BerkaZerka, The Million Word Malkavian

Member Since


Last Activity

2/25/2017 7:28 PM

EXP Points


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Storygame Count


Duel Stats

0 wins / 0 losses


Sage Exemplar



Mind's Eye USA





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Trophies Earned

Earning 100 Points Earning 500 Points Earning 1,000 Points Earning 2,000 Points Earning 5,000 Points Administrative contributions. Having 3 Storygame(s) Featured Posting 10524 Forum Posts Rated 100.0% of all Stories Given by alexp on 02/22/2013 - For being all-around awesome! Given by BerkaZerka on 01/09/2017 - In memorial of mustache wars long long ago~ Given by EndMaster on 05/31/2013 - For Dead Man Walking, Dungeon Stompage and whatever other cool stories you end up creating. Given by JJJ-thebanisher on 10/14/2013 - Great site presence and top notch AE usage Given by madglee on 04/04/2014 - Exceptional stories and great moderator! Great work, BZ! Enjoy. Given by Sethaniel on 06/14/2014 - Great moderator, amazing game-maker. Given by Will11 on 01/15/2017 - For the fantastic stories, amazing scripting and overall contributions to the site


Chuck Norris Quiz

How well do you know the Incredible Facts About The Awesome Chuck Norris?

25 Questions with Scoring

Featured Story Cows vs. Aliens!

Farmer Brown is on vacation and it's up to Fernando El Fantastico the Bull (that's you!) to save his Herd when Aliens come to harvest them!

(by playing draw poker against a horde of moronic alien invaders!)

Special Thanks to Killa_Robot for playtesting feedback - This Meep's For him! ^v^

Crab Arena!

You are Crab Trainer X! Choose your Crustacean Combatant and Battle for Glory in Crab Arena! The Championship Belt is within your Grasp! Can You Do It? Hell Yes You Can!

Now GO!!!


How To Play

Fight 3 Round Battles with 4 Opponents; and then a 5 Round Battle with the Final Opponent. Each Round you choose an Attack and an Elemental Focus to power it.
CLAW HAMMER beats Body Slam / BODY SLAM beats Double Snip / DOUBLE SNIP beats Claw Hammer
FIRE consumes Air / WATER puts out Fire / EARTH soaks up Water / AIR blows away Earth
A Color-Coded Bar shows the results between the Attacks and Focuses: Green = Win; Yellow = Draw; Red = Lose
Your Attack determines who Wins the Round; the Elemental Focus determines how much Damage you will take and how many Power Points you will gain. Your Wins and Losses at the end of each Battle determine whether you advance or go down in flames.

Featured Story Dead Man Walking (Zombie Survival)

Can you survive the Zombie Apocalypse? While challenging, it's not as hard as the movies would have you believe - where they always make the worst possible decisions for the sake of drama. At least here, you will be offered logical choices amid the foolhardy and your character cares about survival even more than you do. A serious game with gory detail.

Cameos (try to find them all!)
Aman: Hairy bearded sledge guy
applegirl: Coffee mug zombie teen
Betaband: Neighbor’s fish tank brought to you by Betaband
CovElite: The Cannibal Gaunt Zombie
EndMaster: A survivor tells about seeing a black hooded man walking among the zombie hordes and directing them like death itself
Fireplay: A madman with a taste for fire
JMgskills: A zombie wearing a red shirt with the logo “YOU DIED – END GAME.”
Marmotlord: A School Mascot on the run
playa988: A rather short, buzz-cut, zombie in a baggy white t-shirt and jeans that gets sniped
simplesabley: Tomboy survivor girl
SindriV: A mysterious corpse in the street
Solxd7: A police officer shit out of luck
Swiftstryker: Zombie in a speedo
ThisisBo: An oddly “talkative” zombie not terribly interested in eating brains
ugilick: Karate kicking conquistador

Special Thanks To:
Aman; AtomicWaste; blob; Briar_Rose; HoraceTorys; MBrock; playa988; ugilick

(For their invaluable feedback and playtesting efforts!)

Featured Story Dungeon Stompage!

An Item and Character-Stat driven Dungeon Adventure Challenge! Can you survive the perils, defeat the monsters, and win the game?


Special Thanks To:

JMgskills, simplesabley; betaband; Swiftstryker; madglee; October; & urnam0 (who found a second solution to the puzzle chest)

(For their invaluable feedback and playtesting efforts!)

Kill Aman's Mustache

Do you have what it takes to survive the Wrath of Aman's Mustach of Doom?

Are you clever enough to outwit a Penguin with a mallet? Are you man enough to wear a phony mustache? Are you Anime enough to put on a Pikachu suit and head to Vegas?

Find Out Now, In: Kill Aman’s Mustache!

A horror(ble) puzzle of hairy implications with a side of lice...

Note that embedded audio requires windows media player plug-in to hear. You will likely be prompted to allow it if you don't already have it installed.
(Please don't be mean and Rate this game poorly just because it’s a worthless piece of crap. Seriously - you will totally hurt the feelings of the thirteen year old orphan schoolgirl from Korea that I hired to write this and who has very little grasp of grammar and doesn’t speak any Engrish and is dying of toenail cancer – you heartless brutes.)


