Player Comments on The Story of Roxy and Al

Uh...I'm not sure what to make of this.

Clean up the spelling and grammar, definitely, but the issues go deeper than that. You're obviously creative but I'd recommend you sit down and write out the plot for your next story before writing it, this one just kind of goes all over the place, and it's hard to keep up with what's actually happening between all the kicking and punching and stabbing and murder. Which is a little weird in itself, considering otherwise this feels like it's written for and by a very young child.

I thought this was ok, there were a lot of grammar errors and the story could have been longer but the premise of a very good story game was here, it could have been expanded a lot more and definitely should have been proofread but it wasn't a bad read. I'll stop repeating myself now :P 3/8

This suffers from a considerable amount of grammatical errors. I strongly recommend putting more time into proofreading.

Oops
*Not too bad

Not bad.
I ran across a broken link though that kept looping when you try to shove him off you.