Player Comments on Underground to Canada
I liked this storygame, and it wasn't bad at all. It is very good for your first storygame and I'm sure you received a nice grad for it as well. I do have some issues with it, but I understand that (as it's a project is sue at a set time) that you were limited by your teacher in creating this. Now that's this is over, I advise updating it for a better rating.
I think that your individual sentences could be improved, and one way to do so is to combine some of them into one. They are all short and make the writing choppy, with no flow or structure.
There were some moments where choosing an option was like choosing a path blind. There was no clue as to what would happen in some cases, but there was one where you hinted that staying behind could possibly get you caught, so that was better.
There is a few mistakes in spelling in grammar, so a bit of proofreading and maybe someone else's help with that can get the job done. Remember to always check over you work so that you're completely sure you didn't miss/mess up anything.
on 2/26/2017 9:48:46 PM
-- no on 10/16/2017 7:11:35 PM
It was really fun!!!
-- Kat on 10/11/2017 4:00:46 PM
Interesting. More options might make it even better!
on 1/12/2017 1:21:33 PM
I got stuck in a loop.
on 12/16/2016 4:32:31 PM
I have dedicated my entire life to the Reese's name, and have loved it more than anything. I married into the Reese's family, and it is where all my pride stems from. In addition, my favorite part of the Reese's brand is the Reese's Cup. I never thought anything could ever top it-that is until now. Me and my son Reese Reese's absolutely loved this adventure, this and empty Reese's cup wrappers are the only things we bond over anymore (hes a fucking douchebag"
-- Reese's Cups on 6/10/2016 6:41:39 PM
great book but its a bit to easy and short for my tasre but still a great book non the less but overall i liked it though changes could be made.
-- Samuel on 4/17/2016 12:09:34 PM
on 11/12/2015 6:14:47 PM
You get on the underground rail road and sleep, then win. A little short for my liking but still good.
on 5/12/2015 1:01:41 PM
I believe my rating was correct
-- Me on 11/7/2014 4:05:55 PM
Getting stuck picking cotton seems to be a never-ending loop.
on 9/2/2014 7:05:27 PM
ya know i read UTC too and adam was not julilys brother
on 6/2/2013 11:32:53 PM
It is very short and the lack of choices pissed me off,but it still very good for a first!
on 4/12/2013 6:51:59 AM
I think I got the best ending. :] Will the story be different if I chose a different name?
on 4/7/2013 1:50:05 AM
i liked it. The story was brief but involved 6/8
on 4/5/2013 9:47:33 PM
Rather well written, if a little linear.
on 4/2/2013 6:53:03 AM
A bit forced but quite entertaining. I also think it should be in edutainment category.
Of course larger amount of flavor text and more choices would be nice. Especially because some of the choices are quite obvious. Like the one with the rebellion. Or trusting people (not getting into more spoilers).
Also nice use of pictures.
on 3/28/2013 9:31:01 AM
Fun a little short but I am a bit confused why this is in everything else seems to me like it could just as easily fit in endutainmant or how you say it.
on 3/28/2013 2:04:18 AM
Very good for a school project :)
on 3/27/2013 10:13:41 PM