You have dedicated years of your life working to prove the existence of a hidden pharaoh - someone who has pulled the strings of Ancient Egypt from the shadows, Kannok. Will you delve into the tomb and be successful, or will this just be another piece of history lost to time?

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This is my submissions for End Master’s Prompt Contest 3. Any and all feedback is welcomed and appreciated.

The gods of the realm fall silent as the Lahrian Kingdom spreads the following of The True God across the land. The Inquisitor's army has been sieging the city of Aurella for three weeks now. Your army grows restless at it seeks to purge the heretics inside it's gates. Will you destroy the city in the name of your god through slaughter, or will you find another way? 

I think you're on to something - I don't know what, but something. I'll be honest a text wall like this will turn off any reader, especially here. Its alot of the narrator talking in circles about things the reader has no idea about or could even try to comprehend. It might make sense in the context of your head, but someone reading this as is - is just reading random sentences of someone's thoughts going back and forth in a circle of "I should have, I didn't, its the past, they hate me" blah blah blah.

Reading the comment reply to Crimson, I now know why its called "The Price of Magic" but I wouldn't have gathered that conclusion at all from the story itself. I think a few more details of what actually happened would hugely benefit the reader.

There really isn't much here to deconstruct as all I know is the character hates burning some portal or something for whatever reason.

Ogre Gang 2025. MAKE TRAIN ROBBERIES GREAT AGAIN

HARDY BOYS MENTION

I read Mercer Gang on repeat. Soothes the soul...

Amazing as alwasy team! Love reading these!

Less Squid Game and Circle Guard

More Mercer Gang and Klay

Welcome, old sport!

Seems like almost everyone else has covered the good stuff for you. 

You a big Gatsby fan?

For the glory of Mercer Gang

Fuck you Milton

I wish Klay was here to see this...