Player Comments on True Destiny

It ends rather abruptly, I believe. Cool concept and good writing, though.

Didn't really get it

The writing is good (there are a few errors, but nothing distracting) and I'm really interested in what happens AFTER the endings (I checked all of them to see if any went farther). Short is one thing, but this seems unfinished. Is it a demo?

I wish it didn't just cut off with feeding pigs.

Is this supposed to be a demo? It sort of ends before it can even begin properly.

It's good writing, but ending it so abruptly seems a tad bit queer to many of your critics. If you really want a more compete review, please take this down, lengthen it, and put it back up again. The story is just too short to fairly rate it.

I wasn't a fan. It was too short with a dull ending. Something interesting needs to happen! And feeding a pig is not interesting.

The sudden ending made no difference to me. The characters were bland, and I yawned at the ending. The writing is above average, but when the story isn't interesting, writing doesn't count for much. 3/8

I was a little disappointed with the ending but I liked your writing and would love to read more.

Like what Briar_Rose said... Your writing is not bad, but it's annoying when the story just ends so abruptly. You should make it longer, like the first chapter in the series or something.

Well that was annoying. I was getting into that. Sorry I had to rate so low. You're a decent writer, and you're probably capable of writing a really good story game, but this just felt so unfinished to me. I know it's part of a series but if you're writing a series of story games, you should end the game the same way you would end a chapter in a book. Something interesting has to happen so that we want to find out what happens next. You could have ended the game with her father taking her to the hospital or something. Instead I ended the game by feeding a pig. Just writing one single, long story would be better, but if you're going to write a series, try to end the story on something more interesting next time.