Player Comments on The Jungle Book
I’ve enjoyed a lot to follow William on his adventures, battling with his family, typical British Empire subjects, and other ones, and meeting interesting people!
Nice to have a say in the story too!
A few incongruities, but the story generally holds itself together..
Having tried the different options, some quickly come to the same outcome.
-- Marie-Claire on 8/30/2020 1:00:41 PM with a score of 3
interesting and unpredictable, very well researched
-- penguin on 8/30/2020 12:02:20 PM with a score of 1
There were a few grammatical errors ; very small in detail however. Overall a good read!
-- Jezzaaz on 8/30/2020 11:45:03 AM with a score of 0
Absolutely topping. Completely engrossed in the story, felt like we were there. Very descriptive and imaginative. Nice one!
-- Emdizzlewizzledawg on 8/14/2020 5:28:21 PM with a score of 3
Alright this story wasn't the worst thing I've ever read. It wasn't the best either. I think that is in large part to do with me not being a huge fan of the setting. I mean the setting was okay, but I don't find the idea of going into a jungle to track down a ape that exciting myself. I mean half the game isn't even in the jungle! Also there is the name. Why? It doesn't seem to be a good idea in any regard. This isn't a fan fiction so I'm unsure why you would name it after a famous movie. There is also the font. I didn't hate it as much as mizal did, but I wasn't that big of a fan of it.
So the branching was the most okay thing about this story. At the start there are many paths, and while they all end pretty early besides the one that takes you into the jungle, they are there and have a lot of endings between them. I think it was about 8, which is really impressive. Now inside the jungle you make all these desiseons, and one path is clearly the true ending, where you find the beast. There are so many endings in this story, and it's pretty impressive given the word count.
There is also the protag. I like his background, and how he wants to break free. A noble who feels restriced and wants to look for a beast. The story has an okay set up, but the setting wasn't really for me.
In conclusion, this story wasn't really for me. I liked the story, but I didn't really love it. It was put together pretty well, but it just wasn't for me. I'm sure there are other people who will get more enjoyment out of this than me, and for that I'm giving this story a ?
on 7/26/2020 12:26:29 AM with a score of 1
Before I get into the story--which I enjoyed and recommend if anybody just wants to stop here and go read it--I want to take a moment to address some matters of presentation. The title is one thing. I'm not sure naming this after a famous book ALSO about a jungle in India during the same time period is drawing a comparison you want.
When I first skimmed through this on mobile there was no issue, but sitting down to go over it more thoroughly on the computer, the font changes made the text so tiny I had to crank the magnification up to like 130% to read it comfortably. I was a little curious just HOW tiny you'd set the font, so I took a little peek in edit mode and see this:
<p><span style="font-size:12pt"><span style="font-family:"Times New Roman","serif""><span style="font-size:10.0pt"><span style="font-family:"Georgia","serif"">As the boat chugs sluggishly up the river, you gaze around in wonder. It's exactly how you imagined it, ever since you read that letter...</span></span></span></span></p>
GAAAH! It is filthy, just FILTHY. It is UNCLEAN. GET IT AWAY. And furthermore this is what using the rich text editor for font changes did to EVERY SINGLE paragraph. So just an fyi for future reference, you can turn that off in your profile. Most people do because of the various annoying little glitches it can cause in writing and formatting. Fonts for the entire story can actually be controlled with a single global script.
Well anyway I was shook af, but managed to move on. I'll just point out also though that there are pages here and sometimes random portions of pages where the text is set specifically to black, another thing the RTE does if you're copying over from Google docs or some other writing programs. This is annoying for those of us using dark mode from the extension.
The story itself, as I said, I enjoyed it. If anything I felt like it could've easily been three times as long. There's this whole town that could have been explored and a wide open jungle with everything set up for ADVENTURE, but ultimately we get funneled to the same places. Even the 'boring' path of agreeing to run the plantation could have had some interesting choices involved instead of just immediately leading to the ending we got. (But I assume the contest deadline was a factor here and that more may have been planned.)
