Ford, The Reader

Member Since


Last Activity

6/29/2020 6:54 PM

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Duel Stats

271 wins / 188 losses





Trophies Earned

Rated 79.3% of all Stories




Recent Posts

~ on 6/27/2020 8:20:03 AM
General Sabley kept a straight face, but her eyes watered. Lt. General Sentinel grit his teeth in greivance but also proudness. The Generals had a combined amount of experience and genius to rival the collective lower 70% of what was left of the military. They would not faulter at this crucial moment. They would not let the millions of deaths be in vain. They would nuke the everloving fuck out of that godforsaken castle or die trying. It was T-9 minutes to the lunar surface breaking upper atmosphere. They would launch fifteen nuclear missiles at the falling chunk of moon simultaneously at T-3 minutes, creating a devistating EMP over Lothric 2: Electric Boogaloo, and raining a nuclear asteroid shower on the enemy fortress. It was by chance that the largest chunk of moon was on perfect trajectory over the castle.

Meanwhile, in the castle: Chanbot had become, in form, Ford - his creator. "Thank you for meeting with me," Chanbot said, seated calmly at the dining hall table - across from two figures, both dressed in gaudy madness and a color choice that would make almost anybody feel ill. "I am here because Mad asked me to be! Now out with it - I do not have all day!" the figure seated at the other end of the table gestured to the woman standing behind him. It was the mad hatter's daughter, a key person to setting up this meeting. She had owed Ford a very big favor, and when he died that favor was passed to Chanbot who took his form. Though Chanbot could have requested almost anything in his wildest robot dreams, he simply asked for a dinner meeting with the man now sat across from him. A man known by many names and given none: the rabbit. The rabbit was a shrewd fellow, pale and jittery and most importantly punctual. The rabbit had great respect and friendship with the hatter family, and came to this dinner table at the request of the most prominent hatter's daughter.

"I understand," Chanbot said, both to the rabbit's haste and to continue on to the point of this dinner, "you have a very large collection of material items." Chanbot held a serious gaze, and the rabbit looked to his face with a fierce concentration. "It isn't very large! It's infinite! Mortal as you are would never comprehend the wealth obtained over millenia! If you are requesting an item I refuse - I am in no mood to give!" the rabbit spat, taking a few gulps of wine as he impatiently waited for a reply. "I would not ask such a thing of you," Chanbot said - the flames about the room rose slightly higher than they were before, "I wish to give you the opportunity to obtain something not in your collection."

"Impossible! I have everything there is to have and more!" the rabbit spoke, "I do not want some trivial unique thing made by mortal - your creative endeavors do not interest me!" Chanbot enticed the rabbit further, stating it was something made by a god more infinite than the rabbit himself and utterly unique. "Tell me now what the object is or I will leave this instant!" the rabbit replied in frustration, standing from the dinner table as though ready to leave. He was done dealing with Chanbot's abiity to beat around the bush.

The generals back at oak ridge counted down to the moment of truth. T minus 5 seconds to launch. Sentinel and Sabley turned their keys, and pressed the button to fire. An unprecidented destructive force entered the atmosphere with fiery trails of smoke in their wake. Target: the moon.

"The moon." Chanbot said, swirling the purely decorative wine in his glass. For the first time in minutes, the rabbit had gone silent. Chanbot smirked as he knwe the rabbit had been caught. "You can offer me no such thing!" the rabbit burst, "I will not have this trickery and madness. Thank you for the food, I will take my leave!" Two armored robot guards blocked the rabbit from walking out the door. He glared at them for only a moment before twirling both fingers like a composer, and they both disappeared. "...and as parting advice, you should teach your guards better manners." the rabbit exited the dining hall. "I'm sorry he was so disagreeable." the hatter's daughter spoke softly, though still amused by the offer of the moon. Chanbot stood to walk out, he offered to escort the hatter out along the way. She kindly accepted and they soon caught up with the rabbit walking with great haste through the dingey lower halls of the castle. "Rabbit, might I escort you out personally? Wouldn't want to get lost and waste any time." Chanbot said. The rabbit angrily accepted, still mad that such a joke had been put onto him. The dinner, he thought, was the largest waste of time he had this year.

"Right this way please," Chanbot led them up stairs through another dark hallway. "You need more color around here!" the rabbit commplained, following Chanbot into a large open area similar to a balcony. A half-atrium where the reality of their situation sunk in fast. A sizable chunk of lunar rock was hurtling towards them, and several nuclear warheads were approaching the insurmountable mass at an alarming rate. "The way out is right this way, though I had hoped you would stay to see the fireworks. My bots have determined it will be quite the show." The rabbit stood motionless for over fifteen seconds. Chanbot coughed to get their attention. The rabbit turned to look at him with a smile that spoke to a deep inner madness. "You bastard." the rabbit's eyes began to glow a soft red. "Even with my superior power, the moon has been a jewel never within my reach. I will have it. It will be mine and mine alone." Chanbot smiled wickedly and simply stood to watch as everything fell into place. "My dear hatter, you will have to bear with a delay getting back home." The chaotic energy abound made the hatter's daughter giggle. It was truly a magnificent sight to see this ancient being become so serious as to release its full power only to obtain a rock bleached by the cosmos. The rabbit brought the full length of his arms to bear, and began creating a large circle with his palms. "The rabbit hole is infinite." he thought, concentrating all his energy to the collection of a planetary scale object. His human form degraded, and he became covered in white fur, growing ears while shrinking out of his human clothes.

