Player Comments on The Last Teenager (v2)

I wasn't bad, just a bit short... But how in the world are you supposed to commit suicide with a candle?! Choke yourself to death?

"You died somehow!"

FUCK NO.

That was interesting. I think you could definitely expand on this idea. Thanks for the game.

Hmmm. Too much of too little.

Thanks for your feedback guys, now I know what I need to do. A) Proofread more B) Make a more complex plot without instant death around every corner C)Be better. THANK YOU, O critic people!

This is really good. I only wish it was longer

Well,for a first time story on here it was much better than many first time games on here! So Grats for that!

I always leave feedback in any comments I make so here is some.

You had branches which was good and overall there was a follow able plot of sorts. Sadly though many of your choices were simply 'correct choice or die instantly' which are never so good. Your pages were also very short, often single liners.

Next time, and I hope there is a next time, try going for longer, a little more on every page and no insta deaths!

Uhm.....

The words "you died somehow" are the last thing that any reader of story-games wants to read, especially when it's random because it gives the 0 incentive to read the story again to try and survive 2 pages instead of 1 :)

You don't explain why we die when we die. That's enough reason to give this a horrible rating. 1/8

Not good.
1/8

What Kind of a story is this if you only die at the end? Twist ending maybe? But still, Reasons i didn.t like this:

1. Some grammar errors
2. Bad Ending
3. Not many Links
4. Little Dialogue

1/8

I liked it,but the only thing I didn't like was that their was really only one choice that would let you survive on every page. Make it longer,and add more choices and I will rate it better!

That was alright in my opinion. Most of the pages were very well written, and that is what I like to see, although a few pages were... ehh.

It was honestly kind of difficult to survive long in this story for a few reasons:

1. There was not too much description between pages, so it was more like guessing.

2. There were not to many links, so in many cases there were pages with two links. A "progress further" link and a "death" link.

3. There were quite a few random events without any story behind them.

I feel like you could do much better, if you implemented an actual story into this, and maybe make it longer, but overall, it was a great play!

Keep writing!