Player Comments on Landslide

There is a surreal quality to both the story and the language in which it's told; one is probably intentional, the other the unintentional result of this being an ESL project.

There is a promising start: the titular landslide has already occurred, you are a commercially successful writer trapped in the debris, you die. Then the story gets linear and very existential for a bit as you ponder what you are and what you observe in the Maine national park in which you died. (The search and recovery process gives way to a strange stand-off between hippies and hunters.)

You wonder why your loved ones haven't come to the scene of your death -- but when they do, the most bizarre sequence of all occurs. The depravity that occurs in this middle episode was over-the-top, trying to shock me in a way that's impossible in the Internet Age.

Then the story ends on a long note of existential exposition.

Therefore my reaction to the story was interested, bored, doubtful, bored. The boredom was because the story had long sections with no plot, where I (Sera) just floated around as a ghost, wondering what was happening. I found it rather telling that when this character died, her worldview was informed more by video games... without a single thought given to actual real-world beliefs on spirituality or metaphysics. For that reason I found the story to be uninsightful.

There's a ton of grammar issues.

Good atmosphere but your tense is really confused. You need to maintain 2nd person tense for CYOA

Well, this one is quite unique, as it revolves around less of a plot, but more on the workings of the mind and philosophy. Nevertheless, it make an interesting read.

There were certainly some spooky moments in this.

Yes, Mara, I don't consider this to be bad. While there are some flaws with how things flow in general, you certainly don't shy away in providing quite in depth details and descriptions of things.

This something wasn't unpleasant to read during with my free time, and I actually wouldn't mind to read through this again for an even deeper understanding of the things that took place in this story. :)