Fall3nHer0, The Reader

Member Since

2/12/2016

Last Activity

3/6/2016 8:20 PM

EXP Points

30

Post Count

3

Storygame Count

0

Duel Stats

0 wins / 0 losses

Order

Sage

Commendations

0

Hello everyone! I am Brandon, or Fall3nHer0, the king of bad writing. Of course, you might like my writing style, or you might not. Of course, I have not wrote anything, but still. When I do write something, constructive criticism will be allowed.

Storygames

Deadly Fortunes
unpublished


Recent Posts

What do you think of my story? on 2/21/2016 11:39:05 AM

So I was thinking about writing a story about a fortune cookie that predicts that a kids life is in danger. This is my idea for the first page.

It was a typical day in Bairdstown, a fictional diverse city in northern California. For 13-year-old Kyle Borovsky, this is the day that will change his life. His family is just returning home from Golden Lotus. As they are eating they fortune cookies, Kyle notices that his fortune is rather strange:

"Your life is in danger. Say nothing to anyone. You must leave the city immediately and never return. Repeat: Say nothing."

"Is this some kind of joke?" Kyle said to himself as he proceeds to throw his fortune in the garbage.

So what do you guys think? What do I need to work on, and would this be a good story? What should happen next? Also, this story might not end up being in third person, and I really do need a good name for a Chinese restaurant unless I can think of one before then. 

P.S: What genre would this go under?

 


Ideas for Story Game on 2/13/2016 2:52:31 PM

I am new to this website, and I would like to create a game. However, it's kind of hard for me to come up with ideas. I have an idea for the first page though.

It is just a boring afternoon (or you, anyway) in your quiet small town. You have lost all your friends due to you dropping out, and them moving to the big city, which has more opportunities. Of course, you'd move with them, but you don't have the money to do so, as nobody wants to hire a dropout. Also, in a town like this, there aren't many opportunities for you. As a result, you spend most of your life in loneliness.

As you are channel surfing, the news headline catches your eye. News reporter James Bowen is reporting [Insert Disaster or Whatever]....

What do you think guys? How could I improve, and what should the story be about based on this?


Ideas for Storygame on 2/12/2016 11:12:37 PM

First off, I would make sure that this makes sense at least. Wait, this could be a story on how not to write a story. This could be the first page, and go something like:

Rule 1: Make sure the plot actually makes sense or else people will think you're high.

It could be like Will11's How Not To Write-A Pokemon Adventure-Part 1-Chapter I - Section A: The Beginning of the Start except not as good.