An allegory.

Author's note: the title of this story is actually The Fire, but someone else already created a storygame with that title, so I couldn't give it the title that I wanted. My second choice for the title was The Light, but another person already took that title as well, so, if you don't mind, just pretend that the title of this story is The Fire.

A story set in medieval China.

Note: Even early on in the game you can lose by making a strategically erroneous choice so choose carefully.

I just wanted to say that Story B is one of the better Thunderdome entries that I have read.

The same is also true if you click on the thread titles in the Last Post section on the right side from the main "Forums" page (though it does take you directly to the newest post if you click on the title in the Last Post section from each individual subforum itself).

Story A:

Good, solid story under competition conditions. The action scenes were the best, and I wished there were more of them. There were a lot of small things that could have been improved, but you can't expect a perfect story with such little time. The biggest weakness was that it wasn't clear that Yelas was on the boat when Remol was conducting the floating test ritual- I had thought that Yelas had been standing on the ground the whole time.

Story B:

Decent story under competition conditions. The beginning and end were good, while the middle was mediocre. The writing was worse than that of Story A. The tone was inconsistent and a lot of stuff just straight up didn't make sense. The vocabulary was good, at least.

My vote is for Story A.

I just wanted to shout out a little hidden gem that I played many years ago titled Out of Order.

It's a freeware game, but complete in every way. You might still be able to play it if you know your way around computers.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Out_of_Order_(video_game)

https://www.myabandonware.com/game/out-of-order-dxa

Edit: Sam and Max was fun, too.

https://chooseyourstory.com/story/de-milite-inprudenti

with the mc deciding to re-engage with her parents being written in a suprisingly realistic manner compared to what came before

On a personal note I have to wonder why the mc of Story A didn't have any desire to keep using the type writer...feels rather strange to suggest at the end that she just abandoned it for no reason like that...

Did ... did you read the ending wrongly?

Story A

Good:

1. Plotting

2. Dialogue- it was natural and well-tagged

Bad:

1. Punctuation

Ugly: 

1. Lack of overall polish that makes some parts come off as an outline or pre-draft notes instead of a written story

Not too long ago, her father asked Britney to clean the attic, the one chore of the month he assigned to her. It never got cleaned. Instead, she stuffed his gift to her up there without any intention of going back to it. Now, she finds herself walking up to it, slowly and deliberately. She set it on a small table facing the attic window, with a bean bag seat opposite to it. It made the space more comfortable. More importantly, it let the thing see the outside world rather than spend its days in darkness.

Take this paragraph, for example. There was way too much repetition of the word it, along with no transition between the attic and typewriter antecedents.

The ending was good, but I think that it would have been a less predictable and better twist ending for Britney to win in a final fight against the typewriter and, in the end, not really learning any lessons and destroying the typewriter or something like that, in a bleaker ending of sorts.

Story B

Good:

1. Word choice

2. Phrasing

3. More polished writing than Story A, and more complete than Story C

Ugly:

1. Confusing ending- I still don't quite understand what happened at the end there. I'm trying my best to glean some sort of satisfying conclusion from this story, but just keep coming up empty.

I would have voted for it if not for the ending, a major issue that marred an otherwise good story.

Story C

Good:

1. A more dramatic premise than the other two

2. Better pacing, with no slow-paced paragraphs that were found in the other two stories

3. Descriptiveness

4. Vocabulary

Bad:

1. Gasps don't rumble

Ugly:

1. Incompleteness, obviously

2. Tense change midway through for no reason

I enjoyed the writing of Story C the most. I also enjoyed reading each ----------- as a colorful curse word. I pictured a smartphone for the final box.

I guess I enjoyed Story A the most overall, mostly by dint of its solid story structure and being complete, so I'll vote for Story A, but C and B could have easily won had they fixed their correctable flaws.

Story B.

How about the writing of a cameo appearance for the winner into your next story, or whenever a character based on or at least named after the winner becomes feasible?

Maybe Rogues.