Player Comments on DELTA: The Beginning

Short, pointless.

Colbin's Fate (Rouge Ending)

Is this some kind of demo you are trying to hide?

Really ?

Ugh. If your story is only 2/8 in length, WHY DO YOU MAKE A PART 2?

Ending rather fast

Wait, is this a storygame or a joke? Because either way it's not good. Please don't be insulted by this; I mean, it WOULD be good if you actually, you know, actually put some time and effort into it?

The dialogue was horrendous. Either stick with quotations or stick with script-like dialogue, don't try to mix the two. Also, There's really no need to serialize a story like this. There are several games on this site, whole games, as in the entire story is contained in one game, that are literally thousands of pages.

not very choose your own...

It was okay but I don't really like story games where it shows what people say by typing their names and then a colon. That's how script's are written and this is a story, not a script. Also in the one where you knock the guy out of the plane, how exactly are you supposed to clear your name?... You did it. :p

Seth says NO! WAYYYY too short.

You should try to expand the first storyline.

sick, but only one choice, on my path. instead of making a sequel make more choices. this should not be a 7 for maturate level

Your other one is better.
Could you please just make 1 big story instead of alot of sequels.

I made one choice the entire time, which might be OK if it was a wicked badass story with a blow-your-socks-off plot and a bunch of compelling characters, but it wasn't. I'd say, take several days to write your next story. Perhaps a week, maybe even a month or a couple of decades, because one day is simply not enough time for you to produce your best.

I guess, you tried your hard and it's pretty good to see that you completed two stories in a day.
Could have added more choices and it was almost linear with descent plot.

Better than ST. Still you need to put more effort. There are only 2 choices on each page and its real short. But still better than any recent short story. Good luck. 4/8.