Sabley, Sentinel, and the rest of Oak Ridge fortress watched via satellite in anticipation of the destruction to follow. Sentinel calmed himself with warm tea. Sabley watched with crossed arms and gritted teeth.

In a flash of blinding light, everything was gone. The moon, the nukes, the rabbit, a circular cutout of some of the atrium support pillars. It was an excessive display of power. Chanbot's plan was a success. It would be a ten second delay for the generals at Oak Ridge to witness the spectacle.

Sentinel dropped his tea. Mouths hung open. Eyes were wide. Everything was silent. Nobody could believe what they had just seen. Sabley and Sentinel looked from the screen to eachother at the same time - and their faces conveyed the same message: Did you see that too?!

~ on 6/27/2020 7:02:07 AM
"Mr. Nakti, pardon my question," the brigadier general still sat at her post, "but if you had to choose a favorite shape, what would it be?" Ninja would obviously not answer. Even the smallest amount of effort wasted against a sufficient opponent could mean certain death - and he would neither listen to what Megumi had to say, nor converse with her. "Mine is a circle. Did you know there's no such thing as a perfect circle?" she crossed her legs in her seat, smiling with childish glee as though sharing a great boon of knowledge to a fellow ignorant elementary schooler. With his eyes, Ninja saw many openings, but his instincts focused on his arm and he knew it was never going to be so easy. "I have only once witnessed a perfect circle. I saw a rabbit dig one into the imperfect soil of a grassy knoll. Strange, isn't it? What are the odds of a circle coming to be from nature so unrefined?" Megumi went on for some time, not knowing for sure where Ninja was hiding in the shadows. It was then that Ninja realized what she was doing. She was stalling for commander Claw to return. Ninja had no time to wait, but no chance to strike. He was stuck hidden amongst the darkness. There, he hatched a plan. His only chance to kill the brigadier general: Claw, furious and raving, will likely come back in a very distracting and destructive way. That will be his chance to strike.

" doing so I learned a few things," Megumi sensed Claw was near, and just before he would burst through the wall - she raised her hand, fingers spread, and said "the rabbit hole is infinite." Commander Claw burst through the wall - sending debris flying everywhere. The moment before Claw touched the floor of the hallway was the moment it was all decided. In a timespan less than the blink of an eye, Ninja moved. Megumi twisted her palm, rotating her fingers in a perfect circle. Ninja swiped a knife through her neck - decapitating the general. His own perception of reality had changed. He too had lost his head, but the sensation of living remained. Claw landed and saw two bodies get decapitated at the same time. Before he could comprehend what had happened, Megumi's lifeless body slumped out of the chair and her blood began to pool about the door. Ninja's body stood motionless except through breathing.

Ninja watched soil fly inches away from his face. His head was falling but he felt his body remained the same. Claw saw Ninja's body shiver and twitch. Ninja had barfed from the inequal forces occuring to his person. He thought it was hypnosis, but he could not break it. He then thought it was some crazy curse but he was certain Megumi had died, and he had never witnessed a curse not lifted by death of the caster. He then felt a pain he had only felt a few times in life - a knife had punctured his skin. Claw stabbed Ninja's motionless body repeatedly with the silver dagger that was meant for him. The body fell lifeless to the ground. Ninja's head, still falling in a mysterious soil-ridden trap, coughed up blood and went unconscious.

Upon waking, he could feel his arm - the one Megumi had teleported. It had the same sensation as his head. Air rushing by and sometimes a thud of rock hitting it in a random area. He did not feel his body. The worst case had finally occurred to Ninja: he was dead, and this was hell. She had sent him to an infinite pit where his consciousness would be bound forever. He screamed like never before.

CYS is where you want to be. on 6/27/2020 4:37:58 AM
I'll name the site for you:

Do I get a prize? :^)

Corgi gets CUCKED on 6/26/2020 6:08:57 PM
That's interesting and would imply the problem is client-side. Try clearing cache?

I Make Your OC's! on 5/19/2020 8:47:06 PM
Name: 03 (oh-three)
Sex: No thanks!
FavFood: The Souls of the innocent Bagels
Age: 15 years (human)
Species: Demon, Wolf, Goat
Mate?: Wat?

