Player Comments on OhDragon take 2

Congrats on figuring out variables and links, but I can already tell you this will be taken down for low ratings.

I'm sure a decent game could come of this basic idea, but it would need a lot more work put into it than what I'm seeing here. Poor grammar, poor punctuation, the actual writing very minimal and uninspired, and branching was...lacking. Why were there choices that just tell the reader they have to pick a different choice to progress? Seriously, why include that at all?

The sort of running commentary from the author found here really only works in a comedy game. Although to be fair it's difficult to tell what the intended tone was with what we're given here.

I think this idea does have potential, but this is just completely bare bones and reads like the roughest of rough drafts. Put some more time and effort into the writing in the next one and polish it properly. There's no rush on this stuff.

The concept isn't terrible, but that's about the only thing that isn't terrible. There is only telling, no showing. There is no logic behind choices. Spelling and grammar are both bad, at best. There's random parts where you put in your own commentary, which really isn't needed. Also, this isn't an 8/8 difficulty or 7/8 maturity. I know you don't want to give younger players nightmares, but trust me, this story will only give Gower a nightmare (or perhaps trigger some PTSD).

Please read some of the highly rated stories on the site before making another story, because this is definitely below minimum site guidelines.

It’s a good game, not the best and not the worst.
I think it’s worst points are it’s variables, and it’s writing.
Other than that it has enough choices.

this is a game that’s not unique, there are plenty of dragon games out there.
Not horrible for a first game however, The stats are basically useless and kind of annoyed me but I still rate this a decent game.

While this isn't completely awful for a first game, I think it could definitely do with some proof-reading. There's a lot of missing punctuation and grammatical errors, especially concerning use of the word "your" as opposed to "you're." Also, sometimes it's written in second person, and other times it's in first person, which is fairly jarring. The stats are almost entirely useless - although the author does acknowledge this, which makes me wonder why the stats are even in the storygame - and don't always reflect the developments in the story itself. And, as far as the story goes, it's your standard "live the life of a dragon" stint, a theme which seems weirdly common on this site. But despite all that, I did have a surprising degree of fun with this game (although mostly ironically), and I've definitely seen worse. I just think the author needs to brush up on their SPaG and writing technique before giving their next story a go.