Just in general to the smallish scale the story takes place on was a bit of a disappointment though. Isaac in one path mentions he hasn't seen another Englishman in years, that seems promising...and yet meet him another way and he claims the village is routinely robbed by the British. And something about an isolated jungle village being a few hours from town >>> close enough to routinely be bullied by soldiers >>> a few hours from the lair of a mythical ape >>> walking randomly into the jungle from a different location will lead you to the exact same village, made it all feel a little like a boxed in RPG map instead of EPIC ADVENTURE IN MYSTERIOUS JUNGLE. There could've been all kinds of crazy characters hanging around in town you could've set up some kind of proper expedition with, and all kinds of mishaps befalling a guy dumb enough to stroll straight into the jungle right off the boat from England.
The opening page runs a little long and is entirely backstory and exposition, I worry that may scare some readers off. It might've worked as more of a hook to start it off and given a little more insight into the character to begin with a more active scene. Maybe the actual argument with the father? The background could be worked in as you were packing to leave and uncertain of the future. Tonally there were parts of the story that may have been a little muddled too. We went from this amusing portrayal of the British and the perpetually scandalized neatfreak aunt and uncle in particular, to this sudden brutal whipping scene. It might have been better to double down on one approach or another.
If you want to go the realism route in future writings, there's certainly enough resources out there, it's a very well well documented time period with loads of first hand accounts. (https://dcc.newberry.org/collections/living-in-british-colonial-india and https://www.quora.com/What-was-life-like-in-British-India may both be good places to start. The first quora answer by Ashutosh Mehndiratta is extensive to say the least, and there's some posters there who were able to give accounts they heard from their grandparents. There's there's also everything Kipling wrote and an RPG called Kim set in that era if you want a more fun and bite sized approach...the latter currently just $5 on GOG.)
I was hesitant to bring 'realism' into this review since I knew this would turn into a big autistic derail, but bear with me. I already mentioned on the forums the fact you tipped an ENORMOUS sum of money to the boatman (100 rupees = 100 shillings, you can look up the spending power that represented easily enough.) The climate and the food would've been a much bigger shock to Our Hero, cholera and smallpox would've been a major risk (I'm not sure it was needed to have the seemingly perfectly spry uncle break down and die of old age after just a few months, when there were so many other ways India is known for when it comes to killing Europeans...), and I'm afraid that no you would not be finding people in a 19th century Indian marketplace to feed you butter chicken.
Indian was and is a melting pot of such a staggeringly varied number of cultures and traditions, I wish the little glimpses we had of the town and plantation had offered more of this. Even the Jaroha tribe (who are several times referred to as the Jarawa, btw) seem a little too generically like the OTHER kind of 'Indians' at times.
I liked the Jaroha a whole lot though, which is good when the story spends so much time with them. I did laugh a little when the life or death outcome came down to whether you'd been willing to choke down a pig eyeball or not. I just wish so much hadn't been confined to summarization in epilogues though...I'd have liked to meet the woman he marries in the story itself, or gone back to England to give an interview on my amazing find, or had to make actual decisions related to expanding the plantations or not (running up against an angry mythical ape while overseeing the clearing of some of its habitat? There's a lot of possibility there...).
Looking back this review contains a lot of nitpicking, but I want to be clear that my impression was overall very positive. I'm happy my contest led to this being written but at the same time an expanded version would make my day.
The writing itself was very good aside from the strange and exotic language of Britain making reading it such a struggle, my word I have never encountered a superfluous U in my life and was quite shocked! O.O If only people from other countries would publish books or use the internet once in awhile, it might give the rest of us time to acclimate.
on 7/12/2020 9:46:26 AM with a score of 3
I really enjoyed this game. Very well written. I definitely got invested with the story, the setting and the characters. Also, spelling and grammar were great and replayability was decent.
To be honest, I found the hidden tribe a lot more interesting than the bones of some random big monkey, and once I joined the tribe, finding the monkey bones didn't really seem particularly important. Still, I felt obliged to go looking for them, since that's kind of the point of the game. But to be honest, I kind of wish I could've gotten to know the villagers better instead of pissing off King Kong.
That said though, it's definitely an impressive first game. Great job. ^_^
on 7/6/2020 3:36:13 PM with a score of 3
I enjoyed this quite a lot, always interested to see old timey portrayals of English toffs :)
on 7/6/2020 1:05:46 AM with a score of 0
Wasnt really a fan of the weird spelling
on 7/5/2020 12:31:51 PM with a score of 0