Player Comments on murder... it felt a little fun...

The options of changing font, text size, underlining, bolding and italicising words are options not essentials in a story and this writing hurt my eyes. From what I could decipher the plot has potential but the text needs standardising.

This story is... wacky.
The grammar reeks, the plot is okay, and the overall game is shit. 1/8
Pro-tips:
*Don't change the font and size every other paragraph. It makes the story look unappealing. Instant turnoff.
*More exposition, please! I hardly know the people I'm supposed to.
*Stop the cross-out words thing. It's annoying, it makes me want to slap you. Same goes for the grammar.

I can see the effort you put into this. This could have been better.

My first tip is to capitalize the pronoun "I" (pretty self explanatory).

Secondly, instead of telling us that the narrator is crying by writing "*sniffle*," you should instead show us she was sad. Go to lengths to actually show us.

Good job though, and I encourage you to write more.

Keep writing!

I am genuinely surprised this doesn't have a 1 yet.

As far as I know, it's impossible to say a smiley face.

Help me.
Save me from these storygames.

Again, I always try and give constructive feedback so:

Good: the message about not killing your friends is probably a good one. I can actually see a very engaging literary device being used in the story which impressed me, sadly the story itself is not good enough for the literary device to work and so it is lost.

Bad: Very short, disjointed, lack of detail. once more I see this being removed shortly.

In future try adding length and continuity to your stories/games. There is no problem with having more of a story with few branches so long as it is long enough to be engaging and that the description and story are of good enough quality. You attempted to use a nice literary device, whether on purpose or by accident. Either way that means you have promise, maybe just make sure you put more time into the next one?

Sorry, but no

I wish I had read this story before I murdered all my friends with a blunt razor, oh well.

Please, unpublish this game.

Well, you can't argue with the moral kids. Don't kill your friends... It's not nice. ^_^

Horrible

What makes this story really unreadable is that you didn't proofread at all.

No.

You spend more time on story than one day, or else you will never be doctor!

Wait, you're not Asian...

have fun and by the way, enjoy your reeses tm :D