Player Comments on Moonlit Lands from Long Ago

I liked this one: short and sweet with some unexpected twists and turns. The story didn't seem to stick to any one plot or theme too closely but it was nice meeting all these different weird and wonderful characters and interesting enough for a 5-10 minute read.

There’s something to like about a meandering fairytale story. All the creatures, tropes and characters from classic tales packed into a singular story is fun (if a rather literal interpretation of the theme.) But I think there are better ways to go about an homage like this. We meet a character and move on with little consequence. In fact most of the choices are inconsequential and seem to exist just for there to be a choice. This story is linear and lacking in substance this way. I wonder if there was an overarching theme or goal for the main character how it would add to the story.

ew an fsp game gross

You should read this! Well worth it.

Little bit of spoils ahead ig?



This review will be my thoughts as I'm reading, don't take expect this to be a "you need to work on..." review. Fuck tom, he ain't a real one ong. Any who, I love the whole you turn around and everything changed trope. -1 didn't knock on the door. Just a thought, if this kind of review needs to be put in a thread or just not posted, pm me, and I'll refrane from doing this type thing again. Tom isn't so bad, glad he's no longer looking ragged. Tom walks you home if you choose to leave right away +1. When you agree to stay the word "cat" is spelled "act" a very minor detail. So far this story is great. +2 for the description of surroundings. I can picture some of these scenes as if I was watching a movie. The transition from the young to the middle-aged to old is great, reminds me of the one goddess "Hecate" +1 because mythology is fucking amazing. When leaving the tapestry, weaving shack quickly is spelled "quicklky". Getting an Alice and Wonderland Esc feeling, idk if it's because that's what you're going for or if it's because I read that as an example for this contest. The idea of a kid going through fairy-tails (I am going on a limb, saying that will be what you have to do to untangle the threads. wowie I'm so smart.) and setting them back to how they "should be" is intriguing 1+ I have yet to read something like this and I rather like this idea. HELL YEAH, MY PEA BRAIN FIGURED OUT THE RATHER OBVIOUS MAIN "QUEST" OF THIS STORY CORRECTLY!! When the fished makes the house a mansion, "gold.Crystal chandeliers" A space is forgotten. +1 for the goated fish tale that I haven't heard in over 3 years. "The fisherman shakes his head,;" mistake I think, it is when the wife wishes to be kind and you follow the lad. When the bitchy wife of the fishermen wants to be god, despite is spelled with 2 e's. I learned a new word, "whelp" thank you author. When you get the bottomless pouch will is spelled with an extra L. You have great use of figurative language +1. Cuddles is amazing. CUDDLES IS TIM 0o0 AND HE'S DEAD NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-1. KILLED A CAT. This was a great story and I liked it. The ending for me seems a bit subpar for all the build up; but one of the things that struggle to meet my standards are endings, it's justa me thing. I liked the use of occasional pictures +1. Overall the plot is nice, idea is original, has good grammar, and great vocabulary. One thing I didn't like was the lack of backstory on our character. I didn't get a great sense of their personalty at all. 6/8

Very fun to read!