Player Comments on Adventure through time
This... IS ONE OF THE WORST PIECES OF SHIT ON THIS SITE!!! To put it lightly. But in all seriousness, I couldn't care less if this was your first game. You put no effort into it and the outcome was a boring and irritating game that should not exist. There are much better first storygames on this site that are good.
And the problem isn't your creativity or your writing. Anyone can dream up something better than this. It just takes one other thing that was absent during the creation of this game: TIME. Not even bringing up effort here. Time was all you needed to change my rating from a 1/8 to a 2 or 3. (Yes I'm aware there's a time machine, just don't bother with the pun.)
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SonicTurboTurtle
on 3/18/2016 10:36:18 PM with a score of 5
I am sorry that it is the worst possible game ever I only made it in XLT because I was bored so I know that it is horrible
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Flowerlynx
on 3/18/2016 9:12:07 PM with a score of 5
Read below if stuck
'Use' the diamond once you get it in your inventory.
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Flowerlynx
on 3/18/2016 9:10:08 PM with a score of 5
I'm sorry guys but after all it is my first storygame and I know that it is terrible :(
-_- I feel bad now after reading all of the comments.
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Flowerlynx
on 3/18/2016 9:08:30 PM with a score of 5
Yeah, this is...a thing, that you published all right.
There might be nearly as many words in that extremely off putting description right there as there are in the entire game. Though the description at least gives you some idea of what it's supposed to be about, I'd have no idea otherwise.
There's just nothing going on here so I really can't give this anything but a 1. It being your first game has nothing to do with anything...next time, spare yourself the trouble of putting in the all caps disclaimer and put that effort into writing a more interesting game.
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Mizal
on 3/18/2016 3:04:31 PM with a score of 5
Okay, I see three problems.
1)It felt EXTREMELY rushed. One of the pages simply said "This is a new page." No details?! What gives?
2) EXTREMELY EXTREMELY SHORT! Waaay to short. It made it feel extremely rushed.
3) Even if it's your first storygame, it's no excuse to rush the story. Some of the grammar was off, too.
So, what can I say to fix this?
I will give you the Story Prescription of:
Do not rush.
...That's it. Simple.
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mattstat716
on 3/18/2016 12:25:33 PM with a score of 0
Automatic game over links are never, ever a good thing.
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Kiel_Farren
on 3/18/2016 2:10:32 AM with a score of 0
Mmmmmkay.
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MasonJarGuzzi
on 3/18/2016 1:08:27 AM with a score of 0
This had a hopeful premise and I was hoping it'd be a bit like Horrible Histories meets Blackadder Back and Forth. Absolutely nothing happened in the past option though except I came, I saw, I grabbed the big shiny diamond (which incidentally used to be British policy when visiting foreign countries). You have a good idea but I'd rewrite the whole thing, cut out words like "duh" and "grab dat" and put in a few puzzles, a few descriptions of funny or gross historical stuff etc...
Your story however has given me an idea for something to write once I've finished my Magellan series though...
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Will11
on 3/17/2016 10:08:49 PM with a score of 0
It was indeed very short. I also couldn't help but notice that travelling to the past and travelling to the future seemed to lead to the exact same outcome, which makes me wonder why you bothered to give us the choice in the first place.
If you're going to use a time travel mechanic, a lot of the fun is seeing just where you ended up. Was the diamond I was trying the heist the Koh I Noor crown jewel? Was the museum I ended up in the Louvre? Little details like that would have improved the game, in my opinion.
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the_quiller
on 3/17/2016 8:09:35 PM with a score of 0
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