The Flame

This story definitely had a premise that was rather interesting and ambiguous to say the least. I feel that the writing for the most part was very descriptive and the imagery with your words was there, and it was those very aspects that kept me reading from the beginning.

Though the writing in this was crafted quite well, and the story that was told wasn't one that I would consider dull at all, I do believe that perhaps the writer could have gave the reader a bit more of a bigger leash in a sense. Because it really felt like I was being strung along with the plot, and the choices that were given felt like they were ones that were artificial at best, not really effecting the story that was being told in any meaningful way. Still, this was a story that kept me reading because I did found that it had strong points in the ambiguity of its narrative at times.

From a technical standpoint, I feel that this story did excel in facets such as its grammar and wordplay. Through some things may have been vague, I feel that it was done well enough and it was certainly fascinating to keep and hold my attention while I read through it. So this was a pretty good job in my opinion, not bad at all.

There are times in which a writer's story makes me interested in reading any other piece of writing that they may have written, or perhaps they leave me looking forward to another storygame from them. In any case, I am happy to say that this seems to be the case, as the overall presentation of this story was one that was quite fascinating to read.

Looking forward for more from you, urnam.

A unique and very compelling idea, but the illusion of choice is a bit of a bother. An excuse could be that no matter what path we take we always have a fate lined up for us. That would've been an interesting idea if it had been executed well. Unfortunately it just forces you into taking the option that the author wants you to.

Overall, could be improved greatly upon but I think the concept is great.

Let's just say that a lot of literary analysis had to be done to make the story good. Though, when interpreted into actual text, it is enjoyable, simpler readers will have trouble trying to find any entertainment from this overly simplistic story. I'm not sure if adding descriptions of your surroundings, your characters, and so forth will actually detract from the messages you've oh so cleverly placed in here, but I do suggest not giving your readers a wall of bland text to read.

um ok its useless

i really liked it....and then the ending. 1/8

I rated a 6. It is very obviously full of some very interesting symbolism, and you are an excellent writer. My only complaint would be that there was not quite enough depth to the story. However, I absolutely look forward to reading more of your work, and you have great potential.

just...amazing

An interesting story although I wish the funnel had been wider to start and provided at least the illusion of choice. It could be improved upon but is deserving an honorable mention.

nice story! would be better tho if u added more choices.but then again it is in progress! keep it up! :)

Spoiler!!!!! I don't really know what to rate this. It's just one big circle then? What's the point?