I tend not to choke as bad behind castle walls as I do on the field anyway.


CYS-Steam Group get together on 9/22/2017 2:57:05 AM

So we just do every quest five times step by step? That's fine, we just have to pick a really fun quest and carefully squaredance around the map.


CYS-Steam Group get together on 9/22/2017 2:45:08 AM

Medieval II is my Total War of choice. I'm anxious to buy Warhammer II, but I think I'll pass until I can buy it with all the DLC. I'm not sure how many players Wazhack supports, but that's also a fun game and I'll re-buy it on PC if you all will.

Saints Row IV is allegedly multiplayer, but I usually prefer to play stuff like that on my own. Though, I hear Saints Row II is one of the best multiplayer games ever made... And, again, I'll buy that if everyone else does, even though that's probably also maybe 2 at a time.

Apparently there's a functional mod for multiplayer in Fallout New Vegas. I was meaning to install that a long time ago but I remembered I'm shit at installing mods without Nexus so I never looked for it.

I'd also be willing to play a round of CYS TF2, but it has to be on the Wacky Races map or whatever that game mode was where you had to push your full-sized van/spawn to the end before the other guys.


CYSBOT: CYS Backup Or Transpile on 9/22/2017 12:49:46 AM

I mean, not really, but I hope I'm right. Like, if the French are allowed to assume that a guillotine has a vagina without checking to make sure, I'm allowed to assume you didn't attach sex parts and anime eyes to a Secret Death Robot.


CYSBOT: CYS Backup Or Transpile on 9/22/2017 12:31:42 AM

This must have been your plan all along! Forcing everyone into alternative game engines by creating a bot that gets everyone banned for co-authoring it without its permission! IT'S A TRAP! AND IT DOESN'T EVEN HAVE ANIME EYES OR A PENIS!


CYSBOT: CYS Backup Or Transpile on 9/21/2017 11:34:39 PM

I've been positively excellent, as far as I know.

Well, yeah, but it's also against the De-Facto rules to co-author someone without their consent, and those are ten times as important as the Terms of Service. Also, I'm pretty sure everyone commits murder fairly regularly even though it's technically illegal. Does that mean we should be allowed to rob banks!? Of course not, that would be madness!


CYSBOT: CYS Backup Or Transpile on 9/21/2017 10:19:59 PM

Morgan, this clearly goes against the Site Policy. Bots can't consent to Co-Authorship unless coerced by programming/MIND CONTROL.