Player Comments on Hastings, 1066: Aftermath
This is what happens when a good concept meets a competent writer.
A common error is thinking that to write something historically accurate you have to adopt the style of the time; this usually prevents the reader from understanding you and feeling involved in the story. Here instead the historical setting is interesting without feeling overbearing (apart from one or two repetitive descriptions of the Norman armor), and that's thanks to your clear and effective style that manages not to feel anachronistic.
There are minor typos here and there but the general grammar is good, and in well-written stories of this size you usually tend to overlook any errors.
The pace is balanced, usually fast but with some strategically placed descriptions to inform the reader. I usually have little patience for detailed descriptions of settings, so if I succeeded in reading through them without being bored, anyone can.
Regarding characters and plot, I got the "Irish Wolf" epilogue and I liked both Dierdre and the bits on Irish culture as a whole, while the English characters were never annoying even if conventional.
One of the only flaws for me was the whole "Your current relation with [character]: Awful/Excellent" at the end of the page that was used only twice, while the rest of the time the opinions of others probably influenced the story but weren't displayed in this way. Also, before attacking London from the South my character explains the plan to Eamon and then in the very next page proceeds to explain the exact same plan to Dierdre, resulting in the unnecessary repetition of a whole paragraph.
The story in itself feels quite linear in the sense that different branches end up the same, but that's not necessarily a bad thing.
All in all a very good story with an immersive atmosphere, 7/8.
on 9/23/2018 9:57:12 AM with a score of 39
This was absolutely great! I have had to save my current spot in the story as it is a 170K Monster! (I killed myself by attacking William in order to comment on this because it is great)
Concept: This story is obviously set in the Norman invasion of England. The development is spectacular although I would have liked to see a bit of a backstory that happens before the actual invasion. I like how you give the reader a good idea about the equipment and the landscape ETC Prior to the battle. Another positive thing is that, like most other stories, when violence occurs it often does not have many concepts of which are similar to the development of the protagonists' personalities. But in your story, when the battles occur, you do a good job of representing King Harold and Lord AeuthuflWulf's love in war, and their love of fighting.
Structure: In your story, most of the time only the major events that occur are written about. Most of the time minor details could have been shown to give the reader a better understanding of what they have to do. Also, it is quite linear and regardless of the choices that the reader makes they will usually end up in a similar place in which they would be as an effect of choosing something else.
Characters: You did a great Job at expressing the characters emotions and feelings towards certain events and situations. You were able to make it evident when a protagonist was feeling down or worried, or if they dislike someone else.
Details: You did a good job at giving detail to what you wrote, and the number of words that were in each page made it quite simple to read, this enables the reader to just be able to go straight ford in the story. But a lot of the time it is actually a bit too simple if you added more detail to the certain events that would have been great!
Grammar: Out of what I read in your story, I didn't pick up any mistakes, and as another comment; the flow of your writing really suited the timeline of events and it was really effective in showing what's happening.
Conclusion: In conclusion, I think that you did a great job on your story; also, great job on being commended by Mizal! I only noticed that recently, anyway... You don't need to take this whole comment seriously as I haven't read much of your story yet.
Overall rating: 6/8
on 8/21/2018 8:32:31 AM with a score of 15
I love historical fiction, and this is one of the best 'amateur' stories I've run into. Characters are believable and fleshed out. Very nice
on 3/14/2019 8:36:31 PM with a score of 15
Wow, just wow
on 3/14/2019 11:49:14 AM with a score of 39
-- jazel on 3/8/2019 1:13:40 PM with a score of 50
This is very good ! I can't be sure on what to choose as all are intriguing choices. I will play thin again once in while ! Gave it the highest rating !
-- Kuro on 3/7/2019 5:14:39 PM with a score of 23
This game is amazing, and as far as historical fiction goes, this is one of the best pieces I have ever played or read. I love the complexity of this game, and it deserves to be in the top five on this site, in my opinion. Keep up the good work, and I look forward to seeing what else you put out in the future.
on 3/5/2019 10:06:52 AM with a score of 43
Loved the non-Irish story the best! An excellent bit of story telling and highly recommended to all!
-- Robert Harrison on 3/1/2019 12:20:34 PM with a score of 45
Well worth playing! Well done story and the few grammatical errors are easily overlooked. Recommend it highly!
-- Robert Harrison on 3/1/2019 11:35:58 AM with a score of 50
First time through I was a dog, but second time through I beat William! An excellent game even though, as noted, it is not historical. Loved the choices and the results, a very well thought out story. Kudos to the author and I heartily recommend it to all!
-- Robert Harrison on 3/1/2019 10:59:31 AM with a score of 32
Enjoyed every moment of reading these flavor filled texts.
Managed to save my entire family from the Normans.
I don't know if there was a death option or if I was just lucky but I made it through my first reading without dying.
I even managed to become King of England until 1097 when I decided to abdicate.
All & all a wonderful story I would recommend reading.
on 2/20/2019 8:33:36 PM with a score of 50
Love it, just love it.
-- Nobody Special on 2/12/2019 8:17:43 PM with a score of 48
A wildly historically inaccurate romp through iron age England. Also inaccurate in regards to culture, arguably tactics, and only a little bit technologically. A good read.
on 2/6/2019 7:57:25 PM with a score of 35
It was too good!
-- Soham on 10/28/2018 6:53:46 AM with a score of 50
This was a brilliant story, I got the King of all England ending!
on 10/17/2018 4:18:39 PM with a score of 49
One of the best on the site
on 9/20/2018 9:37:48 PM with a score of 49
It’s pretty incredible how much this story branches out and yet how few death choices there are. In addition, despite how many paths there are, every one of them that I have gone through thus far are quite long. I’m leaving this review now to just point out one small inconsistency in the ending I just got. In Epilogue 12, it is mentioned that Orvyn and Garyn govern York whenever my character goes to Ireland. However, just 3 pages prior, it was said that I would never see Orvyn again because he hated me for poisoning the enemy army with a witch. Anyhow, once again, this is an epic work, and the author no doubt spent countless hours writing it. 7/8
on 9/17/2018 12:19:38 PM with a score of 35
Goddamn was this good.
on 9/15/2018 11:41:42 PM with a score of 8
on 9/14/2018 10:13:00 PM with a score of 50
I loved this from start to finish. It was so good, I finished it in one sitting. This was one of the first storygames I found on this site, and is a big part of why I'm still here. Thanks for writing such an amazing story, TheWriterInTheDark. I look forward to the next tale you have in store for us.
on 9/9/2018 11:14:28 PM with a score of 15
Epic. The content of the story is huge and the choices matter that can affect the future outcomes. The details of every event fascinated me to read further the story. The characters emotions and characteristics are also well written. Looking forward to your future works.
on 8/24/2018 7:17:00 AM with a score of 43