Player Comments on The Foreigner
I think because of the way the game's set up, most people are going to find the edgy ending before this gets going and just take their point. But there's actually quite a bit here and it does get sort of interesting when you start finding out more about the aliens.
The writing itself is kind of sloppy and full of errors unfortunately, in addition to pretty obviously being written by a kid. In that sense it reminds me a bit of that Super Tale story published recently by 325boy. (Although that one had more signs of proofreading.) I don't regret reading it or anything and the potential is there, it's just missing a few layers of polish, and there are issues with character interaction and pacing that mean what are meant to be dramatic moments don't always work.
Is the Alzheimer's ending the only "winning" one btw? Because that was pretty anticlimactic.
Anyway, I can't really say this was a *good* story, but the sheer amount of writing, the items, puzzles, and so on all point to a lot of effort put in and that's admirable. And the enthusiasm behind it sort of won me over despite the other issues. The biggest flaws here are simply the amateurish nature of it all, and that's something the author will improve at with time and practice. (And proofreading!)
on 1/24/2021 6:17:52 AM with a score of 0
The author is so obviously a 13 year old writing out their fantasies of being the most abused kid ever so they can justify violent revenge. It's all a bit silly.
— HHH on 1/9/2021 5:13:52 PM with a score of 0
Pretty decent except for the typo here:
"Ok coming mom," you say.
on 1/8/2021 10:09:00 PM with a score of 0
The objects and usage of them are really bad designed. Most of times you only can use one and is the only choice, a choice that you know will end in a dead end. The plot is really bad developed and seems a mere filler for fewer objects than don't bring anything to the story. They also fail to be a puzzle.
Still, with more usage of different objects in the same scenes and more dialogue and character development, it could be a good story. Maybe adding an intro with dialogue or portraying the childhood could make that readers care more for the protagonist.
on 1/8/2021 6:18:27 PM with a score of 0