The King's Logic Puzzle


The king has proposed a contest of intellect.
You have a balance scale and twelve identical looking spheres of gold - except that one is either heavier or lighter than all the rest. Using the scale and only 3 measurements, you must determine which is the 'odd ball' and whether it is lighter or heavier.
If you fail, you get to be court jester for a month. The king has a terrible sense of humor - trust me; you don't want to be court jester (even for just a month). It's part of the reason he holds this contest. It's the only way he can get anyone to 'sign-up' for the job.
If you can correctly guess the 'odd ball,' but not whether it's lighter or heavier than all the others, you get to go free.
But if you can get the right ball AND figure out whether it's lighter or heavier - you get to keep all twelve spheres of gold. They're worth a small fortune - enough to buy your own keep - which would raise you up from lowly Surf to rich Landowner in the blink of an eye.
What do you have to lose - except your dignity...


A Penguin's Fairy Tale

You are 'Penguin,' a small stuffed toy owned by a little girl named Sarah. You love Sarah very much and Sarah loves you. You know this, because Sarah says so quite often. You are Sarah's favorite toy.


Five Pin Code

The following is a 'How To It Guide,' for building a Five Pin Pass Code into your game for the purpose of pass-coding Unlockables, Game Sequels, or the like.

Articles Written

How to use On-Page Variable Tricks
The following discusses the use of the On-Page Variable Code (it literally goes right on the Page in the Story Editor, as opposed to Scripting, which goes into the Scripting Boxes).

Recent Posts

Three Year Anniversity on 2/25/2017 7:27:17 PM
You're kidding?

I'm Newwww on 2/25/2017 7:25:54 PM

ello m8's!! on 2/25/2017 7:25:14 PM

New member on 2/24/2017 12:18:36 PM

Hi guys, new here on 2/24/2017 12:17:20 PM

Draw a cat! on 2/24/2017 12:14:23 PM
Wha... ? That's creepy haha!

EndMaster’s Edgelord Contest on 2/24/2017 12:01:54 PM
The whole thing sounds like what the freeform role players geek out over, when writing up their character sheets. Of course the crap they spew once play actually starts, doesn't stack near as high as you've managed. Well done! Somewhat disappointed in the glaring lack of blood grooves however... ;)

The Call of PikaChulu on 2/22/2017 6:24:35 PM
"Ouch!" Nurse Joy yelled, after having her big toe pinched. "Shoo, shoo!" She continued trying to get the Krabby to leave, by feebly throwing pokeballs at it, while Chansey waddled over to assist her, attempting to bitch-slapping the hell out of it! The Krabby scuttled away from Nurse Joy - who managed to hit the rowboat with her pokeballs - and was too fast for Chansey to actually slap. It looked like it was going to flee into the water, but nurse Joy just rubbed her injured toe with her hand, before calmly walking over and picking up her pokeballs - content to ignore the Krabby now that it was no longer bothering her. "I guess that Krabby was in an awfully crabby mood," she joked (poorly). Seeing that Nurse Joy was not interested in the prize, Officer Jenny yelled, "Yay go me!" and threw a pokeball at the retreating crustacean. "Geodude, use seismic toss!" Brock pointed towards the krabby, and moved to physically touch the krabby with his pokeball in order to capture it (after Officer Jenny did her thing and inevitably failed of course). Amazingly, Officer Jenny managed to hit the Krabby square in the face with her... pink fuzzy slipper... (where the heck did that come from?!?) Looking at her belt, Officer Jenny saw that she was missing two pokeballs - one of which had apparently been swapped out with the slipper she just threw. Geodude meanwhile, used Seismic Toss as Krabby uses Guillotine. In a great clash, Geodude was deflected off the huge red claw and then completely walloped and very nearly KO'd! Brock noted that he only had two pokeballs at the moment too - though (unlike Officer Jenny's throw) the one he has in hand actually hits, as he simply sneaks up to the Krabby and touches him with it. The Krabby was drawn into the pokeball, but immediately popped back out. Officer Jenny then threw out Growlithe! "Go Growlithe, show that Krabby not to mess with the law! That little bugger stole two of my pokeballs, DONT LET HIM GET AWAY!" "YOU THERE!" She said, pointing to Pikachu, "GET THE THIEF!" "Oh dear, he stole your pokeballs?" Nurse Joy asked in a concerned tone. "Chansey, try and get them back for Officer Jenny!" Nurse joy then began throwing pokeballs at the Krabby once again, yelling: "Stop right there, or I'll throw even more pokeballs at you!" "PIKACHU!!!" Pikachu shouted, sending an arc of lightning - followed by actually throwing a pokeball the Krab. Unsure what to do meanwhile, Ash just threw one of his pokeballs at the krabby to, not wanting to be left out. Officer Jenny tried to get another throw at the Krabby, but just fumbled around in too much of a hurry. Nurse Joy tossed yet another Pokeball and missed by a mile (she really does throw like a girl). Chansey meanwhile, threw an Egg Bomb at Krabby - which exploded yolk all over the poor thing and stunning it a moment. Pikachu then Thunder Shocked it again and flipped a pokeball at the Krabby, before Brock could to get close enough to touch the Krabby with his own once again. The Krabby was drawn into Pikachu's pokeball and captured! Pikachu quickly grabbed up his new Pokemon and did a little victory dance.

Administrative PM Override on 2/22/2017 9:13:45 AM
Admin and Mods should be able to PM all members, regardless of whether they have elected to turn PMs off. (This Idea stolen from EndMaster)

February Flash Fiction Contest Feedback Thread on 2/21/2017 8:53:32 PM
Well that was a neat non-entry bucky - it was enough to make me want to know more about not only how it had gotten to that point, but what the ensuing consequences would be!