Player Comments on September the 14th Part I

I really don’t know how this game is still up. It’s, in the kindest words possible, absolutely terrible. At least I got a free point.

Some spoilers below.

First of all, don’t introduce characters through showing a drawing of them. If it’s that important for the reader to know what they look like, describe them through writing.
The characters were one-dimensional and flat. I get that this is meant to be humorous, but that doesn't mean the characters should have zero personality.

I’d suggest expanding the scene where Tiff and Tuff are murdered, it’s an opportunity to give them actual character traits, flesh out their motivations, and give the reader a reason to care about (or despise) them. Actually, I’d suggest expanding pretty much every scene. It reads like a summary, with no detail or elaboration, and about two sentences per page.
Everything was clumped together in one paragraph in the early parts of the story, making it hard to decipher who was talking and what was happening. You need a paragraph break whenever the topic changes, or, in dialogue, the person speaking changes.

The girlfriend/boyfriend, (your name), he/she, stuff got tiring. Just assign the characters genders, it’ll make it much smoother to read.

The entire plot was lolrandom. It takes effort and good writing to make a lolrandom story decent, and there are other and better ways to make something funny. Just keep the story a bit more on the logical side for now.

It all, it was terrible and I don’t recommend it to anyone.

Well, I can see that some effort went into the making of this; I'll certainly give you that. But the entire creative purpose of this games seems to be to mock characters and programs designed for young children to begin with. Why exactly do you hate them, Deven711? This story leaves me with several questions, but I'll only ask the one that is eating at me the most: why did you create pages with links saying "Try to dodge it" and "Let it hit you"? Why on Earth would I allow a laser beam, bullet, etc. to strike me in the chest?! Also, do you truly only watch South Park for the foul language and such? That really isn't the point of watching a mature satirical cartoon, is it?

Anyway, I suppose the problem is that you and I do not share the same sense of humor, so I suppose I simply can't appreciate your comedic stories. I have given this a 5/8 for pacing and effort, though.

I was actually laughing a bit while reading this! It brought so much excitement to me and I’m glad it wasn’t so boring.

So, I played this as a kid, which I thought this the best thing ever but as a 20-something, I can say it holds up.

Which is why I gave it a 1 for being number one.

This game and I are about the same age. I don't know which one is the most mature.

not the best

HuMaNiTy Is BeAuTiFul

it's fucking nice! hahahahahaha!: pathetic tif; and stupid tuf! they all died!

i loved it.
it was long and entertaning
i recomend it

What is this?

Meh. Needs more paths

Dora was fricken great as a bad guy

I cant... I just cant. So many HOLY **** and so will your gay monkey. I was laughing sooo...... hard.

lol,8/8

Srsly you criticize every kids show possible wow u have no life

Something tells me you highly dislike barney

Epic. Insane. I love it.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- *Dies of laughter. Is revived* -HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is hilarious! I just shot everything and i got the epic monster rocket jet ending.

HAHAHAHA!!!!!!! VERY FUNNY!!!!!!

I could have written something like this when I was a kid.

well I've gotta say this is atleast an improvement from your last game about killing off the kirby show. There was a wide variety of choices, but really confusing at times as to what's happening. The writing was pretty poor aswell.

Cool! Nice story. Lots of violence. Like it!

Too Long, Too Boring, My GF left without being told. And I Like Kirby and PPG

Yeah I...

That was a wierd story and you have an unfinished page.

What the... STUPID BARNEY!
Barny you,you killed me!

this was so boring, i just kept clicking till the game ended.. Didnt bother reading anything

What the hell is this.

Its long and boring

great story, very entertaining.

Meh, alright, though I won it pretty easy and, to be honest those "let it hit you" options were retarded. But it passed time, I suppose.

Wow good.

The game is fairly linear... more of an visual novel then an choose-your-own-adventure but a decent at that.

.....interesting.....

lol i hope to read hundreds more fof this story

DID I SHOOT THEM YET?

too simple minded

LOLLL, i loved it. random as crap. Really linear, but seeing all my childhood shows die was funny XD I didn't like you killing sailor moon and team though, but oh well XD on to the next.^_^i liked all of these shows at one point in my childhood, except for teletubbies XD!!! and i had only heard of cubix.nice nogstalic twist!

powpuff girls r gay

nice

KILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well, it was almost halfway to half-decent...

woooooooooooooo barneys dead!

I'm not sure which is worse; your pathetic attempts at humor, your card board cut-out characters, or your inability to form coherent sentences. Either way, according to my math, this all adds up to one lousy story. Sorry, but it doesn't deserve the five it has.

Yep....still sucks. 1/8.

i loved anialating retarted 4 year old show charcters. i LOVED killing dora

First of all, Blue is a girl dog. Second, how do you know all of this stuff about moronic T.V. shows unless you watch them?

I didn't like all the violence but I'll give it a 4 for the effort.

Awesome game! But you forgot about going into the forest after killing Chase. It was still a good game. Nice job!

This was hilarious! I haven't even heard of some of these shows, and still I enjoyed every minute. Everyone I shot exploded! The pace was fast, which was great, and Mr. T was in it. Anything with freekin' Mr. T is okay by me. Excellent work!

I LOVE YOUR GAMES! This is a fairly fantastic one too. NICE.

I hate all the shows that were in this game except for Back To the Future and South Park. I really think this game belongs in Fan Fiction but it was OK. Better than the Kirby game at least...

LOL I didnt get far, but I can see this game was very good!

Wow! What a satisfying way to kill off those two annoying brats from Kirby! I love this!

it is a good game

IT THE BEST

it is the best

yo it sock

you do a great job with these games

lovely and funny

Its now Rated

This game could of been better. But i'm new here so its the very first game. Think of me as the opposite of my big brother. JJJ-thebanisher.

WE BEAT THERE ASSES BY 100000060 POINTS!!!! W00T W00T

It was meant to be funny? I guess? 2/10. It sucked. Why all the fuss for these games?

Nice! Took me a couple of tries but I got it!

wowza? Good game

That is wierd. I like long games.

So, Deven, I tried your game, & it was AWESOME!!! I have this crazy idea for a 3D game you should make, but it includes taking on everything evil & a Metal Toff. Also, since I tend to think about slashing Tiff into two, I think what would happen if they seperate into the current version & a version that hates crappy shows & is willing to kill the other one. Sounds like a crappy sci-fi flick.

THIS IS THE MOST AWESOME GAME EVER!

oh my god I just killed every cartoon character known to man! that game was soooo fun, and I laughed so hard at the commercials! thanks for the awesome game... might need to take a break b4 part 2...

Wow, that was long and very entertaining I will play part 2, it was also funny, like the south park commercial for the wacky wild trike, that's impossible to ride. I loved that in that south park episode.

That was funny, wierd, and kinda sick. I LOVED IT!

yay it's the funniest game i ever played here

i actually like this game. it isnt the greatest out there but it has a few things going for it. its a very long game, rare on this site, its got a somewhat interesting story line, and you kill retarded cartoon characters. although i would have went after southpark. but i like it just the same.

Please leave comments about the game! I want it to be a hit! It's also the third game I ever published. That Indians game was the second one. Anyway, I hope you liked it! It's a very long game!