Player Comments on Leroy and Mika's Organic Poetry

The backstory of the relationship between our two main characters is well laid out. We learn about how they met, the times they had with each other, how this is the last day they’ll be together for 27 months, and that they love the planet enough to leave each other.
However, I wish we got to learn about why they love each other. Perhaps they admire each other’s desire to help save the planet, or it’s something they like about the other's personality, or both. It could be written like: “On that first day in the ‘zero-waste sustainability’ club, their eyes made contact, interest overflowing in them, and perhaps something more.” Then add two or three more lines like that interspersed with the rest of the text.

Being able to choose half your poetry lines is a great idea, but which could be made even better if expanded upon. It would be very nice if you were presented with a few poem topics to choose from, which are based upon the aspect of the story you like the most. Like the relationship? The poem is about how in love Leroy and Mika are. Want to know more about their collective goal? The poem centers around how much they care about being in the Peace Corps.
I also wish there were more than two different choices per line to choose from, to add just that much more variety.

The description has one paragraph that spoils much of the story. In a story as short as this, describing the plot to the reader before they read it is more detrimental than advantageous. Besides, the description’s poem does a far better job at selling the story-game than any paragraph ever could.
If you were to make a story like this again, it would be amazing if the whole story was one long poem. It would make the reader guess and interpret the story in interesting ways that cannot be replicated with a more conventional story.

This was pretty good!

Honestly, I think what could have took this from good to great is if the endings changed with each poem. It would have been like Private Game for Natalie, where depending on how you finish the poem, the characters would have completely different lives. Based on the missed potential for a cool idea, I give it a 5.

Ugh, I do not look forward to reading the love and dating genre as a whole. Well written.

This was a swell game and I enjoyed every second.

I enjoyed it. It was short and sweet.

Original, clever, and beautiful. Well done!

Awh! That was so fucking wholesome, I could die! <3

a gut wrenching aesop on how liberalism and modern society leads to alienation and the demise of familiar bonds

Thoroughly enjoy it, it's like a gentle aroma of a Citrusy Mock Orange but a bit too cheesy. The lais part could have been better if you give them clearer interactions like one read it to the other then the other share their own little lais to their partner in return for their partner gift. It isn't that bad of a short story but it'll be more pleasant if you give the characters to have more certain feelings to eachother so that the lais could have a greater impact to each characters. I would said the relationship between Leroy and Mika feel more like "Neutral Cheesy" rather than the "Romance" that I am looking for. In conclusion, it is a decent read and it could definitely improve more. 5/8

Great design and good use of 1,000 words. So in structure and poem flow, I give you a 7. However, the story plot itself is a childish plane boring soap story with two characters that look like a retarded Dick & Jane know Captain Planet. So I give it a five. Well done, far far better than mine