Snake tongue, eyes constantly bleed, got stitches on my mouth and 4 green toe beans on mah feetz.

Yes: Spooky Stuff, Twenty One Pilots, MCR P!ATD, Tumblr, FlowerCrowns,Cats,Sushi,DOORKNOBS <3

No: Anime, Coffee, Celebs., Boogers, Dogs, Sunlight, Sandpaper, Buttons, People.

HMU on 5/19/2020 8:41:54 PM
he has a bedazzler and several bullets

Potato List | Ford's Articles Of Interest on 5/5/2020 2:23:00 PM

Starting off at number 2 because the editor isn't a math person, potato pancakes look pretty good. Maybe they're like hash browns but less grated?

3. Potato hash - looks tasty. I like dishes that are as easy as throwing all of it in a hot pan and its done.

4. Potato gnocchi - I don't speak german, but these potatoes kind of look weird. It's apparently some sort of pasta but potato.

5. Baked potato wedges - hell yes.

6. Potatoes are great - some foreign casserole thing. Not a fan of the gooey texture.

7. Potato bread - na.

8. Fries - ye boi. gonna get me some fries on the way home.

9. Tater tots - I probably haven't had them since I was 13 or so, and it was either at school or at sonic. Both kind of suck. Maybe I need to try some better ones, but for now I prefer fries.

10. Roasted potatoes with herbs - aren't these baked potato wedges but smaller?

11. Mashed potatoes - I wish they were easier to make cause I can eat fuckloads of mash all day every day.

12. Garlic mashed potatoes - alright at least space out the same dish from itself. Is this list just going to repeat the same dishes?

13. Barf - no thank you.

14. Potato crocs - they look like hush puppies but less fried and more soft. I'd eat em.

15. Potato salad - thats just cole slaw with sour cream instead of mayo. Both 0/10 would not eat.

16. Potato salad but warm - bruh, its the garlic mash all over again.

17. Potato filling - their pic makes me hungry as fuck, looks spicy and shit. I'd definitely eat a fuckload of this stuff, burrito or not.

18. Potato soup - I'm not much of a soup person, I guess this soup looks fine.

19. Tater skins - I like mine with jalapenos and more meaty than cheesy but really any are good.

20. Chips - maybe I'll get some chips on the way home too.

21. Potato curry - thats just any curry with a potato mixed in. I bet the rest of this "article" is gonna be various dishes but with potato on them to make them potato dishes. Or maybe they'll say curry again.

22. Hasselback potatoes - a baked potato but sliced. I'll take two.

23. Potato waffles - The shape doesn't matter, it's a potato pancake.

24. Spanish omelet - its a omelet but with a potato mixed in.

25. baked potato - feel like this should've been earlier on the list. Super easy to make a few minutes in the microwave and boom - baked potato.

26. Potato pizza - ehhh idk. Maybe fries on pizza but a pizza made of potatoes? Not sure.

27. Potato leek soup - it's leek soup but with a potato in it

28. Sweet potato pie - surprised there weren't more sweet potatoes on the list. I don't like sweet potatoes though so I'll pass on this one.


Francis Turbine | Ford's Articles Of Interest on 5/5/2020 2:04:58 PM
Francis Turbine

The most common water turbine in use today, the Francis turbine is shaped such that the inward flow of high pressure water drives the trubine and loses almost all its energy in the process. The turbine itself is usually hollowed on the middle of the shaft so that the low-energy water can flow and the pressure can be preserved from the process.

It's highly efficient design for optimal flow make it a staple in water energy systems. Now you know why the blades and housing are shaped in that weird bottom-conic shape with the spiral casting center.

The article has a good depth into the efficiency of the turbine but is severely lacking the applications section. Overall, it was mediocre. 3/8.

corgi213 | Ford's Articles Of Interest on 5/5/2020 1:59:29 PM

The name is not only all lowercase but includes numbers as well. A double whammy of malpractice among usernames. The entire thing is just misc quotes aligned with a pitiful sidebar where five years are shown to have gone by yet less than a thousand points or posts to show for it. I'm sure the two storygames make up for the lack--I mean, rarity, of activity.


Tokamak | Ford's Articles Of Interest on 5/5/2020 1:26:11 PM

We're back into nuclear fusion with the most famous and widely used (~28 in the world) reactor design: the TOKAMAK. Like the other pinch systems we use a magnetic field generated by the surrounding core structure to concentrate and light up the plasma. It's very useful for studying fusion disruptions as they can be controlled. We can model pieces of real life disruptions to better understand the larger systems sch as the sun in real life. I kind of think of it like how every electrical signal can be modeled with a combination of sine waves - any fusion disruption can be represented by a combination of basic disruptions. The TOKAMAK design allows for control and classification of these. It's a very safe stable system by comparison to other methods which makes it a valuable fusion power research design.

The article is very well written, and covers everything in a neat way that stays concise and readable. 6/8.