Player Comments on Pick-a-path Hospital Defense Zombie Survival

The deaths were very abrupt and immersion-breaking. Instead of actually being relatively upset about dying, it's more of an "oh. Well." reaction. Also, I wasn't too keen on the short descriptions of the other people around you, the locations, and the lack of information about the actual situation made it less entertaining than it could have been. You could have something good here if you work on it.

Disregarding all the misspelling errors :

1. Not so bad as a bare-bones sort of platform to work on. If you want to, you can take this story down and proofread and extend it before putting it up again.

2. Needs to have a sort of well-explained reason why your choices will fail. Perhaps make deaths a little less sudden than "Zombie horde looks at you. You are DEAD" sort of scenario, and rather give them two or three choices leading into death.

3. Extended descriptions, such as name, age, background, character interactions (conflict between a couple of the survivors?), of all the characters. Get to learn how to love your characters.

4. More practicality for character flaws. Perhaps the pyromaniac sets something on fire in the middle of the night? Perhaps the claustrophobic woman has to go into a cubicle office? I did see that you did express their flaws, but I'd still like a more practical way to take advantage of those.

I would give you a 5 / 8 (really high in comparison to most stories like this), but with your grammatical errors and spelling errors, I did bump it down to a 3 / 8. However, if you look at my other comments on other CYS stories on this site, you'll notice that I'm a lot less harsher.

Because you've got a good story in the makings.

any means* just to correct a sentence in my previous review. My opinion is still the same as before, a bit more details to things and such would've definitely pulled me in more as a reader.

The deaths in this game can be rather abrupt but it isn't a terrible game by many means. Some more characterization would've been much appreciated, imo.

4/8 Not terribly bad but the writing was short and blunt, like take this and do that. Would have liked more descriptions. This seemed rushed and thrown together very quickly

It was good. My only problem is the bad grammar.

The grammar ruined it. I'm sorry.

to short but fair story

pretty good, but actually look back at it, some words were in other words.

Very cliche story, it seems you didn't even try and add your own take on this common zombie theme. Spelling and grammar need work.

this was fun make more

It was a bit too short and the structure was a bit confusing, but actually the core concept was quite a good one.

The grammar could be better.

A little more detail would've made this a lot better

I really liked the idea of this game - but I think you could give more details. For example, I don't know the names of these people I'm trying to survive with.
Plus, it was quite linear and you got some grammar and spelling mistakes, but it wasn't all that bad!