Player Comments on Fall to Hopelessness

- - Quick Review - -
First of all, nice work on that cover art! This story did an excellent job of luring in the reader with that. Then the author got the reader hooked with an incredible first page of writing, and the story just gets better from there. A worthwhile read for sure, especially fun if you like the storygames you read to actually require skill.

- - Highlights - -
I suppose I’ll start at the very beginning (a very good place to start). This story has my favorite beginning page I’ve read so far, and I’ve read some pretty good ones. It’s mysterious, intriguing, detailed, and thought-provoking. I couldn’t help but become deeply involved since that first page. What a way to start off a story!

I liked and appreciated that none of the decisions felt out of character. The narrator was the narrator, while still giving the reader freedom of choice. This must’ve been difficult to do, and it makes this story so good. Mystic did a fantastic job writing every choice to where it felt like the narrator was actually making that choice; not every story does this so well.

The naming of this story was very well-done. I loved the significance of the thing/place this story was named after, and that it has a name that doesn’t just try to say what the story will be.

A more specific thing I really liked was the description of the laughter of the people on the plane. Instead of something like “they laughed at me mockingly, filling me with rage,” the author described past instances of similar laughter; thus allowing the reader to adopt their own feelings of rage at their mockery. Very creative, takes a piece of writing to the next level to use descriptions this way.

The HEALTH stat throughout the story was a nice touch; especially when I got deeper into the story and could be damaged or healed. It was a clever and creative way to help the reader make decisions by knowing their limits.

I absolutely loved this being a first-person perspective piece. I haven’t come across this pov a lot on this site, and I really liked it for this story; especially where the narrator has a lot of built up emotional trauma, getting to see his inner thoughts and emotions really brought this story greater depth.

Speaking of emotions, I wanted to cry during some of those flashbacks of the narrator’s wife and Rosa. The way he called her “my Rosa”. Mystic makes it so easy to become emotionally invested in this story. They were so descriptive, so well-written, so grief-striking.

The character development for this storygame was out of this world (hehe). Even the characters that I only saw for a short period of time had distinct personalities and traits, and no two characters were alike. Also this may be just me, but I could hear a different voice for all the random side characters just by the way they talked.

I loved the little touch of the rose in sky world representing Rosa. Sure, it’s a little obvious, but in my opinion not in an over-pushed way. It felt like a dollop of whipped cream atop an ice cream sundae.

This story was very well-polished. It was probably among the most polished I have read so far. I can’t remember coming across any SPAG issues, and the game ran smoothly.

I found the number of choices in this story to be quite satisfactory; especially for the length it presents.

Last really specific thing: I don’t know if it was intentional, but I thought it was clever when Mademoiselle Sparrow asked if Fall to hopelessness was a book.

- - It took ol’ Horton a really long time to find the flower with the dust speck - -
The only thing I think could be improved on this story is that I wish there was more detail on the “therapist”.

- - Final Thoughts - -
Incredible story, true to its name and cover art. I would maybe be interested in seeing Rosa get her own story??? What a great dad that crazy narrator is though. Definitely worth reading. Fantastic storygame by Mystic, I can’t wait to read more of your works.

I really, really liked this. A lot. Where do I start? I'll start with the knowing tone of the narrator--not intrusive, not chatty, but so present. Even the PSA of "death is not the answer" in some endings felt very much in the spirit of this narrator.

The overall prose was attractively written, but more than that, it blended the mellow feeling of a fairy tale, modern adventure, and arch meta-ness.

But here's the thing: this is at its heart a story that partakes of medieval allegory, or Spenser. This is a story where the main character is dealing with figures who are both straight-up characters and allegories, like the embodiment of Truth, or figures who are both Video Game Enemies with health bars, essentially but who are also important things that need to be conquered in order to come to terms with with a terrible reality, or The Skeleton. But in the spirit of Total Recall or the very best modern allegory, we also get to doubt whether the Truth is the truth or just incipient madness.

We arrive at Hopelessness, but this isn't Milo puttering around in his little car tootling through the Kingdom of Widom with Tock and Humbug, but something that lets itself dig into dark fantasy. If we're in a world of allegory, then sure, why not kill someone without mercy and hijack the plane? It's not real.
Honestly the second I saw that health bar (Health: 20) I was hoping that the story would call it out. And it did not disappoint.

There's a little of everything here. There was serious and heavy grieving (I thought of the medieval poem Pearl, no kidding) and some tactical messing around with items and a fight, and decisions about how to use limited resources, and decisions about what kind of person I am. A sort of gauntlet through death and despair, where the enemies I face, I am and was responsible for.

This game is artsy without being fartsy, and the game goes so far as to treat us to excellent writing when using a bandage, because of course it all means something more than slapping on a bandage.

I did hit a bug which is probably a corner case, in which repeated shots at the same enemy didn't seem to do additional damage. That's ok. It made me despair. That's probably thematic.

As always, I'll actively try to spoiler the most I can in this review, so read at your own risk. One day, I'll stop even giving out these warnings and become the true edgelord this contest needed.

Alright, enough rambling. Let's get to the story. Mystic is an author that has erected a whole world parallel to our own and keeps expanding upon it with every story she puts out. I quite like it; it's original and has an exciting personality behind it, ever hinting at more and more to keep you reading.

More about the story itself, I found its weakest point being the start. While I couldn't fault the strong introductions of the characters, I disliked all murders having so little response from the world, exacting even less consequence than me booting up my PlayStation to shoot up some GTA npc's.

This was especially true in the therapist path, where both the dialogue flowed unnaturally and me shooting up the hospital was followed up with just more casual conversation and an even more casual stroll towards the airport to hijack a plane; no officers in sight. It felt strangely empty.

That being said, I greatly enjoyed the first-person perspective, which illustrated the ensuing descend into insanity much better than the second person would. The story also picked up, leaving the real world feeling even more hollow in contrast to the richly imagined and whimsical police state in the sky.

From there on, it only got better. I very much enjoyed the darker turn the story took. As we progressed further, the world became intangible, incoherent almost. Where normally I'd hate it and claw at my head in want for the author to give more description, here it fits the tone perfectly and allows us to focus more on the essential part, the conflict within our inner world. Very well done.

That being said, I felt the ensuing fighting game detracted more from the essence than adding to it, more shoehorned in than a solid building block, if that makes sense.

From the endings themselves, I enjoyed the Finality one the best. Although if I'd add anything, I'd say the Finality ending after the moment in the cloud deserved a slight alteration, the previous page having put more sweetness into this bitter ending. The other endings were very much different, showing a surprising amount of branching near the end.

All in all, this must be my favorite work of Mystic. The personal struggle and overall tone made this story really shine as it ramped up.

This is something that is certainly written quite robustly. I believe that there's a wealth of descriptive language used, but is it a dark fantasy when it is in some way a modern setting? That aside, I appreciate the writer's ability in making what's essentially a sequel, but is something that can stand strongly on its own as a good story.

Good work here, Mystic.

Great story, very emotional. This story has excellent descriptions that make you feel like you are there. Liked the way you had some good options at the stores, and I liked that you could choose both from the options or your weapons.